How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

We are all adults, no one needs you to explain bills to us.😂

amd it’s not the missing 2,5 grand, it is missing 3.5 as there is months they can’t afford their rent,

What is their income OP
because you’re very open about what they need to spend and how their income is insufficient
But you don’t give any hint as to their income

£860 rent is probably lower than average. My sibling pays just over that for a 2 bed terrace in an unfashionable suburb near a city in northern England.

I would not call the OPs DDs rent and income a 'shit show' unless she's referring to their budgeting skills rather than the CoL crisis.

@Mrsbloggz don't assume that because I have 1972 in my name that I was born then. It's just a number I picked out 🙂

Mine and DH joint income is around £3200 a month and we have one car on PCP.

Gas and Electricity £112
Council tax and Water/Sewage (Scotland) £111
Virgin Tv, Licence and Internet £150
Car £450
Petrol £40
Food/Alcohol/Takeout £1000
Annual boiler service £19

total £1882 which leaves us £1318 a month. If we were paying rent equal to what your daughter pays on top of our outgoings we would still have around £450 a month left. I think your daughter and her partner need to write down all their expenses and see where the money is going as they should be able to manage.

Obviously.
@housethatbuiltme seems to think that £860 pcm is a lot. You couldn't find anything apart from a room or big house share in my area for that amount of money (northern)
We have no idea where op family live.

@trainboundfornowhere and if you needed to, you could probably cut down your TV package and food/alcohol/takeout budget significantly, so it's not exactly a tight budget, am I right?

I don't think it's alot for a house, im pretty well aware I've got v cheap rent

But those things don't come to 2.5k a month, every month, unless you're spending well outside your means and not paying any attention to where any of your money goes.

@Lighterlilly We are all adults, no one needs you to explain bills to us.😂

You're the one who pretended to be confused that they have spent their money.

@TicklishRubyCritic I don't know where I've been that open about what they need to spend. If you're referring to a long list of costs a pp copied & pasted, then she didn't copy that from me! She's copied it from another post. I think I've already indicated that it's close to minimum wage

@Allthenameshavegone1972 what do they do? Could either of them retrain and get a higher paid job?

We could cut down on the tv package and our food/alcohol/takeout budget if needed.

It seems like the best thing you (or her in-laws) could do is it sit them down and make a proper budget and also look into Universal Credit to make sure they are getting any help they can. There’s a good manual calculator here Universal Credit Essentials Calculator

if they don’t want to do this with you then citizens advice may be able to help Or money saving expert has some budgeting resources.

Yes I am surprised that they are spending that much they can’t afford their rent.

im sure they aren’t spending thousands a month on replacing worn out clothes, medical bills , dental bills and maintenance on their rental.

you do. That’s fine,

I'm sorry but I think they are miss managing their money and know their parents will bail them out. If I was expected to bail them out, I'd want all the details of where their salaries are going.

So two adults working full time (the man working 6 days a week), slightly above minimum wage and no childcare costs at all

that will be a decent income

do you or do you not know their income op?

I've wondered this too. But I have to admit that until we walk in someone's shoes, we just don't know.

I am currently single after a long LTR. I chose to rent and am happy that way, and have had to find more employed work as my own business has been struggling.
I can still afford all of my outgoings quite easily on a low wage, which has given me a lot of freedom and joy over the years.

I don't run a vehicle and prefer to keep fit walking, but may consider it some day. Even with that, if there were two of us we could so so easily have luxuries if the rent and bills were split!

Maybe people struggle as they have more than one child, or pets, multiple vehicles and/or over consume.

You know their rent
you know they both have car loans
you know they’ve asked other for loans
you know they pay zero In childcare costs
you know they they work slightly above minimum wage

but you aren’t willing to share Income 🤔

My husband and I both make above minimum wage and find things hard these days with childcare. I can't imagine trying to live off of minimum wage (especially with children)

They didn't save when living with in laws due to child care costs & they did pay some rent to them, it wasn't completely free

It still doesn't add up I'm afraid, even if they're just on minimum wage; a "small amount of rent" and childcare shouldn't swallow the equivalent of £3500+, especially if food costs and utilities were already found, so as practically everyone's said there's something else going on

Not sure about them "not wanting to take advantage" either since they're now asking both parents for "rent money" - if one pays, what are they doing with the money from the other?

Normally all this would be strictly their business, but since you've signed as guarantor you obviously need to know the details and personally I'd be insisting on them or there'd be no more money

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but this is an adult? Maybe time to back off.

Definitely recommend moneysavingexpert. Great website.

A budget doesn't need to be anything fancy, just a simple list with their income and all of their outgoings.

It does sound like they can't manage their money, rather than it being because they are underpaid.

Also if someone is spending thousands per month on dental bills (and not in the USA) I would imagine that they have been very genetically unlucky :(

I also notice the irony in how many people encourage others to claim UC when on another thread right now there is an argument that we care beyond capacity and can't afford the benefits bill. People need to make up their minds, unless they are ok with families claiming it but resent the ill and disabled...

And I will come out with it. If you can't afford to live with children and pets, then neither are a great idea until you are more solvent. If misfortune happens after the fact then I believe we ought to have a fair and empathic benefits system that isn't interfered with by the billionaire tabloid press.

More and more tabloid style thinking on MN recently. I thought this place was middle class? Apparently not!