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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we are becoming a country of hypochondriacs?

485 replies

YellowTulips25 · 29/01/2025 08:51

Firstly, let me preface this by saying that I entirely sympathise with people who have to live with serious long-term medical conditions. I don't wish to downplay illness or disabilities - visible or hidden - at all.

However, does anyone else feel like we're rapidly becoming a country of hypochondriacs, where an increasing number of people let seemingly minor health issues dominate their life?

For example, an article on the BBC this week features a woman who talks about having 'chronic pain, migraines and travel sickness' as reasons why it's impossible for her to work in an office. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

I think most of us suffer from aches and pains and headaches from time to time? What'd happen if we all started using this excuse?

And I know plenty of friends who always seem to have some ailment or other troubling them, whether it's being in pain, being tired, having a cough or cold, etc etc. It seems almost as if constantly being ill is part of their personality, a badge of honour?

I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but surely I can't be the only one to feel like rolling my eyes at some people's lack of resilience?

A woman with grey hair is stood centre frame. She has a solemn impression on her face and is wearing a grey turtle neck and light blue coat. She is stood in the woods.

Working from home criticism sparks anger: 'We are not lazy'

Hundreds of BBC readers disagreed with former Asda boss Lord Rose's view that working from home is "not proper work".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9x0819417o

OP posts:
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BeQuirkyBalonz · 29/01/2025 15:23

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MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 29/01/2025 15:28

PandoraSox · 29/01/2025 12:26

Another goady as fuck thread by a brand new poster who then buggers off.

MN sinks lower everyday.

What an unpleasant thread. Think I’m now going to read Daily Mail readers’ comments sections for more balanced viewpoints

Miley1967 · 29/01/2025 15:29

I think most people's resilience to deal with anything much is low. People just go off sick at the drop of a hat at my workplace, can't cope with any kind of family illness, go off with stress etc.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 29/01/2025 15:29

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 14:59

You said people with the same condition get different awards. Well obviously they do as conditions effect everyone differently

In addition assessors seem to have different criteria and perceptions depending on the day and are rarely medically qualified.

Plenty of reports available online where outright lies are reported too.

I have supported a friend at an appeals tribunal and facing three bureaucrats across what feels like a court room setting is daunting in any situation never mind if you are vulnerable and know your whole living situation is dependent on the outcome.

It makes me laugh (bitterly) when you compare the costs of appeals and tribunals and the amount of money offered to claimants being quibbled over.

@bumpitybumper

None of the systems put in place to support the vulnerable and marginalised economically have been instigated to "be kind". Cost / benefit analysis will have determined that it is politically and economically expedient. Historically some of the reasons include avoiding the possibility of bloody revolution after WW2 and to ensure a healthier army in the event of further conflict.

Telling me not to direct my ire at the state is pretty patronising when I have continually come across state sanctioned persecution via pure mismanagement and bureaucracy. Issues which could be resolved in one or two phone calls being passed like hot potatoes round multiple agencies and departments and taking weeks. When a decision is reached, any required action takes weeks and weeks again.

Systems need an overhaul and farming it all out to technology is not the answer either - complex situations aren't covered and need human oversight, especially where people have communication difficulties or due to age and isolation are unable to navigate apps and websites which are also prone to glitching and crashing.

I can't remember the exact number, but there are thousands of deaths where falling through the cracks of the system has been identified as a major factor.

People go on about "their money" and "their taxes" and forget money is simply a bartering tool that has been hijacked and leveraged for greed and power. You buy a house - you think you own it once the mortgage is paid off? Very few people own the freehold or land it's built on so it still isn't entirely "yours". And if you happen to need care in your dotage it gets sucked back into the system and redistributed again paying for it.

We're all playing an economic game - I suppose if money is more important than life now, we've crossed a rubicon. And so be it. But there's plenty who won't go down without a fight for themselves and on behalf of others.

As for poor indebted gubmints, well, if the state's officials and geopolitical influencers can't manage the economy I do blame them, because obviously they're directing their efforts in the wrong directions - usually into their own back pockets, vanity projects and keeping their chums in power and corrections sweet. So I do point a finger of blame at them, not some poor sod who is frightened their couple of hundred a month that pays for their food or heating is going to be swiped away while MPs enjoy subsidised bars, restaurants and second homes.

