To be apprehensive about this

[CleoMantra]

So my ex left me for another woman a few months ago and he has just asked me to send a picture of the children’s passports as he is taking them on holiday with her and the grandparents. The children are 4 and 7 and I have never ever met this woman. I want them to go and have a good time and he questioned who I was punishing here.

It's not funny though is it?

No need for the emojis when you're talking about families splitting up.

And as previously said, many women can and do behave like shit also when it comes to this sort of thing.

The past 6 months have been absolute hell for me. I never in a million years thought he would treat us like this. I feel like a fool and no it really isn’t funny.

He is their dad and can make decisions like this, you have no say, he didn't even have to tell you OW was going.

I do agree with you but there is nothung you can do and in all honesty a random woman is of little risk to your kids especially when they are with their GP too.

The other way round would be much worse, you taking kids away with a man you barely knew. You could discuss that with him and see how he'd feel but I doubt it'd change his mind.

He sounds like a bully. Ultimately he's right, he can get access, but you don't need to make it easy for him if you have genuine concerns.

I wasn't talking about OP. She's only talking post split. I was speaking to another poster about some of the men people post about on here. No need for you to get involved Jenny 😂😅🤣😂😅🤣

Oh God, sorry - I've done it again!

Why would it be worse if it was the other way round?

I wonder what the responses would be if it was a woman wanting to take the kids away with a man she hardly knows 🤔

@CleoMantra because people are hypocrites.

And the women posting about them are real too.

Really, you're scraping the dregs now with how you're presenting yourself here.

They have been dating for 2 months but have been friends for a while I think, I have just never met her

They tend to be generally similar to be fair.

As you can imagine there's been lots of these sort of threads over the years.

I wasn't speaking about your situation being funny. You've misunderstood - I was having a back & forth with another poster about some of the men on here generally.

With regards to your situation -

• Ask to meet ex for a coffee
• Raise your concerns
• Ask him if he understands your concerns, how would he feel?
• Ask to meet with his partner before the holiday

If any of the above are not possible and he won't play ball, then unfortunately, I think most posters on here are right - there's really nothing you can do?

Do you not get that she is siding with her son? She has cut you off.

Yes, how dare people 😂 on MN when they're involved in a back and forth with someone else and you're not even involved 😜😆

For God's sake, lighten up Jenny 😁😆😅🤣😂😛😜🤪😝😅😅😅

I would also never do that either. I would always like a good relationship with my future DIL (if I have one) as I respect how hard it is to be a mother

I’d understood it to be pretty much reciprocal - she could get a court order to stop him or he could get one to force her to agree - both of which wouldn’t exactly be in the children’s best interests.

And if it were “the children on holiday with their parent and grandparents plus someone I don’t approve of” it would be hard to get that supported by the court.

But thankfully I don’t have direct experience and may have misunderstood the legalities

Of course she understands how hard it is to be a mother - she’s being a mother by siding with her child. As most of us would, when the chips are down.

That love you feel for your young children doesn’t get any less powerful when they get older! You’d do anything for your children whether they are big or small.

Yes they both need consent in the absence of an order. If a child arrangement order is in place the resident parent then ordinarily doesn't need the other's permission but the NRP still does.

I agree it's not necessarily in the best interests but the OP wouldn't have to apply to stop the holiday, she just needs to withold her consent. Her ex would have to apply to court to get specific consent.

It's one of the reasons I sought a CAO tbh. To be able to avoid situations like this!

You're being really mature about it OP - much more mature than I would be!

Your ex sounds like an absolute prick and you're well rid. And as for your MIL, he'll have filling her head with alsorts of bullshit so don't even worry about it.

No she doesn’t as she didn’t bring him up.

No I wouldn't allow this. Absolutely not. Just as he probably wouldn't if you were planning it with some bloke you'd just got together with.

I have already agreed to it. He is an arsehole for doing it but I’m not letting the kids miss out on a holiday.

@CleoMantra At what risk though? Your children are going to be naked & vulnerable around a near stranger whom they've met how many times? That puts them at risk.
PP's on here can shout about equal rights/OP has no say etc but the fact remains that children going on holiday with a near stranger they barely know - male or female - regardless of whoever else is there also, puts them at risk.
What if she's an alcoholic? What if she's violent when drunk? What if she secretly takes drugs and leaves them lying around? What if she physically punishes her own child and decides to do the same to her partner's kids? It's not just predators who are the concern here!
I'm not trying to frighten or worry you OP. I'm just elaborating on why I would absolutely put my neck on the line to protect my DC in this scenario. Even if it meant they missed out on a holiday.
This isn't about your feelings for him it's about your DCs safety & wellbeing

I know but he thinks I am being funny about it because I’m jealous, I don’t think I am, at least I don’t think I am.

The same could be said about grandparents etc, how far do you take it? I would never let them do anything if that was the case. I am absolutely aware that what he is doing is wrong and something I would never ever do but I need to do put them first, regardless of how I feel about it.