New to working in a nursery and witnessed horrible treatment

[Emrald1]

Today, my colleague was in a bad mood and just wanted to do tasks like clearing drawers and not interact with the children. She was frustrated with a DC crying and said 'right, this is what we're going to do' and she forcefully grabbed her by the hand and marched her over, plonked her hard down on the floor and then chucked her doll that she had brought in from home down on the ground next to her really hard. A bit later on, she aggressively marched over to the same DC with a angry look on her face and forcefully removed her dummy from her mouth. Whilst having dinner, the same DC was trying to take food from another's plate and she again grabbed her hand away in not a nice way and shouted NO. I don't do nappies as I am lunch cover so I let her know that this DC had soiled their nappy, as she was on nappies and there was no other staff present. She gave a look of disgust to the DC and didn't say anything. I made a note of these things. I was looking for advice as I know I need to report this but this member of staff has been there a long time whereas I haven't and I have a feeling I won't be believed as I think she is seen as a very competent member of staff but this was witnessed by just me. How can I approach this please

I just had a baby who will need to go into childcare next year. I really don’t want to send my child to a nursery as I’m so put off from working in one. Do you think childminders would be any better? I found a lot of nursery workers were very stern with little patience for the children, like they fell into the job rather than actually wanting it as a career.

Read the replies on here then and report it as you are supposed to. Tell the parents if you have to. The only chance these kids have is for someone to stick up for them. They don't need you to be scared to report because it is cliquey. You are a grown woman!

I just read about this, so sad.

“Genevieve go home. Do you have to be so loud and constant? Change the record."

These phrases are something I heard on a daily basis when I worked with a nursery staffing agency in several nurseries. I also found them so understaffed and babies were crying out for cuddles/ stimulation.

The government is funelling young people into early years college courses it used to be hairdressing and so on.
Now it's early years and it's the students who struggle accamically for whatever reason.
There is no problem with that but just remember it's sometimes not a chosen career path, parents have pushed them into it.
It's not a calling, it's just what they ended up doing..
Unfortunately the government is now removing the need to do the courses at all so you're going to get uneducated last chance saloon types working in them.

@Ottersmith the point is she has to be clever about how she reports.
Being clique means the report may not go anywhere.
No one wants that to happen.

@AleaEim

If you get a chance childminder just pop in unannounced when you can.
I saw a good few childminder in action when I was a sahm, some were wonderful others ok but I wouldn't have my dc with them. There was a trio I think two sisters and possibly even their mum! All childminders and they wouid sit and chat at toddler stuff, nothing wrong with that but it was very much chat first, children are an irritation now.
And I didn't like the tone and way they spoke to the dc, nothing to report but I wouldn't want my dc spoken to like that.
Again make sure you have one with some early years quals.

@ToothHurtyAppointment I guess you have to work in somewhere with vulnerable people to see just how much relies on good people.
There are many chocies to be made throughout the day when your tired and stressed and someone won't settle and every nerve is tested and you're really tired and again that older person or toddler is pushing you and you have to dig really deep to keep patient and professional.

My old neighbour put her dc into a nursery a friend of mine bad pulled her dc out of and I knew from social sm and then my friend it had a very dodgy reputation but my neighbour said it was amazing but I'm not sure she actually did any research into it.

I do feel there is blank spot over nurseries because people don't realise what can go on behind closed doors, they do get smoozed by staff all smiles and lovely. It's what everyone does now, so just automatically do it without thinking too much.

You see on here people saying my dc is still crying going to nursery and they get told it's normal behaviour, they will settle it's good them keep going.

Hence why I said report higher, I’d always give the manager a chance to sort it out first but I’d complain higher if they hadn’t dealt with it appropriately eg in Scotland we would complain to Care Inspectorate, I’m sure England is Ofsted

My children were neglected and abused in a childcare setting. The case is currently going through the criminal courts so I can't say too much but it has been HELL.

Please report, escalate and next time step straight in to protect the child. I am devastated by the idea that no one stepped in to protect my children, especially my little one and that those with suspicions didn't act on it.

I was completely oblivious and in fact a bit smug about how wonderful my childcare was.

Please, please do what you can.

I've personally had a great experience with childminders. Research shows that kids do much better with one consistent adult to attach to than the rotation of people they get at nursery which is pretty unnatural and confusing for them. Wth a childminder you also know exactly who will be looking after your kid - not temp staff you haven't even met.

I will say however that I interviewed about 20 childminders, even those far away, to find a brilliant one.

This lady only takes 2-3 kids a day and has grown up kids, beautiful big clean house and just adores the children. I also employ a nanny some days and my daughter prefers going to the childminder, so once she has more space we're switching to the childminder full time (a lot cheaper too).

