To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

[Youngishh]

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

Mentally, it was when my DM was.crushed to death 18 months ago. I say 'was', I'm still dealing with it now. Physically, it was peritonitis and subsequent sepsis that very nearly finished me off.

My thoughts are with all of you who have quite obviously been through hell and are quite likely still there.

My dad dying of cardiac arrest due to undiagnosed heart issues, barely an hour after we’d sat and had a cup of tea. I’d just arrived home and had to rush back to him.. holding his hand in the hospital after he died a mere 2 hours after seeing him alive and seemingly well messed me up for a good while afterwards.

7 months later my son was rushed to intensive care in France while we were on holiday with diabetic Keto acidosis (extremely high blood sugars).. they told me even if they got him conscious he’d probably be brain damaged and watching them prep a ventilator very nearly finished me off.

Mercifully he made a full recovery and though now type 1 diabetic, he’s your typical 13 year old, but I think the trauma of that year will effect me forever.

i was 11 and had to make an incredibly hard decision. My friend and I went to see her family. There we were locked up and we were asked to choose me or her. I instantly fought for her and chose myself. I was then assaulted at the kitchen table. The old witch turned up the tv whenever I screamed. I fought him off eventually and was physically thrown into a poky bedroom and locked up. Memory is hazy after that but I kept her safe and us alive.against 3 adults we had no chance. It’s been 20 years and I’m finally able to speak with out my body going into shock. I’ve been through more but that’s the most painful.

So much loss here - so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted repeatedly as a child, not by a family member. I was a subsequently precocious teen who searched for sensation and affection and tried to rewrite my sexuality on my terms. I had a teen pregnancy and the baby was adopted. My best friend who I adored died in a traumatic way a long way away from me. Later my son overdosed and my husband became very ill and remains a broken person. It’s the death that hurts. I feel gratitude everyday that my children are all now well and happy.

Being seriously assaulted and getting my abusive ex convicted of it.

Hearing my 18mth daughter groan like a buffalo in ICU as she died from Wilm's Tumour. 42 years ago. Haunted and living with it has been exhausting.

@Itstillstings god I am sorry x

last march my little dog made a noise in the chair next to me had a week died dead in a minute a heart attack i was on my own at 11pm , had to wrap the body and carry it down stairs broke me had to carry the body in a bag to my vets next day, the only way i could cope was to get a new rescue dog a week later,. my second is seeing my sister aged 31 fight cancer and die ,

Probably my brothers suicide nearly 20 years ago. I was the last person to see him alive and that wears heavily on me. My family has never really recovered from it.

Or perhaps in 2021 (hence the username) when I attended my Mums funeral the same week my Dad was diagnosed with dementia.

Neglectful parents
Terrifying abusive bf in late teens- he late went to prison for blinding someone with a bottle
Move to new city for man who then left me
Divorce
2 x mcs
stillbirth at 29 weeks then diagnosed incurable blood disorder / life changing open heart surgery
Love of my life leaving me and our 18 month old.

All good now though

Being raped as a child and left in a flat, getting home by myself after that and then pretending nothing had happened. I have told exactly two people IRL about this (a few more in online support groups).

My dad dying suddenly when I was 9 months pregnant, having the baby, taking my 2 week old to my dad's funeral, developing PND and PTSD, and then never sleeping longer than 45 mins at a time for just over seven months. Really thought I might die just by fading away.

But God, I'm so sorry to everyone who's posted on this thread. So much strength to you all.

I am so so very sorry that happened to you.

Fucking hell. This is horrific. I'm so so sorry 😞

Omfg. Please tell me you got some justice for this? I'm so so sorry 😔

My partner taking his own life after being sexually abused by another patient after he was sectioned on a mental health ward.

Delivering my stillborn son.

My daughter's premature birth 14 weeks before her due date, the subsequent 4-month stay in neonatal intensive care as she fought for her life, and the numerous disabilities and chronic conditions she battles to this day.

