Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

537 replies

Youngishh · 02/02/2025 20:49

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 02/02/2025 22:51

I just want to say I hear you to everyone who’s shared and posted

AngeloMysterioso · 02/02/2025 22:51

It’s a tie between watching my Dad die slowly and painfully of cancer over roughly 8 months

or

already being in the depths of hell with an 8 week old baby who didn’t sleep and only stopped screaming to take a breath, when my Mum very suddenly and unexpectedly died, and I had to deal with it completely alone.

perrymason · 02/02/2025 22:52

maybein2022 · 02/02/2025 22:10

I just had to respond to this one as my daughter is in the throes of anorexia and this message has given me hope. Thank you, and I am so glad she’s doing so well now.

To everyone- sending all who have been through so much trauma much love and strength.

Show quote history

And me.
Watching her wasting away as she is right now, and hearing her say she wants to die, is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.
So sorry for the awful things other
posters have gone through.

stonebrambleboy · 02/02/2025 22:53

Zone2NorthLondon · 02/02/2025 22:48

I was not going to post, but here I am
Working through Covid19 pandemic. Being scared for myself. Scared for patients and the overfuckingwhelming stress of having to do it all again, every single day

Thank you so much for everything you did xx

Rainbowgrey · 02/02/2025 22:54

This thread is devastating to read. Thanks to all those who have responded to what I wrote earlier.
Just so you know it is almost 11 years since my little boy died (he should be in his first year at secondary school now) and although I will never get over losing him I've had a little girls since. They are now 8 and 9. I wasn't sure if I was able to have more children as a month before he died I had a ruptured ectopic (it was an awful year), and lost a tube.
Life is liveable again, it's actually pretty good, I have to live because he never really got the chance.
I don't believe in heaven but if I do ever see my son again and he asks what life was like, I need to be able to tell him about the world.

Charmatt · 02/02/2025 22:55

Getting back from my honeymoon at 23 to find my Dad was ill. He died from cancer 5 months later.

Finding out my son's developmental delay and ultimate life long disability was caused by medication I was prescribed.

I'm so sorry, OP, that you are having a tough time. There will be sunshine behind the clouds, and the rain uktimately causes the clouds to disappear.💞

Chuchoter · 02/02/2025 22:55

A visit to my parents house from the police saying my oldest sister was missing presumed dead. She had gone to a party on the river boat the Marchioness in 1989 and a Dredger hit the boat. Over fifty people died but thankfully my sister was rescued and unhurt but we didn't find out until the next day.

It was an unimaginable horror and the loss of so many vibrant and young people.

hulahooper2 · 02/02/2025 22:56

dealing with a house move due to divorce while my Mum was dying

Eyesopenwideawake · 02/02/2025 22:57

Dealing with dying animals, sometimes in the sort of pain that does not need a vet to resolve but I didn’t have the bravery to do it. I will next time.

kkLeeNex · 02/02/2025 22:57

Finding my dead father and trying to resuscitate him
Living through a year of my son wanting to kill himself and getting absolutely no professional support. Had to leave my job, and get a loan to pay for private therapy. My son is alive and well today. My job meant nothing in comparison.

User5612347 · 02/02/2025 22:58

My mother died unexpectedly and traumatically. I live the closest and was with her in A&E and had to break the news to the rest of my family. My exH was completely unsupportive and his behaviour went from fairly unacceptable to outrightly abusive before she was even buried. I broke up with him 3 months later.

isthatmyage · 02/02/2025 22:58

OP my childhood 😞

CB2611 · 02/02/2025 22:59

I had a miscarriage about 8 years ago. I was devastated. I've since had a daughter (she's amazing).... but now realised my mum watched her daughter go through a miscarriage and now that I'm a mum, I feel like it must have been worse for her than it was for me.

Rainbows89 · 02/02/2025 22:59

I know this doesn’t compare to some people but supporting my daughter through her scoliosis spinal fusion surgery was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.

nellythe · 02/02/2025 23:00

Witnessing both my parents try to kill themselves with various different methods as a child. I had an awful childhood in some ways. It’s probably no wonder I tried to kill myself as a teen.

