Can we stop talking about men being trapped?

[ForRealCat]

Just from another few threads; we talk about women getting pregnant either intentionally, or accidently and carrying on against the mans wishes and how it "traps" the man. I can see how decades ago this may have been the case, women would get pregnant and any 'decent' man would be expected to step up and marry her. Thus securing a husband and a degree of financial security.

Nowadays I can see why a woman may get pregnant intentionally against her partners wishes, (maybe she wants more kids, feels like se is missing her chance etc), but can we stop talking about "trapping" a man. Very few men nowadays will wed a girl just because she is pregnant, and the financial support he is obliged to provide is to support the child and not the mother.

Very few women find themselves financially better off getting pregnant and claiming child maintenance. So AIBU to think the 'trapped' narrative has had its day.

Of course some women trap men with pregnancy. My sil did it. If a woman in a long term relationship says she's on the pill do you think men should watch them swallowing it each day or would that be a trust red flag?

I feel so so sorry for all the men who have never heard of condoms. My heart goes out to them.

Relationships are based on trust. Is it stupid to believe your partner in a long term relationship when she says that she's on the pill?

Like I said, disgusting.

You know we never talk about men trapping women, telling her he's infertile or had a vasectomy when he hasn't.... because the assumption is she's an eejit if she believed that. And yet....

I also agree, more likely to be women who are trapped due to having children, promises being made and then being stuck in low income or sahm with no support financial or otherwise.

That is an excuse some men use when they want to rewrite history lately. Also not all protection claim 100% efficiency. So yes, some women can get pregnant while their parent doesn't want a pregnancy. Only method that prevents pregnancy is celibacy.

Yes, there are some women who will lie about taking birth control. Men need to wise up and use protection until they themselves are ready.
Not to mention why should a woman who wants a pregnancy bear the responsibility of taking precautions to prevent it. It should be on the person who don't want the pregnancy to take the steps to prevent it.Whether, it is the man or woman who doesn't want it.

So shall we apply that to women too? No need for abortion servces then.

If a woman doesn't want to take birth control, she doesn't have to. She can tell her partner that she isn't using it and he can take some responsibility, that's fair enough.

Lying about it is disgusting. There's no need to lie.

OK so unless men and women are actively trying to conceive they shouldn't have sex?? 1950s Ireland is calling, they said can you come back 😂

And can we start talking about men trapping women with pregnancy? It’s never mentioned.

So shall we apply that to women too? No need for abortion servces then.

Yes, because abortion is exactly the same in every way

Yes, I would teach them the statistic of birth control. Especially, mention how unreliable withdrawal method is.

I will teach my dc to take control of their own fertility and remind them, abortion is a women choice not the man. The only choices they have is to protect themselves, or leave themselves wide open to the consequences of their urges.

Thank you for saying this. It's a well known thing that abuse ramps up when a woman is "trapped" with a baby. Childcare and financial burdens still fall overwhelmingly on women. There is little social censure on men who walk away.

No contraception is 100%. If a man doesn't know any to risk a pregnancy he shouldn't have sex.

I don't think the trapped narrative is relevant today. Maybe for some but I would guess there are more men shirking their parental obligations than feeling they have to get married due to their own mistakes

It’s stupid to not sort your own contraception out anyway if you really don’t want a kid and see it as being “trapped”

Women bear the burden of pregnancy so it’s not like they have it easy

Are you expecting men to abstain or acknowledge that every sexual encounter has the possibility of pregnancy, and accept they can't compel women to have abortions?
When they can unashamedly run off and leave them holding the baby?

YABU! Most unreasonable 🙃!

and lying isn't stupid?

Women are fertile and capable of becoming pregnant for about 24 hours (give or take) in every 28 days. Men can get a woman pregnant every time they have sex.

Unless we want a conversation about men having a say in whether a woman has an abortion or continues a pregnancy we have to insist that mens choices about becoming a parent happen before sex. Those choices are be responsible for contraception but acknowledge it can fail or don't have sex.

No man is "trapped" into becoming a parent.

Judging by the very low birth rate in the UK, most people seem be able to prevent having babies if they don’t want them. I doubt that many men are tricked into fatherhood. I think most ‘trapped’ men have just been willing to be careless and take risks.