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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we are becoming a country of hypochondriacs?

485 replies

YellowTulips25 · 29/01/2025 08:51

Firstly, let me preface this by saying that I entirely sympathise with people who have to live with serious long-term medical conditions. I don't wish to downplay illness or disabilities - visible or hidden - at all.

However, does anyone else feel like we're rapidly becoming a country of hypochondriacs, where an increasing number of people let seemingly minor health issues dominate their life?

For example, an article on the BBC this week features a woman who talks about having 'chronic pain, migraines and travel sickness' as reasons why it's impossible for her to work in an office. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

I think most of us suffer from aches and pains and headaches from time to time? What'd happen if we all started using this excuse?

And I know plenty of friends who always seem to have some ailment or other troubling them, whether it's being in pain, being tired, having a cough or cold, etc etc. It seems almost as if constantly being ill is part of their personality, a badge of honour?

I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but surely I can't be the only one to feel like rolling my eyes at some people's lack of resilience?

A woman with grey hair is stood centre frame. She has a solemn impression on her face and is wearing a grey turtle neck and light blue coat. She is stood in the woods.

Working from home criticism sparks anger: 'We are not lazy'

Hundreds of BBC readers disagreed with former Asda boss Lord Rose's view that working from home is "not proper work".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

OP posts:
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6
Anonym00se · 03/02/2025 19:20

@LazyArsedMagician

I do believe there are a lot of people swinging the lead, but it’s difficult to come up with a system that weeds out the feckless, without harming those who are genuinely sick and disabled. By forcing them into work, we’ll also be forcing those people who are truly incapable of working off benefits too. I think that we can all agree that would be evil and inhumane?

Kitten1982 · 05/02/2025 09:44

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 03/02/2025 14:49

Absolutely this. One of my oldest friends from high school was horrid to me after I had PND and it exacerbated my symptoms of my medication induced neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia. She actually said that she didn't have the energy to talk to me... and this is coming from a nurse! 😞😳 She told me to find a decent therapy or something that would help me, beyond the things I'd tried already as they clearly weren't working 🤔 I've got over it now, but at the time, I was really upset. How anyone can have so little empathy is beyond me.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’ve had family cut me out because I can’t go see them- because I’m extremely ill. The last time I saw my mum, I was in hospital and quite delusional from my brain being swollen (my liver was failing and I’d had many seizures- they said my liver enzymes were dangerously out of control due to my vomiting condition (CVS) and it had caused acute pancreatitis (something only alcoholics usually get. I don’t drink due to epilepsy (& I couldn’t afford to anyway). She then sent me a message near Christmas suggesting I just don’t bother enough. My lack of bothering has caused problems for her and it’s why my young adult sons (18-22) keep trashing my house. People think they can just imagine what it’s like to walk a mile in your shoes, but they can’t.

i went through PND after I had my second child. It’s no joke. I even had episodes of psychosis within it. I’m so sorry a nurse had that attitude to you, especially one you felt you could trust. How is it now? Sending all my love x

Kitten1982 · 05/02/2025 10:14

Anonym00se · 03/02/2025 19:20

@LazyArsedMagician

I do believe there are a lot of people swinging the lead, but it’s difficult to come up with a system that weeds out the feckless, without harming those who are genuinely sick and disabled. By forcing them into work, we’ll also be forcing those people who are truly incapable of working off benefits too. I think that we can all agree that would be evil and inhumane?

TBC, that group of people is so small that it’s offensive when people raise it. The UK fraud rate for disability benefits is 0.2%. It’s not worth mentioning and it muddies the water and it allows people to diagnose people as frauds by eye. Like those people who see someone stand up from their wheelchair and assume they’re a fraud because they think all wheelchair users are paralysed. Or people whose disabilities aren’t visible having to deal with friends and family saying stuff like you did x, so you must be able to do y/ you did x yesterday so you can do it today. People who make those examples against chronically ill people aren’t medically qualified and if they were, they’re not the ones who performed their medical history, examination and tests.

if it was another subject, a lot of people would be more careful about allowing sweeping statements to be made about an entire population, based on the actions of less than than half of a half of a percentage point. It’s horribly unfair and it means that disabled people like me and my disabled DC are looked at with suspicion by the general public.

