To think we are becoming a country of hypochondriacs?

[YellowTulips25]

Firstly, let me preface this by saying that I entirely sympathise with people who have to live with serious long-term medical conditions. I don't wish to downplay illness or disabilities - visible or hidden - at all.

However, does anyone else feel like we're rapidly becoming a country of hypochondriacs, where an increasing number of people let seemingly minor health issues dominate their life?

For example, an article on the BBC this week features a woman who talks about having 'chronic pain, migraines and travel sickness' as reasons why it's impossible for her to work in an office. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

I think most of us suffer from aches and pains and headaches from time to time? What'd happen if we all started using this excuse?

And I know plenty of friends who always seem to have some ailment or other troubling them, whether it's being in pain, being tired, having a cough or cold, etc etc. It seems almost as if constantly being ill is part of their personality, a badge of honour?

I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but surely I can't be the only one to feel like rolling my eyes at some people's lack of resilience?

That must be an exhausting way to live. I hope you can let a few friends know. I'm useless at keeping secrets so would find that an impossible way to live.

I agree. I'm still reeling a bit from the very blunt and hurtful remarks my friend from school wrote in a Christmas card about 4 years ago, after I'd been through hell with post natal depression which triggered a flare up of my movement disorder symptoms (as dopamine is affected by oestrogen, and i think the low hormones after birth had exacerbated my symptoms). My friend wrote that she hadn't been in the right place to speak to me, and hadn't the energy (even though she'd been fit enough to train for marathons and didn't have any children or associated responsibilities).

That hurt quite a bit, but she'd always been someone who didn't mimce their words. She is also a nurse, so i kind of hoped she might have a bit more empathy too...😳😞

Funny how sometimes health problems can create a wedge between friends. The healthy person most likely won't always relate, but the unwell friend might need to offload at times too. It's hard.

Maybe I am sanctimonious, maybe I’ve just had my fair share of health problems and quietly judge people who seem to use the slightest problem as an excuse. There are times over the last 3 years where I could have easily just thrown in the towel but I didn’t.

People seem really disappointed when they discover they are actually quite healthy.
Negative results and being given a clean bill of health should celebrated. When youv’e had cancer every negative result is a massive win. I would dearly love to be boringly healthy, but I like to think that most of the time I’m really lucky. I’m quite happy just being “ fine” at the moment.

MN is a particular stronghold for the worried well, so maybe this thread is a bit red rag to the bull.

Absolutely 💯 this. It's definitely a lot of genetics and luck. My adoptive DM is mid-70s and very healthy, but never does any really strenuous exercise (but is by no means unfit and eats everything mostly cooked from scratch). She's been told once by a nurse that she has excellent genes, so coupled with her lifestyle, it's helped to keep the illness at bay.

I've had a lot of bad luck being unwell in recent years, and if it hadn't been for my genes, I might not have been injured adversely by an off label antipsychotic. I'm guessing if I'd been biologically related to my DM, this might have been a different outcome.

Conversely, I was incredibly fit when a young teenager and before my ill health, and played hockey, ran half marathons, didn't have any aches, oral health problems or any neurological issues.

Life isn't really fair sometimes but it is mostly due to luck of the draw with health IMHO.

I am in my early sixties, too sedentary, overweight and have a health problem I was born with. But I do not get the age related aches and pains I hear my friends complain about.

I see you're doubling down on the migraines.

Why?

I agree about the 'illness culture'. I don't live in the UK and know very few people with the illnesses much of MN seem to have, and not nearly as many people WFH either. I also don't know anyone who has been signed off work for stress which is frequently suggested to posters on here.

There is a large gap between going to the GP with a minor complaint and ignoring more serious symptoms.

As someone who is living with two unseen health conditions its easy for people to look at you and think that there is nothing wrong, I live every day in constant pain and have to take medication every day to help ease the pain.
10 years ago I would have considered myself to be fit and healthy, since then I have had a twin pregnancy which has caused a diastasis recti and umbilica hernia which I am waiting to be repaired.
I have also been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and fibromyalgia both of which cause extreme fatigue and constant pain, its easy to judge when the conditions are unseen.

As you've been assessed for sickness benefits, you'd obviously know it's not that easy. What's easy about telling some stranger about your health conditions? I was lucky that mine was a GP so had some understanding of my conditions. And then there's the waiting to see what they've recommended - fit for work, possibly fit in the future or unfit for work

Primary care has more or less broken down in my area. I can’t get a GP appointment without losing my job because of how much ringing up every morning I would have to do to get even an appointment in three weeks. Even if people do know what’s wrong we aren’t treating it. I have a condition that if treated is fine but it took me three years to get referred to a consultant when I moved area for work. I then have had a year since that appointment. Obviously there are long waiting lists for operations etc and next to no post op physio.