I have read a lot of studies on childcare and I would only use a nursery if the childminder options were truly terrible.

You can also go to local playgroups to "see your childminder in action" as it were, if you're on mat leave, or just see how they treat kids when parents aren't there.

What’s Genevieve Meehan?

@MsCactus that's the best idea find one you think maybe good then go to toddle groups to watch them in action that's the key.

I know everyone is saying to report, but I haven't seen anyone saying to report direct to Ofsted.

I'm a childminder, have run my business many years and this is what made me start doing it in the first place- I didn't trust the nursery workers having seen some bad treatment first hand when I was younger. So, I became the childcare instead. If you have any concerns about the welfare/ treatment of a child you should report to your governing body- Ofsted in England, care inspectorate in Scotland. You could write a detailed email and copy in to the manager of the nursery/ and also the governing body. That way there is a written trail that cannot be dismissed.

Thank you for reporting this OP. You really have no other option, otherwise this behaviour could escalate.

For those anxious about finding childcare, nurseries can still be a good option. Locally one is a charity and as they don’t have to make a profit for shareholders / owners, they pay their staff a little better and attract good people. When you are looking for one, as well as visiting and listening to your gut instincts, look them up on the Companies House website to see what their structure is and who owns them. If they are making massive profits from children you will see it reflected in their accounts.

Of course you must report. This is a safeguarding concern about a colleague, so you will need to follow whatever your safeguarding policy tells you to do in that situation. If it is not handled properly, then you raise it further. Sorry that you had to witness this.

Should add that my children were toddlers when I started childminding. It meant they stayed home with me and got friends to play with too. It was the best choice I ever made. Utterly adore my kiddies.

My kids are 18 and 16 now and are so good with small kiddies. So beneficial to all ❤️

@Anothernameonthewall ofsted isn't the amazing swift acting investigative body that people think.

I think laddo would be better as well perhaps

@HHowdoyoureallyKnow I agree, perhaps an email to all three? Ofsted, Lado and manager of nursery? Governing body should be informed tho. That's what all our child protection training tells us to do.
I'd also may e check if there's a whistle blowing policy. Just in case you feel your concerns aren't taken seriously enough.

If behaviour like this is being done in front of a new member of staff, I dread to think how that child (or others) are potentially being treated. It's sad, but not everyone caring for children should be doing the job.

This breaks my heart to read. OP you're a good person for noticing this and caring. Even if it's hard please take this further, report to management chain and Ofsted.

My youngest DS (2) was at a nursery where I had strong suspicions things like this were going on but I couldn't prove. The staff seemed stressed, were constantly changing, and the children seemed so unhappy. There was always one or two crying by the door wanting to escape. One time I collected him, it was outside play but he was soaking wet (even his socks and trainers were dripping wet) and he was covered in poo they hadn't noticed. I pulled him out and found somewhere much better. The change in him has been really noticeable, he is so much happier and making friends. I feel like there are things that go on at nurseries that are hard to monitor. He is my rainbow baby after 3 miscarriages. Not that's its relevant but I didn't go through all that hell to let him get treated badly at nursery.

Please report this OP, these little children deserve to have the best start in life.

Exactly this, I will admit I fell into childcare myself and nannied in my twenties when my freelance career wasn’t going well, I was good at it though (I think) and am a v honest/ conscientious person so I gave the kids the best time I could. I met many other Nannies who were amazing and some who were weren’t, most Nannies have other things going on too with many interests/ hobbies/ life experiences so they appeared to have a more positive approach to the children compared to the nursery staff I encountered. This is just my experience though, not saying all nursery workers are like this.

Great idea yes but how would I know where they spend their time? Would they tell me what groups they go to do you think?

Nannying and childminding have high levels of autonomy, which humans need for job satisfaction. You can choose what to do, where to go, visit nice places and be outside in the sunshine.
The only downside can be a lack of interaction with other adults which is why the chats at toddler group are so important.

Nursery staff are generally working from one room all day, with very little autonomy - the work is high stress, high stakes (you literally have the lives of vulnerable children in your hands) but simultaneously boring and repetitive.
High responsibility and low autonomy is the worst combination in a job for satisfaction/happiness.
But also they are held to much higher standards than parents in terms of never being irritable or losing their temper.

@AleaEim

I had a little circuit of toddler groups I went to so Monday was x church hall, Wednesday blah church hall.
Loads of child minders went because it's super cheap and has a good loose structure, dc can play and socialise. Many have a craft then offer biscuits and tea, have books out toys and do a sing along at the end.

@littleluncheon excellent post

And, you said nothing at the time?! That poor child.