i wrote something a few years back- it was published for scope and was a guest post for Mumsnet. It was called, ‘I’m tired of having to perform my disability.’ And so many people agreed with the article because they experienced the same feelings as me about being paranoid about societal judgements. So a lot of us ending up vocalising our pain when we’d otherwise be silent in it (which makes it easier to cope with) or having to transfer out of my wheelchair in a way society expects and accepts, rather than the way which is comfortable for me. It’s not fair that 0.2% of people who’ve decided to pretend our disabilities are having such an awful impact on the 99.8% who are genuine, not to mention all the genuine people who are wrongly turned down and have to appeal and put in for tribunals, and go through a hell of a lot of work to generate the necessary evidence.

if I only had one of my conditions (uncontrolled epilepsy with cluster seizures- which require emergency meds, but can also make me blind, paralysed, psychotic, incontinent, and wander off in my wheelchair), I would still need to claim disability benefits. But without my other conditions, I would seem just like anyone else between seizures, even though I have to have someone with me who’s trained to use my life saving medication at all times, it wouldn’t impact my other functions outside of the above. And when I am experiencing the above problems, my kids try to keep me inside the house (when I’m trying to run away in fear because the seizures have that impact on me afterwards) and I often just doze in bed, sometimes for a couple of days. I am often left with horrible vomiting and migraines. How would someone know what I look like when I’m very unwell when I’m either in bed or in hospital when it happens? Friends visit me in hospital, but only when I’m on the mend. They’ve seen seizures but only a couple have seen the clusters, and only one has seen my debilitating projectile vomiting condition (cvs- look it up. It goes beyond vomiting and is debilitating) because I don’t want to see people when I feel so unwell. The only reason the one friend who’s seen it has seen it is because she came to see me in hospital sans warning so I was still too ill to want visitors when she came in. So please, everyone, stop judging people as fakers and fit and we’ll because you really don’t have a clue.

i know I'm going to die young because of my health conditions (I’m 42 now and in 6 years alone I’ve been in trauma/ resus 10 times and have to be hospitalised several times a year. I lost a friend af the age of 34 to 2 of the same conditions as me, and another at 45), and I am so scared about whether my sons will be able to figure out the forms after I’m gone. Basically, I’m trying to create a guide for my eldest for how to fill in the forms for each of his brothers (he also has bipolar himself but doesn’t claim anything for it).

Can those (by no means do I only refer to the person I’m quoting but others on this thread) please actually do some research, but about fraudulence with disability benefits, but also relapsing and remitting conditions? In adding suspicions and repeating cliches which don’t apply to many, many disabilities, you’re allowing govts to effectively commit eugenics by starving us to death. Please stop, I beg you all.

janj52301 · 07/02/2025 11:52

I work for a GP, the number of calls we get for appointments for coughs, colds, minor ailments. We can signpost them to their local pharmacy but many refuse "they want to see a doctor". Don't know how to solve the problem though

JoyousGreyOrca · 07/02/2025 12:07

I do not think many people are faking things for disability benefits. I know people exaggerate though. People apply for PIP citing their symptoms on their worst day, even if that worst day only happens a few times a year.

glassacorn · 21/08/2025 00:53

Starting with fair, proportionate taxation and closing loopholes so that money made in our country doesn’t disappear in to the ether without giving back to the society that props it up, right? 😜

TheOriginalEmu · 22/08/2025 02:59

JoyousGreyOrca · 07/02/2025 12:07

I do not think many people are faking things for disability benefits. I know people exaggerate though. People apply for PIP citing their symptoms on their worst day, even if that worst day only happens a few times a year.

And that is exactly what you are told to do if you have a dynamic disability.

mathanxiety · 23/08/2025 18:01

justasking111 · 30/01/2025 13:53

My husband hates my chronic condition. I don't talk about it, the walking stick and gait gives it away. He's so angry refusing to be my carer yesterday because I asked him to take the bins out. He has been so used to me doing all the housework, chopping logs and carrying them in. He resents any changes to our lifestyle.

Yesterday he said I was ready for dignitas. If I ever got cancer he'd leave me I think

I think you should call Women's Aid - 0808 2000 247.

What you're experiencing is abuse, from a man who hates you and wants no chage to his lifestyle that involves having a skivvy to do tasks he considers too menial for him.

Cruel words are abuse. You don't deserve this treatment.

SpinandSing · 23/08/2025 18:44

Don't you think that your friends are probably suffering more from health issues as you're getting older now? That's certainly what I've noticed.

JLou08 · 23/08/2025 18:52

I agree to an extent. It might be unfair to use this woman as an example though. We do all get headaches but migraines are different, they can be debilitating. I've had migraines, luckily they are very rare, but when I have them my vision is really impaired and I can't drive. If I was having these regularly I may struggle to hold down a job away from home with set hours.

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