As an only child, both of my lovely parents developing dementia at the same time and the six years since spent as their primary carer, watching this vile disease steal their memories, personality, speech, and dignity. Today my mum collapsed and was taken to hospital where the doctor issued a ReSPECT form that stated no more hospital admissions, to prioritse her comfort over extending life and that she wished to die at home. I don't know how long she has left. It's hideous watching her suffer indefinitely with no quality of life.

Probably 2024 was the hardest period of my life. Feb 24 got cancer , March 24 ex broke 5 ribs. April 24 had operation , Feb-April was admitted to hospital 6 times. July 24 started cancer treatment , August 24 cancer treatment stopped due to toxicity, September 24 spent 3 weeks in cancer hospital, day got discharged ex made me homeless, Oct 24 homeless for 7 weeks and had breakdown. Spent Christmas Day on my own without my children . Never would wish that on anyone

A parent collapsing and dying in front of me, I was in my 20’s at the time. Still haven’t gotten over it and have awful trauma from clinical settings etc. Gave me terrible PTSD, flashbacks, anger issues- the lot really. I’ll never be the same person again, the guilt and despair eats away at you.

No sadly not.

My husband dying suddenly when I was 36 and our daughter was 2. It was during the first lockdown so I was pretty isolated, didn’t see my own family for 8 months after the funeral (they live overseas) and the whole experience was just hideous – his death was sudden and unexpected but came after his recovery from an ICU stay (and induced coma) in which we also lost him, and during that time my daughter also got a chemical burn from a bad batch of nappy wipes they used at her nursery so I had her in one hospital and DH in another at one point. Then just as we thought things were looking up DH had a cardiac arrest and died at home. Breaking his ribs while doing CPR was the second worst moment of my life — the first being when the paramedics told me there was no hope.

Sorry, that was a ramble and I haven’t read the full thread as it was overwhelming me. I don’t talk about it in real life ever – the details are too distressing, even worse than I’ve shared here, I could never inflict it on anyone. But it’s good to let a bit of it out sometimes.

My husband having a brain haemorrhage. Our eldest was 4 plus the twins were 6months old.
I was told a 50% chance survival rate and a 5% chance of him retaining all mental faculties

He was that 5%
Since then we are grateful for every single day.

I’m so incredibly sorry to you, we lost our first child at 39 weeks, completely perfect pregnancy, not one issue at all- the day I was due for a (medical reason) GA c-section we found out there was no heartbeat, I’d felt her move the night before & as I was having a GA I had to fast from the night before & it wasn’t unusual for no movement to be felt until I’d had my 1 cup of coffee & my breakfast everyday so I literally thought there was not a thing wrong! This was in 2016, I think I’m still in denial about it as I talk about it as if it was a story about someone else! I don’t know if it was a personal lack of awareness or just genuinely not knowing something so drastic could happen so late on! but now when I see people doing their pregnancy announcements on sm after passing the “SAFE” time (12 weeks) drives me mad- there’s no such thing as a safe pregnancy (in my opinion) only when your baby is born, in your arm’s & squealing & is medically cleared is the first time it’s ”safe” to tell everyone. We luckily were able to have a beautiful healthy child the following year & that pregnancy was awful & I was hospitalised for most of it & baby was a premie- but he’s a big boy now and doing great 💔❤️‍🩹🩷❤️- I doubt I’ll ever go through anything harder than that.

Having said that, as awful as it was losing DH I can think of lots of experiences that would be worse – many of which people have shared on this thread – and I feel, on balance, very fortunate thus far. Probably always will do providing DD is happy and healthy and here with us.

My child's father leaving me for someone else when I was pregnant, then at the same time being pushed out of my job because I was pregnant. I felt so abandoned and such a sense of failure I thought about taking my own life but my love for my baby got me through it all.

I cannot imagine anything worse than losing a child. My heart breaks for those who have experienced it 💔.