How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

The mortgage on my 3 bedroom house in the Midlands is £583 a month with low council tax band, between my husband and me. We live on an ex-coal board estate, nothing fancy, the houses are built similar to council houses. The exact same house on the same street as us recently was advertised £1200 a month rent. More than double our mortgage. We lived at his mum’s house, frugally, while we saved hard for a deposit in our 20s and only just ttc our first child now in our early 30s but we are financially in a nice position now. I would discourage anyone from renting if they can. A house is an investment, why line someone else’s pockets?

No it’s often a requirement for renters. I have to be a guarantor, too.

Tbh, that’s still a lot to pay out when you have other bills on top. My energy bill is £300 per month currently, water rates £60, council tax £150 (and I’m in a an area with a bonkers Labour leader who’s just applied to the government for a 15% rise), plus with car payments, tax, insurance, home insurance which can easily add up to an extra £500 a month if just the one car. So if you have two average low incomes of say £1500 each after tax, with an income of £3000, you can see how additional spending on other bills, plus food and any wrap around child care, is going to leave very little extra money. I honestly don’t see how people keep saying it’s a money management problem.

Are they servicing debt?

I'm wondering why if they are both working they need a guarantor? Unless they have bad credit.

But then they have managed to get two car loans.

Their rent is very low. I last rented in 2007 and earned 16k and I paid £650 a month then. The relative rise in minimum wage makes their payments less of a percentage of their take home than people have had for decades.

Yes we have two others doing this. Unfortunately, work opportunities aren’t always in exactly the same town/city your parents live.

My point was more about the stats. This shitshow is going to get worse, so much worse.

Okay well it makes very little sense that they're so skint with no childcare to pay and both working. I agree you shouldn't be having to fund them at your age - though I also think it's only a lucky few who get to down tools at 60 these days and the expectation is to keep working for the best part of another decade, but that should be to fund your own lifestyle, not your grown DC at this stage. They shouldn't be needing to borrow from with set of parents or move in with them, especially when they're already getting free childcare from them.

This is wild. Even on minimum wage, if they have no childcare costs, that should be doable. No, they won't be living the high life, but they can certainly cover their rent and bills and food. They're not managing their money properly, I'm afraid. Don't change your plans - let them work it out themselves.

They didn't save when living with in laws due to child care costs & they did pay some rent to them, it wasn't completely free. Then they moved out just a few months before dgs started school, as they had first dibs at this house. Looking back she wishes they'd stayed so they could save. On the other hand they are happy where they are, dgs goes to a good school & they have a very good landlord who quickley takes care of things if they go wrong.
They are not grabby dc, but work very hard & try not to take too much. They are not forever asking for stuff/money as they don't want to take advantage. They do have their cars on dealership finance which is too dear. My daughter could not get a bank loan. It was during covid times & she had a poor credit record. Not due to debts but because she hadn't built up any credit record. She'd never had a loan or credit card, nothing, so no good credit score.
I shall get to the bottom of it. I can see she's already looked at ways of cutting down, getting better deals. And his car loan finishes this year & hers next year, so that will make things a bit easier for a while. I think the problem is them not managing his money properly, he gets paid weekly & she monthly. No excuse, but I think it must contribute.
It may not be my responsibility to do it for her, which I'm not; but no harm in helping them to see where they're going wrong & to get back on track, it's what families are for.

They can’t even pay their rent. How would they cope with a mortgage!

Ds and partner are paying less for their mortgage, even with the Truss interest+ scheme, than for the rent on their previous home. Both properties in the same city.

What cars do they have?
audi or Vauxhall corsa?

I agree work opportunities aren’t always in the same city . Are your children’s work opportunities within travelling distance of your home?

My daughter could not get a bank loan. It was during covid times & she had a poor credit record. Not due to debts but because she hadn't built up any credit record. She'd never had a loan or credit card, nothing, so no good credit score

Something here doesn't make sense? Sorry OP, sounds a tricky situation all round.

Of course they're struggling if they're on minimum wages with car loans.

I manage to pay my car loan and rent fine on min wage. But both my car loan and rent are probably significantly cheaper than theirs

The y should save for cars and not do car loans.

The daughter should have built up a credit history first.

It doesn’t make sense, you’re right.

Reading between the lines the OP’s daughter is terrible with money and in debt. No credit history is a poor excuse. She’s never had a phone contract? Been on the electoral role?

Welcome to the real
world. We are all going to be working until we drop. I feel desperately sorry for your dd tbh she has a life time of this ahead of her.

Sorry haven't rtft so this prob already been suggested but if they're asking for you guys to keep bailing them out I'd be asking to look at their last month or so bank statements to see if they're wasting money and taking the piss.

So where does their money go?

What cars do they have ?

They’re paying a very low rent but can’t manage! Even if they are on the minimum wage they’re still taking home around £1600 a month each which gives them a combined income of £3200 before they pay their bills. They’re clearly financially incompetent and as long as you bail them out they’ll never take responsibility! Time for some tough love.

OP, one person working NMW 35h/week, 48weeks a year (assuming the rest are holidays) brings in just under 18k. Adding the same net from her partner and deducting rent leaves them with about £2100 per months on bills, food and everything else. Whilst not excessive it's absolutely reasonable amount. They are either not telling you truth, not working full time or are really very bad with money management

There are definitely lots of younger people, and even older people in this situation of struggling to pay essential bills. There are far more younger people continuing to live with their parents now, even those with their own children so I'm sure multi generational living has increased and will continue to increase more because many cannot afford the basics.

In this particularly situation though, it sounds as if there is an element of poor money management as they are in the very fortunate position of not paying anything for childcare.
Do they have a lot of debt excluding the car loans @Allthenameshavegone1972? It sounds as if they are paying back something else. How much do they each pay for their cars and do they actually need cars/ two cars? Could they sell one? Are they over spending on other things that they don't need? You need to sit down with them and look at their finances carefully if they keep asking for help.

@YesHonestly she has no debt. I have checked, with her permission of course.

You need to sit down with them both and have a look at where all their money is going - income vs outgoings. With two adults working full time, even in low paid jobs (presumably also receiving child benefit and maybe other benefits if on low incomes) and no childcare costs they should be able to afford that kind of rent. You say they don’t have debt, fancy cars or an extravagant lifestyle so their money must be going somewhere.