GoldOrca · 29/01/2025 15:31

YouOKHun · 29/01/2025 15:15

"The one that frustrates me is 'I've got anxiety' as if it's a medical diagnosis and verging on a disability. A convenient excuse to opt out of things they don't fancy doing.
This is not a pop at people who are actually ill, diagnosed and being treated, I think statements like this actually devalue their experiences."

@MrsDefrost I know you're not having a pop at people who are actually ill and you're defining "actually ill" as having an official diagnosis and receiving treatment, but how do you know which people who say they "have anxiety" are flakey people and which are people who are concealing enduring debilitating mental health problems that can look very much like they're just being flakey and making excuses to avoid things, who don't receive a psychiatric diagnosis and who can't access treatment?

But my point is how do you know who is "faking it"?
It seems to me like the thinking is - one person might be faking so we think it's OK to tar everyone with the same brush??
Sorry, I think I may have quoted the wrong person here! I'm not going to give an excuse, in case it adds more fuel to the fire... but I'm not having a go at you, only who you quoted

GoldOrca · 29/01/2025 15:32

Miley1967 · 29/01/2025 15:29

I think most people's resilience to deal with anything much is low. People just go off sick at the drop of a hat at my workplace, can't cope with any kind of family illness, go off with stress etc.

Again, HOW DO YOU KNOW?? You don't know how they feel, or what is going on in their lives. So you do not know if it's "at the drop of a hat"

MigGril · 29/01/2025 15:32

BigSilly · 29/01/2025 10:19

If you think you could work through your migraine, you haven't got one!

I really hate it when people say this. Actually a lot of people with chronic migraine do work through a migraine.

How, we'll they are often on preventative medication that reduces the severity off them, also taking rescue medication helps and then you can sort off carry on. Also when you have that level of pain regularly you become more accustomed to it and learn to work through a certain pain level.

When I only had occasional migraine yes one would totally floor me, but with chronic migraine I sometimes can carry on as it's a normal state, I've become more used to. It's not pleasant and I don't believe I'm giving my best work at all but it is possible.

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 29/01/2025 15:34

MigGril · 29/01/2025 15:32

I really hate it when people say this. Actually a lot of people with chronic migraine do work through a migraine.

How, we'll they are often on preventative medication that reduces the severity off them, also taking rescue medication helps and then you can sort off carry on. Also when you have that level of pain regularly you become more accustomed to it and learn to work through a certain pain level.

When I only had occasional migraine yes one would totally floor me, but with chronic migraine I sometimes can carry on as it's a normal state, I've become more used to. It's not pleasant and I don't believe I'm giving my best work at all but it is possible.

It's not just the pain though, is it? I will lose vision, sometimes black out, vomit, get numbness in limbs, etc. I've had various medications, and most of them do not help at best, and make matters worse at worst. I'm under a neurologist but so far no luck finding anything that works.

Could you work through all that? The OP made out like a migraine is just a headache, but it's not.

BeQuirkyBalonz · 29/01/2025 15:35

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GoldOrca · 29/01/2025 15:36

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No, the poster said "people go off sick at the drop of a hat" - how does she know this? I'll bet you she doesn't, and is making unfair assumptions.

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 15:37

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 29/01/2025 15:34

It's not just the pain though, is it? I will lose vision, sometimes black out, vomit, get numbness in limbs, etc. I've had various medications, and most of them do not help at best, and make matters worse at worst. I'm under a neurologist but so far no luck finding anything that works.

Could you work through all that? The OP made out like a migraine is just a headache, but it's not.

Edited

I'm waiting to go on ajovy have you tried or been offered this. I tried pizotifen didn't work, topiramate made me suicidal, sumatriptan is OK but it's hard because am only allowed 10 a month

BeQuirkyBalonz · 29/01/2025 15:38

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Lourdes12 · 29/01/2025 15:39

If you work from home with chronic pain you can lay down when you need to or even lay down with your lap top. You cannot do this in an office. Migraines can be very debilitating and can present in various ways such a paralysis, unable to speak, unable to walk, vomiting, drooping face, hallucinations, etc. Imagine getting a migraine attack at work and not being able to lay down or get home. Migraine medicin doesn't work for all types of migraines. Some people cannot tolerate travel sickness medicin as it makes them even more nauseous. This women definitely have valid reasons to not work in an office. People who don't suffer from these issues just don't get the severity of it and tend to down play it

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 29/01/2025 15:39

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 15:37

I'm waiting to go on ajovy have you tried or been offered this. I tried pizotifen didn't work, topiramate made me suicidal, sumatriptan is OK but it's hard because am only allowed 10 a month

Yeah, it was working for me for a while, but then it suddenly stopped being effective. So, back to the drawing board. I hope you have more luck with it, I know it can be a gamechanger for some!