So as a country we are getting sicker and sicker. If people seem like they are sicker at younger and younger ages this is a large part of why.

Although I doubt the OP's intentions, this has turned into a very interesting thread. Nothing about illness and disability is simple because multiple factors are colliding. Poor medical access, poor lifestyle, high cost of living. People can be disabled and on benefits (PIP) and working with a supportive employer all at the same time. I'm one of them.

Yes the self diagnosis is everywhere. I also think expectations need managing, we will have aches pains, sleepless nights occasionally, headaches, nausea, etc the list goes on. You take paracetamol and get on with it. Of course serious illnesses need treatment and medication but all the self diagnosed mental health conditions plus self diagnosed chronic pain conditions unfortunately put a massive strain on services so the people that need medical attention struggle.

Everyone needs to take responsibility and address self care so if your back or knees hurt, lose weight before seeing a Dr. If you feel sick take some otc meds.

If things persist then see a Dr but many people seem to want to be diagnosed and signed off sick nowadays. There does seem to be an element of poor resilience <not referring to those with a proper diagnosis of course>.

Yes, I worked for a charity giving advice and completing benefit forms for sickness and disability.
This was over 10 years ago now and even then we would not use bad days as a standard answer. We would use how the client's condition affected them the majority of the time.

I disagree that the UK has more of a sickness culture than other places -France certainly does, much more so than the UK. As to the WFH side, surely if WFH is meaning that people with chronic conditions can work when they previously couldn't, that is a good thing!
Or is the argument that if you think they are probably overstating their illness then they are probably skiving as well?

The fact that more young people are of long term sick than middle aged people, suggests we do have a major issue with sickness. This fact is ahistorical. Middle age is when people are struck down with various illnesses like cardiac issues, knee and back issues, cancer, etc. Although there are always some young people who are unlucky to be ill, for most young people this time of life is a time of good health.

Ah so because people deal with their health problems differently to you, they are wrong but you are right?

As it happens I have a serious illness and I work full-time shift work, earn a nice salary and definitely don’t like to address my health problems with friends or at work. I am not holier than thou about it simply because I am able to cope better and balance. I’m lucky to have good mental health, a supportive employer, an amazing family and excellent friends. My support network is solid and my finances are good. My health may be bad but many people suffer from far worse than me and aren’t lucky enough to have a stable home, family and job etc.

I do know what angrymum means. I think my health is okay, but I do have a number of chronic conditions. I am always taken aback when someone says they have one of my illnesses and are disabled and chronically ill. It tends to be people who do not have any experience of more serious ill health.

In my job I am privy to people’s health conditions. I do find that people like yourself are the ones that are far less likely to make a song and dance about their health. I am often amazed at how well they handle their condition and continue to live a full life. It’s the ones who are fit and healthy but fixated on a mild symptom that has been thoroughly investigated that I find I judge.

I see patients who have incredibly “brittle” health but refuse to let it take over. They may be taking 20 or more heavy duty medications but are always “fine” when you enquire.
I think that there are two types of people, those that love life, whatever it throws at them and those that are constantly looking for reasons to be miserable, centre of attention or an excuse.
Like you I have chronic pain, take nine different meds to get through the day, although I rarely take painkillers. I’m lucky that I have been able to retire early so I don’t need half a pack of painkillers to get through the day. I also have a brilliant GP who is open to using different approach to treating chronic back pain ( a major problem in my profession).

Chronic health problems are difficult to manage. There is often no cure and I’ve found it easier to accept and accommodate rather than let it rule my life. There are lots of things I can no longer do but I’ve found other ways to enjoy life. I suppose I am just an eternal optimist. And very lucky that I’m still here.

My husband hates my chronic condition. I don't talk about it, the walking stick and gait gives it away. He's so angry refusing to be my carer yesterday because I asked him to take the bins out. He has been so used to me doing all the housework, chopping logs and carrying them in. He resents any changes to our lifestyle.

Yesterday he said I was ready for dignitas. If I ever got cancer he'd leave me I think

"I manage perfectly well so should you", eh?

In Mumsnet speak, you have a husband problem ❤️

Beat him to it, leave him. You're managing perfectly well on your own but now you won't have to clean up after him!

It's impossible to do any work while suffering with a migraine headache. I very occasionally get optical migraines. I can't see anything and just need to lie down till they pass. When my sight returns to normal I am left suffering an excruciating headache that over the counter pain medication doesn't help. Apart from these I am known as a hard working reliable person.

Oh no. How horrible. What a rotten thing to say.