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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband actually thinks he is punishing me. Ha

171 replies

Plopandflop · 29/01/2025 11:12

Had a row this morning. Normal row that all couples have re our daughter whereas I think he expects to much of her husband thinks she is not pulling her weight bla bla bla.

anyway he has stormed off upstairs in a huff. He is now lead in bed with no phone (left it downstairs) no tv. He will be lead there determined not to come down board out of his mind.

where am stretched out on the sofa with a coffee and a bar of choc with the telly to myself with the sun streaming through the window. Thinking what a prat he can be

OP posts:
JessiesJ99 · 29/01/2025 16:23

SwingTheMonkey · 29/01/2025 16:21

If you’d bothered to at least read OP’s updates, you’d know why they’re both at home on a weekday, not that it’s anyone’s business, nor does it make any difference to the post.

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I thought the post was funny. I 😂

Move along......

Drollie · 29/01/2025 16:23

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 29/01/2025 14:33

Thanks for this. DH and I never row, have a lot of people saying how wrong this is, one of us must be suppressing their feelings , it's not normal etc.
My parents didn't row either and it's possible.

Show quote history

Yeah i agree. You can disagree, no need for rows.

Drollie · 29/01/2025 16:25

Wordsmithery · 29/01/2025 13:41

Nearly all couples row. In my experience the couples who say they don't row go in for massive sulks instead which is far more unhealthy. Better to air everything and move on, no?

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I dont think nearly all couples row. The few I know that do are not in healthy relationships. I know quite a few couples who disagree and resolve it. Why shout? What does it achieve?

SwingTheMonkey · 29/01/2025 16:38

JessiesJ99 · 29/01/2025 16:23

I thought the post was funny. I 😂

Move along......

Show quote history

I’ll reply to anything I like, thanks.

You responded ‘this’ to someone saying it wasn’t normal, and why were they at home lying around on a weekday. Replying ‘this’ generally means you agree with their post…

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 29/01/2025 17:21

BatchCookBabe · 29/01/2025 14:39

Good for you!

There does seem to be an air of superiority and smugness though from many people who allegedly 'don't argue/never have a row!' Wink

I have known around half a dozen couples who 'never argue/never have a row.' All are divorced now. 4 of them because of cheating/affairs.

Funny that isn't it? It's almost like if you never argue, that doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is perfect! 😆

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Smugness? You're the one laughing at the couples who divorced.
Almost as if you're happy about it.

No one said those who don't argue are in perfect relationships.

JessiesJ99 · 29/01/2025 18:29

SwingTheMonkey · 29/01/2025 16:38

I’ll reply to anything I like, thanks.

You responded ‘this’ to someone saying it wasn’t normal, and why were they at home lying around on a weekday. Replying ‘this’ generally means you agree with their post…

Show quote history

I do agree with their post 😂

Move along........

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 29/01/2025 19:03

Wordsmithery · 29/01/2025 13:41

Nearly all couples row. In my experience the couples who say they don't row go in for massive sulks instead which is far more unhealthy. Better to air everything and move on, no?

Show quote history

It's possible to air everything without a row though.

Original poster
Plopandflop · 29/01/2025 19:34

Hi i cant believe some of the replies i got.

me and dh have made up and we are fine, i went up with his phone and he apologised and just said he is struggling so we had a long talk

OP posts:
Likewhatever · 29/01/2025 19:57

Good to hear OP!

user0872883848 · 30/01/2025 10:27

Ballynatray · 29/01/2025 11:15

That doesn't sound remotely 'normal' to me. Why are you both at home lying down during the day, anyway?

Unbelievable

MabelMora · 30/01/2025 16:07

Ballynatray · 29/01/2025 14:18

They're perfectly valid questions given the paucity of information in the OP.

The OP describes a row and her DH lying fuming with a dead phone and no TV upstairs, under the impression he is punishing her, though she is downstairs with the TV to herself and snacks. It's a pretty weird set of circumstances for the average Wednesday morning for two people who are young enough to have a school-age child who needs help with her gumshield.

She subsequently clarifies exactly why they're both home on a Wednesday morning, and the reasons explain exactly why both the OP and her DH (and their DD) might be behaving irrationally in the wake of his diagnosis. But I don't think they were particularly unreasonable or judgemental questions in the context of the OP.

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Of what relevance is their employment status? Why does it matter why they're at home? It makes no difference.

I've been coming on here for nearly 20 years and have seen it steadily go to shit. No wonder there is so much pisstaking of Mumsnet on other sites. Joyless, humourless arseholes have ruined this place.

MabelMora · 30/01/2025 16:08

And OP., you weren't being unreasonable. The Germans invented the word schadenfreude for this sort of situation!

Ballynatray · 30/01/2025 16:56

MabelMora · 30/01/2025 16:07

Of what relevance is their employment status? Why does it matter why they're at home? It makes no difference.

I've been coming on here for nearly 20 years and have seen it steadily go to shit. No wonder there is so much pisstaking of Mumsnet on other sites. Joyless, humourless arseholes have ruined this place.

Show quote history

Because it makes a huge difference if, as they are, this couple who appear to be sulking over a fight in two different parts of the house, are doing so in the context of one of them having had a serious diagnosis, over the behaviour of a child who is almost certainly also reeling with shock.

It really isn't that hard to understand. I'm sure you'll get it if you try.

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 30/01/2025 18:11

Here comes all the perfect ones who never argue. Christ on a bike!

Midnightlove · 30/01/2025 18:14

I mean, surely it's not really any of your business anyway?

Midnightlove · 30/01/2025 18:15

Oh I thought you were talking about a daughter and her husband.. nevermind!

Midnightlove · 30/01/2025 18:21

Ballynatray · 29/01/2025 11:15

That doesn't sound remotely 'normal' to me. Why are you both at home lying down during the day, anyway?

I'm often lying down in the middle of the day, it's great 😆

SwingTheMonkey · 30/01/2025 20:44

Ballynatray · 30/01/2025 16:56

Because it makes a huge difference if, as they are, this couple who appear to be sulking over a fight in two different parts of the house, are doing so in the context of one of them having had a serious diagnosis, over the behaviour of a child who is almost certainly also reeling with shock.

It really isn't that hard to understand. I'm sure you'll get it if you try.

Show quote history

And again, the relevance of their employment status?

Inanutshell1 · 31/01/2025 08:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Inanutshell1 · 31/01/2025 08:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

latetothefisting · 31/01/2025 11:21

JessiesJ99 · 29/01/2025 16:23

I thought the post was funny. I 😂

Move along......

Show quote history

Really? What on earth about "That doesn't sound remotely 'normal' to me. Why are you both at home lying down during the day, anyway?"

is even vaguely amusing, let alone so funny it needs FIVE crying with laughter emojis to convey how utterly hilarious you found it?

you must have a very weird sense of humour...

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