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 15:41

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 29/01/2025 15:39

Yeah, it was working for me for a while, but then it suddenly stopped being effective. So, back to the drawing board. I hope you have more luck with it, I know it can be a gamechanger for some!

Thankyou I really hope so my neurologist has said he's going to fastrack it for me. I hope you find something that works for you as I know how debilitating it is xx

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 29/01/2025 15:42

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 15:41

Thankyou I really hope so my neurologist has said he's going to fastrack it for me. I hope you find something that works for you as I know how debilitating it is xx

Thank you!

RafaistheKingofClay · 29/01/2025 15:45

BobbiJo · 29/01/2025 14:31

Oh yes.
Cause poverty would alleviate all the illness symptoms.. not make them worse at all.

I hope to god people that hold this opinion fall fowl of an illness.. because nothing will change your tunes faster than experiencing the life of those you look down on..

Got to the point on MN where I sincerely hope some of these posters do fall ill. Might wake them up a bit.

Lourdes12 · 29/01/2025 15:46

If we want people in employment, we need to support them with suitable working environment instead of being bullies

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 15:47

Lourdes12 · 29/01/2025 15:46

If we want people in employment, we need to support them with suitable working environment instead of being bullies

Yes 👏👏👏👏

GoldOrca · 29/01/2025 15:48

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But why assume this as the default? You're now calling people you have never even met a faker. Why?

Anonym00se · 29/01/2025 15:49

I think that a lot of people often run to the GPs too quickly and expect a magic wand to be waved, but won’t take responsibility for their own health.

My DB is quite severely overweight. He has problems with his back and knees. He’s always complaining that his GP won’t refer him to a specialist. I’ve told him that if he loses weight, his doctor might be prepared to refer him but his pain is probably from lugging round all that extra weight so he needs to do something about it.

It’s interesting that his first thought is “What medical condition am I suffering from?” rather than looking at how changes to his diet and lifestyle could solve his problems.

OliveOil2 · 29/01/2025 15:49

Imagine being increasingly fed up of hearing friends health concerns. 😐
I feel sympathetic and concerned when I hear about people I care about having an ailment, whether acute or chronic. Do you think you might have a bias towards hearing what you want hear, to affirm your own beliefs, is it just easier for you to blame them for their own ailments? Is it easier for you not to believe them? Very convenient for you to not actually task yourself to feel sympathy and question what is happening. Try doing your own thinking.

HollyBerryz · 29/01/2025 15:50

I don't know anyone like that. Is your circle particularly bad for it for some reason?

I also think covid may play a part in a genuine upturn of physical healthiness

MigGril · 29/01/2025 15:50

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 29/01/2025 15:34

It's not just the pain though, is it? I will lose vision, sometimes black out, vomit, get numbness in limbs, etc. I've had various medications, and most of them do not help at best, and make matters worse at worst. I'm under a neurologist but so far no luck finding anything that works.

Could you work through all that? The OP made out like a migraine is just a headache, but it's not.

Edited

I have chronic migraine and do work through some off them. It totally depends on what symptoms I get with each one. Without any working preventative medication last year I was getting uncontrolled pain and vomiting along with numbness and pain down my right side. So was off sick.

With a preventative that works I don't get vomiting, I still get flashing lights (which only.last a short time) numbness and pain down my whole right side. But triptains mostly work for me and with painkillers as well I can often stay at work.
I couldn't do that without a preventative medication that works though and ive been through a lot even botox which stopped working. Now taking Atogepant which is the best thing I've ever taken.

justasking111 · 29/01/2025 15:52

My ailments are boring so I don't share them. They annoy my husband no end to start with.