To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

[Youngishh]

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

I really hope you’re wrong. People have shared some very personal experiences here.

My horrible divorce, which included multiple custody battles and subsequently I missed out on half of my only Ds's childhood as his father frequently wouldn't allow me to see him.

The traumatic death of my much adored grandmother, she had a fall and lay on the ground for 16 hours. In the hospital she contracted an infection which caused delirium, she didn't know who I was, so I never got to say goodbye and thank her for being the one constant love in my life.

My dad succumbing to his decades of alcoholism and suffering as no human should. An animal would have been put out of its misery if they were suffering like that. The expression on his face post death will haunt me forever.

I'm so sorry for everyone's pain on thod thread. Life can be so very tough.

So sorry for everyone's loss and pain, and especially the loss of beautiful babies xxx

I wonder what type of vaccination?

When my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she didn't want to go to the hospice, but wanted to die at home. It was a harrowing time, and I'll never forget the last two weeks.

The only good thing - I told the children that when my time comes, I'm going to the hospice. You can come and visit when I'm all cleaned up and medicated.

I have read every single post on this thread. I applaud every person who is still soldiering on after these traumas.
I am sorry for everyone's losses xx

In the last 3 years: My final parent died of cancer. I ended a 23 year marriage that had been largely miserable but I'd stuck with as 2 Dc with SN. I then met my Partner (an old flame from my youth) 2 years later he died of cancer. My adoptive Mother's Cancer is back. My Ds had sudden heart failure last summer. He is still unwell and has his 3rd MRI tomorrow. I'm so very tired.

My husband was involved in a horrible work place accident and our ife together has never been the same. I'm always watching him as it has destroyed his mental health and left him suicidal, he's a wonderful man that's been destroyed.

When my son's tummy bug and what we thought would be an overnight stay in hospital for IV fluids to rehydrate him turned into a bowel obstruction, septic shock and a 20 minute cardiac arrest. We were told he wouldn't survive multiple times but against the odds, he did.

Only to find out 2 weeks later that the bowel obstruction was caused by a cancerous tumour. They were able to remove it all during surgery and scans showed it wasn't anywhere else but ideally, he needed 2 rounds of chemotherapy in the hopes it wouldn't come back. He was still incredibly unwell at this point and by the time he was well enough, it hadn't come back so he was considered in remission.

Unfortunately, just a few months later, it did come back. This time he was well enough for chemotherapy and after 4 rounds, he was in remission again.

That was 4 months ago now and so far, he is still in remission. Sepsis did an absolute number on his body and he wasn't able to come home until almost a month ago after 308 days in hospital.

He had to learn how to sit up, eat etc again and is still learning how to walk again after almost losing his right leg to sepsis.

He's my little miracle. 9 years old and still smiling despite everything he's been through.

Admitting to myself that it was time to let my baby girl go and having to say it to my husband. She had fought so hard and her little body was ravaged so much that her organs were failing and doctors had rather abruptly discussed the amputation of limbs as if it was no big deal. My husband had stood rubbing her legs for hours to try and help her and it broke my heart. She was on a ventilator in ICU and I realised how cruel I was being by expecting her to keep fighting.

It was the death of my partner.

After a string of false starts and failed relationships with incompatible men, at the age of 39 I finally found the perfect man and within weeks we were madly in love with each other. I thought this person would never come along in my life and I counted myself as lucky beyond belief that I'd finally met him. He was just so perfect for me; he was everything I had ever looked for: stunningly handsome, devastatingly intelligent, sparkling, witty, talented and erudite. We were together for just over three years when he developed cancer and died after just four months later. He had just turned 36.

Oh my goodness. I'm so happy your son is in remission, what a hard time you have had, I wish you only good health and happiness from now on.

Similar to some other posters, trying to understand/accept/verbalise/process years of childhood rape and sexual abuse as an adult. I don't know how to do it, and am beginning to get lost in the weight of the fury, guilt, disgust and shame. It feels so much harder than the experience of the actual assaults.

I count myself lucky though, I am in so much awe of so many posters here who have coped with unbelievable loss.

Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your baby, I hate that things like this happen at all of course but especially to little ones, it just isn't fair.

My twin babies died last Christmas. One little boy was born sleeping and my other angel died in the NICU 4 days later. We had to remove his life support and he passed away in our arms. I walked into the hospital that night as a mom of two twin boys and left 5 days later with a coffin. I'll never get over it or the day we buried them but we managed to get through the year and are expecting a little girl in the Spring.

That is absolutely awful - I'm so very sorry.

Breast cancer, but because of the potential consequences for my DH & DS. Then 2 months after I finished treatment DH had a stroke. Just as I was getting used to out new normal my DSis died of pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed late summer last year and died 8 weeks later. We’ve had a lot to cope with over the last 3 yrs. I couldn’t really tell you which event was the worst because all have left me reeling.
I’m early 60s so after a couple of months getting my head around the latest tragedy I’m getting on with life because it’s too damn short.

An unholy combination of HG and pre-natal depression and anxiety when I was pregnant with DS. I remember lying on the bathroom floor thinking "there's no way I can survive this".

I also developed Tokophobia and became so convinced my body would be ruined by childbirth that I had panic attacks and made a plan to kill myself when DS was born.

I did survive and even had another baby. 2 ELCS so I never had to go through vaginal birth. The HG wrecked my teeth though and I've had a lot of painful and expensive dental work.

Losing my mum to cancer when I was 26, and 3 back to back miscarriages.

Fuck off. It's a very hard decision for anyone to make. And yes I've had to do it.

The worst thing that ever happened to me didn't even happen to me as that seems self indulgent. But 20 years ago, my best friend called me to talk about breast feeding and I was busy with my own kids and palmed her off a little and she killed herself 2 hours later. I have honestly never got over it.

How awful. My sympathy.

Having my baby removed at birth due to concerns about past MH difficulties (I'd been well for some time, managed full time employment and had a mortgage). It took everything in my power to resist the instinct to grab my precious baby and run! On an intellectual level I knew this was the worst thing I could do and it would just prove them right so instead I held it together and signed my baby away in the hope that I would get her back if I complied. Definitely the hardest thing I've ever done.

Luckily it worked out ok and she was only gone for a couple of weeks pending a parenting assessment but I've never recovered emotionally from the ordeal. The feeling of powerlessness was traumatising. It continues to be a very lonely experience even a decade later.

Probably my dad dying of early onset Alzheimer’s during my 20s/early 30s. MS diagnosis was and has been a walk in the park in comparison. So sorry for all those who have experienced loss, I cannot imagine losing a child in particular, there can be no greater pain x