RadFs · 02/02/2025 23:00

Zanatdy · 02/02/2025 21:08

One of my best friends is currently dying. It’s so hard. Only diagnosed new year’s day. Today we spoke about her ashes will be scattered on the coast and she will always be there. Three of us crying outside the hospital. Three newborns passed us, on their way home. The cycle of life and death, she only has weeks at best. Everything has been turned upside down. Practically too as I have her dog.

I’m so sorry. Must be a very difficult time. Wishing you strength and your friend ease.

Noshowlomo · 02/02/2025 23:02

Life can be so fucking traumatic! This thread has had me gasping.
You never know what someone is going through do you.
Sending love to you all xx

MadamMaltesers · 02/02/2025 23:02

SallyWD · 02/02/2025 21:32

Having a severe nervous breakdown aged 19 was terrifying. Being diagnosed with cancer when the children were toddlers was just awful. These were my two worst periods in life.

I had a nervous breakdown which turned to psychosis 10 yrs ago and honestly i did not think I would make through.

SchrodingersTwat2 · 02/02/2025 23:02

So many things. Illness, deaths, divorce etc.

Weirdly, the worst thing ever was going round to let my boyfriend's dogs out, looking through the window and seeing his ex wife was moving back in. He lied about it in 4 phone calls as that day went on.

I don't know why it affected me so badly. I actually had chest pain for a fortnight with the shock and stress. 14 years on and if I really thought about that day, my eyes would still fill with tears.

AubernFable · 02/02/2025 23:04

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/02/2025 21:49

Going through therapy for childhood abuse - had the most wonderful therapist but my god the recovery was worse than the actual abuse, because I had to look as an adult at what had been done to me in the full understanding of how many people let me down. I’m fully recovered and very healthy now, but my goodness the healing was agonising.

I relate to this, I have never done well in therapy as I don’t like talking about it but I’ve been working on dealing with it alone and what you said about understanding how many people let you down and the severity of it hits home. I’m sorry you had to go through that too, an internet hug being sent your way. 🤍

Nonaynevernomore · 02/02/2025 23:04

Rainbows89 · 02/02/2025 22:59

I know this doesn’t compare to some people but supporting my daughter through her scoliosis spinal fusion surgery was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.

There is no measure of pain, yours is yours.

Mamabear333 · 02/02/2025 23:05

My best friend symptoms being brushed off because she was overweight. They FINALLY agreed to a brain scan after years of her begging. She had it on the Friday, she was found dead on the Wednesday. I collapsed when I was told. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

Rosiecidar · 02/02/2025 23:06

Mine was my divorce too. I just really loved him, I don't have anything bad to say about him...it didn't work for him, he wanted out. It took me a long time to even date, and I have never met anyone who made me feel the same way. The death of a parent didn't hurt as much. Divorce can really hit you, it robs the feeling of the future you dreamt you would have.

RadFs · 02/02/2025 23:07

SSRI · 02/02/2025 21:13

Craftymadre you are so right.

My father died by suicide when I was 17. I'm 47 now - the age he was - and it's never left me, it's never not affected everything. And never will stop affecting everything. For me, my siblings and my mother.

That’s the same age my uncle died of the same reason. Im sorry for your loss. I don’t like using that term. He died of depression. It’s a horrible illness. However you’d never be able to tell he had it. Hid it well even though we knew he suffered from it. Still hurts me today and I can’t imagine how painful it still is for his siblings.

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 02/02/2025 23:09

That's a tough one.

There are a lot of things that have been so hard. I mean, my childhood was traumatic- very little has actually been easy since. There have been many situations that may not seem that bad on their own, but have been relentless.

My young children losing their dad to cancer was awful. Watching their pain and grief, and seeing how from that moment on, their worlds felt less secure. It has had a profound impact on all of them, forever.

I would say my husband's recent psychotic break is up there too. The things that I saw and what happened was horrific, and for weeks, it seemed like I would never get him back. Even now, I have lost a part of him and you grieve for that person even though they are alive. It is still very raw though, and actually, some positives also seem to be emerging.

Us humans are definitely amazing. I am so sorry for the pain people have experienced.