How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

I just wanted to say you sound like a lovely mum and I hope you and your daughter manage to unravel this together. I also hope that it's all down to car loans etc and can be sorted.

Then what are they spending their incomes on?
Have you seen a monthly breakdown of their expenses to try to understand this further?

Do they smoke/drink?

Exactly. And as they don't have childcare bills, they really shouldn't be struggling - especially when they'll be entitled to benefits on top.

Sounds like they're either very bad with money or one of them has debt they're not telling you about. Or one of them is a gambler etc.

Plus paid holidays and full time NMW is more like £23k, plus he's doing overtime meaning they're likely to have well over £3k pm coming in and their rent is £860

Where on earth is their money going? They need to review their budget because something isn't adding up.

If they can't afford it, they should not have moved in. The rent is more than affordable for 2 working people. 27 years ago I moved into a bedsit near Marble Arch, I thought I could manage it. No contract, nothing, cash in hand, no receipt, coin-operated shower. Loot or Evening standard or suchlike. Then the rent went up almost twofold. Off I went to my parents with my tail between my legs. I would have dreamed of asking for a loan from my parents to continue renting a place I could not afford myself.

Why should OP! If they can’t manage to pay their rent they certainly can’t afford a mortgage. Even on shared ownership their monthly payments would be considerably higher!

A person on the minimum wage would earn about £23k a year. Take home pay would be about £20k a year.

So with two of them working with minimum wage jobs and no childcare costs, that's a disposable income of around £3350 a month. Not including any benefit entitlement or child benefit.

So if their rent is £860 a month, where is the other £2490 going?!?!

I don't think you're being told the full story here.

Ds is 19 works full time. Minimum wage 24.4k. Nearly 1700 net. Still lives at home. Saves loads.

That depends on where you are doesn't it. I wouldn't call it reasonable where I'm from.

@Taigabread she wouldn't be unreasonable to retire either, you would just be jealous. That doesn't make her unreasonable.

And he gets overtime!

They both have cars????? They probably could live within their means but with the bank of Mum and Dad within easy reach, they choose not to. Did they not build up any savings when they were living with his parents?

More fool you for being guarantor to a couple without a financial clue.

Sorry, correction, I would NOT have dreamt

I don't understand people claiming that £860 is just normal rent.

My housing benefit for a family of 5 is £475. When we where first getting on our feet 17 years ago that would have been impossible.

Its also catch 22 when benefits are involved as the more you earn the more you are penalized, since UC came in we had to stop overtime (even though could really do with it) and we ended up worse off for working more time. So if he works 6 days and overtime they probably have LESS money coming in.

UC was suppose to even the playing field for those that are vulnerable and/or on minimum wage but all it does is kick people down who are trying to get up... people say 'just work more', yeah it doesn't allow for that it takes money off you so you work twice as much for a loss.

My DH got a Christmas bonus last month, he is a top performer at work so is being rewarded for his hard work... and for that we got no UC this month and will only part of next months but that money is already long gone on just basic living bills and rent it wasn't 'extra income' to claw our way up or have an easier life.

So many people on mumsnet don't have a clue how millions of people live in poverty.

I agree about sitting down and doing a comprehensive spreadsheet with them re. income and outgoings. You have the right to do this as co-guarantor. I have a feeling someone is a spendthrift and using you and the MIL to fill in the gap.

The mysterious case of the missing 2 and a half grand a month,,

I’m a single parent and my rent is that much.

OP, surely you're only 53 if you were born in 1972?

Car, petrol, food, water, electricity, gas.

Various bills which happen on a regular basis such as; car maintenance, home maintenance, dental and medical bills, replacing worn-out clothes and shoes, etc.

Well done to your daughter 😊

Does my head in when people moan their kids can't get on the property ladder. If an 18 year old went straight into a min wage job from school they could save £250 a month easy and by 25 would have over 20k saved, but oh no they like to blame the 'shitshow' 🙄

It's weird they are struggling with this rent amount if they are both working an no other debts. If they can't manage finances maybe they should move in with a set of parents and save up for a deposit on a property in an area they can afford, there's always a way. Renting is money down the drain

@housethatbuiltme
I don't understand people claiming that £860 is just normal rent.
That's really inexpensive rent , I don't think you can get anything in my area for that. Two doors down rent a 2bed flat, no garden, no parking for £1300 I've got a 3bed, front and back garden , a drive my mortgage is way below that.
Over the road new built one bedroom £1100, again no garden or parking.
New ppl have moved in and a house recently sold, so we've all been chatting about properties.

Mine is less than 600pcm and I'm in a 3bed semi with large front and back garden and driveway. So there are cheaper properties out there but obviously huge divide between north / south, or even locally between various areas

I agree - it’s either time to tell your dd to put on her big girl pants and sort out a budget or to do the spreadsheet for them and tell them what to do.
It can only be bad money choices. They should have in the region of £1400 a month left after loans, rent, utilities. Which needs to cover only food, petrol and whatever else they choose to do.
I’m all for supportive family but at some point they have to grow up. They are not in a bad situation, they should be able to save at least £500 a month and any overtime money if they are careful.
You can support them without acting as a bank and working until you drop.