Husband actually thinks he is punishing me. Ha

[Plopandflop]

Had a row this morning. Normal row that all couples have re our daughter whereas I think he expects to much of her husband thinks she is not pulling her weight bla bla bla.

anyway he has stormed off upstairs in a huff. He is now lead in bed with no phone (left it downstairs) no tv. He will be lead there determined not to come down board out of his mind.

where am stretched out on the sofa with a coffee and a bar of choc with the telly to myself with the sun streaming through the window. Thinking what a prat he can be

The irony of someone questioning OP’s productivity while they themselves are on mumsnet.😁

Mellow? 🤔

Bless you, OP, it sounds like you’ve all had a stressful time and if anything is going to cause silly rows then it’s suddenly having to spend more time with your OH. No matter how much you love them, there’s no one more bloody annoying sometimes!

You’ve been ill with a kidney infection and he’s been caring for you through it, add on his diagnosis and having to go PT, you’re probably both knackered and more short tempered than you would normally be.

Unlike some others on here, I’d like to give him credit for walking away and hiding under the duvet while he calms down. He’s giving you both space and there’s nothing wrong with that (I bet he regrets not picking up his phone though 😂).

All the perfect comments, arguing isn't normal, we've argued twice in 25 years.
OP and her DH I imagine in light of health issues are under a lot of stress.

They're perfectly valid questions given the paucity of information in the OP.

The OP describes a row and her DH lying fuming with a dead phone and no TV upstairs, under the impression he is punishing her, though she is downstairs with the TV to herself and snacks. It's a pretty weird set of circumstances for the average Wednesday morning for two people who are young enough to have a school-age child who needs help with her gumshield.

She subsequently clarifies exactly why they're both home on a Wednesday morning, and the reasons explain exactly why both the OP and her DH (and their DD) might be behaving irrationally in the wake of his diagnosis. But I don't think they were particularly unreasonable or judgemental questions in the context of the OP.

Sure, but the OP didn't mention her own significant health problems or her DH's recent horrible diagnosis in her original post. Of course these two facts explain a lot, but the original post just describes two people sulking in different parts of the house in the middle of a weekday morning.

two people sulking in different parts of the house in the middle of a weekday morning.
the relevance of this being?
Not everyone works mon-fr 9/5

Not judgmental? Really?!

Don’t want to 🤣 only finished a couple of hours ago!

Do you REALLY REALLY think that absolutely everyone who has a job works 9am to 5pm? 😆 Your comments are both hilarious and ignorant in equal measures! Also, the irony of YOU berating the OP and her DH 'being at home in the day on a weekday' when you are posting early in the afternoon on a weekday! Ooooh could it be that you don't work 9am to 5pm! 😱

😂

Sounds perfect to me - enjoy! I bet he is kicking himself! And you didn't have to explain why you are home during the day as it is nobody's business but yours

This! 😂😂😂😂😂

Sorry to hear this, I hope the funeral goes well for you 💐

Thanks for this. DH and I never row, have a lot of people saying how wrong this is, one of us must be suppressing their feelings , it's not normal etc.
My parents didn't row either and it's possible.

Where in the world is today a Saturday? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤣

Good for you!

There does seem to be an air of superiority and smugness though from many people who allegedly 'don't argue/never have a row!'

I have known around half a dozen couples who 'never argue/never have a row.' All are divorced now. 4 of them because of cheating/affairs.

Funny that isn't it? It's almost like if you never argue, that doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is perfect! 😆

😂
I'm at home in the day lying down. I worked last night.
What are you doing on Mumsnet in the day ?
Haven't you got anything better to do?

OP, depression and mood swings are common symptoms of MS, so I'd factor that into how you react to what comes across as unreasonable behaviour from DH.

Every person with MS has a different experience of it - the level and type of disability varies so much. And even if it isn't so bad now, you can't predict how things will go in the future. There are some new drug treatments that have proven very effective so far, but they haven't been around long enough for there to be whole-of-life data.

So it's vital that people with MS take care of their mental, physical and emotional health, to give themselves the best chance of a satisfying and active life. If he has Relapsing-Remitting MS, the most common form, the idea is to reduce the number of relapses, because each relapse can leave you with a bit more disability than before.

It's a life-changing diagnosis for all three of you, especially as up til now you've been the one with health issues. DD now has two parents with long-term conditions.

You sound like a loving family - love that you're doing a x-stitch Lowry for him! - and he sounds like a good dad and husband. So don't let this upend you.

Maybe all have a calm discussion about what it might mean for you day-to-day. Dad might be more short-tempered, and have physical limitations eg extreme fatigue (which I'm sure you get too).I haven't read the other thread you mention, where you talk about MS, but check out https://mstrust.org.uk/ for support, advice and information on living with MS.

Long story short, both of you will need more help from DD - even if it just means looking after her room and doing her own chores (like the gumshield) a bit more.

I love a good flounce! Sometimes an argument is petty and stupid but humans are humans and they happen anyway. I would too be smug picturing their face as they realised they either had to skulk back downstairs or sit upstairs being bored to prove a point. Difficult choices!

I also love a good lie down when I'm not busy, every Monday after my run and the gym. Also a lot of Saturday's after a long run, go watch a film or something and lie on or even in the bed. There is always something else I could be doing but relaxation is just as productive and necessary as running about like a mad thing.

Same could be asked of anyone here.

I’d imagine an MS diagnosis takes a while to come to terms with, if that is even possible. I can imagine time alone is necessary to decompress. And you’ve got your own health problems that don’t sound easy.
Hope you can make up.

Don’t listen to most posters OP, rows are normal in relationships. Also, MS can cause mood swings/irrational anger! Been living with it for 10 years now and most specialists will tell you it is a common symptom and you will end up maybe getting into more rows over silly things as negative moods can be heightened. It can be really difficult to cope with both for the person diagnosed and the people they live with.

She didnt need to mention it until the snarky MN's got questioning!

It was a light-hearted post, about a sulky husband, as the kids say "its not that deep"😆

Has he appeared down yet?

If you’d bothered to at least read OP’s updates, you’d know why they’re both at home on a weekday, not that it’s anyone’s business, nor does it make any difference to the post.