To call in sick after this happened

[cherryblossom83]

I have worked in the same company for almost 20 years. I love my job. Due to the nature of my job it can be difficult to get time off at certain times as any shifts swapped have to be done ourselves. I accept this and have missed out on family events over the years.
I rarely take a sick day I've had one sick day in 5 years.
I've now had a bereavement and because it is not a direct relative of mine but someone I knew extremely well the company will not authorise me the day off to attend the funeral. The problem I have is because it's a training course hence why I cannot swap with one of my colleagues despite the course taking place frequently and I have offered to attend the course on my days off they will not accommodate me due to the course being at maximum numbers. I don't have access to see who is on the course on other days.
Aibu to just call in sick at this point as they will have to find me a place on the course at a later date or would you basically just keep saying what I have already said that I need to be there.

This is so heartless OP. What type of work do you do? Would you be easily replaceable if you threatened to leave?

I’d call in sick and I’d be honest and say the issue was extreme anxiety and distress effecting mental health at not being able to attend the funeral of a much loved friend. I wouldn’t fake an illness as that could get you in trouble if it were to come to light but if you’re honest about it being mental health related I can’t see how they can dispute it.

This. Don't 'ask', just 'tell': you're taking the day off. Job done!

Can’t believe posters are saying get signed off sick! No wonder people can’t get GP appointments and the Uk is seen as workshy . As others have suggested there’s a way around this without clogging up the NHS .

They can't say anything if you say you're sick for a day. They literally have no power to do anything, it would look incredibly unreasonable of them for one day.

I had a situation happen where I asked for annual leave and was told no. I ended up with back pain so bad I couldn't get out of bed on the same day I'd asked for and knew it would look like I was faking it but there was nothing I could do, I literally couldn't get down the stairs let alone go to work. Nothing happened.

Don’t go back or look for another job take leave for mental health reasons !!
you have shown 20’yeats of loyalty and they won’t allow a day of this is not somewhere I’d ever work or show any loyalty from here going forward !!! Big hugs be brace and do what u want they don’t own u remember that !! ❤️

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That is terrible. I'd ask them if this is how they treat staff who don't have time off.
I'd let you have it off with pay.

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If they won't allow compassionate leave that's fine / dud you say NGS? There's a specific protocol for that on the Intranet. However you can take annual or unpaid leave.
If they don't allow that I would take it to higher management and complain.

They could easily swap other colleagues around so you could attend a different course. I would put it all in writing, including how you have worked for 20 years, have been loyal, have shown a willingness to attend the course at another time, or swap with others. I would set out again what you have done and explain the impact of your close friend's death upon you. Lay it on thick. If they still refuse, just go, take a few days off sick and look for a new job.

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so what if they discipline you. A day unauthorised absence looks better than lying to say you’re sick on a day you were signed off for

I had to urgently take one of my DC to hospital and then look after them the day after. My employee later said I had to take it as unpaid leave, leaving me short. They wouldn’t even let me make the time up.

Out of my dept. Of 20, I am the only person who has not been off sick in the past 18 months. I haven’t seen one of my colleagues for 2 years, another for a year, 2 others have had the last 3 months off, and now are on holiday.

I will never, ever, take the hit on my pay, or annual leave again. If I have an emergency, my DC needs me to be home for whatever reason, I'm calling in sick. I’ll use up my sick quota (the amount you can have off before it’s an issue, and even then it’s not as my colleagues have all shown) on days when I know it’s going to be tricky for me, and I’ll do it guilt free.

What exactly is your job? Is it a hospital or emergency service? If not I’d leave OP that’s no way to be working

Your employer is absolutely shocking.
Shameful behaviour.
Call in sick 2 days before and take a week off.
Your great attendance record obviously counts for nothing
Fuck them!!

I think the answer is
"I have requested the day to attend a funeral of a very close friend. This is central to my mental health. You have told me that you will not sanction it being taken as annual leave. Therefore, I assume that it will be put down as unpaid leave. I am really disappointed that this is your response against my many years of service and flexibility on my part. But so be it. "
I would take the day you need for the funeral as unpaid. If you are paid sick, I would leave it a week or 2 and take a weeks sick leave. I would also end flexibility on my part.

If it was the funeral of someone close and your mental health at not being able to attend was so poor you were in distress, then it's not a lie to call in sick.

I would hope it wouldn't come to it and unpaid leave or annual leave might be an option they and you prefer but I honestly think they are being totally unreasonable.

I'm sorry for your loss and that you're having all this hassle.

This. Call sick and go

I'd go off sick immediately with stress/depression, and not come back for at least a month. Say you've been struggling for a while, your friend's death got you down and then you had a panic attack.
screw them, if this is the way they treat you. It's not even as if they are struggling to cover your shift, if you were booked on training you wouldn't have been working anyway.
they could have had minimum inconvenience, just you doing a training session slightly later, now they get the maximum
seriously why are some employers like this? It's always the hard workers who do everything possible that get shafted, but I bet there are some shirkers that take a few days off every other month.

I’m wondering if OP would get full sick pay either if she has such a crap employer.

What have I just read🥲 That is shocking, I would be looking for a new job. I would be off sick for a fortnight with that shite behaviour.

This, and then start looking for another job.

That's exactly how my company is (a so called ethical, caring, worldwide one) , they would do the same, and I wouldn't be able to take it as annual leave, because, get this, AL has to be booked A YEAR AND A HALF in advance. Yep. One of the many reasons I'm jobhunting after six years there. And it's min wage retail, so it's gobsmacking really.

Are you sure you really want to stay working for an organization that treats its employees so badly?

Another who would do this.

Of course, I do acknowledge, it is easier to be bolshy and stand up for yourself if you are not really dependent on that job. I probably wouldn't have done this when I was young, with a big mortgage.