Can your husband cook without a big fuss?

[Oyoh]

For example could he make a roast dinner and sticky toffee puddding without trashing the kitchen, pestering you for help/asking where things were and without losing his cool?

Yes, thank God as I HATE cooking.

Unfortunately due to work patterns, it's often me who does have to cook hence why we have standard meals I can prep in the slow cooker or make within 30 mins.

No. Trashes beyond belief.

Yes, he can roast and make dinner. He is a far tidier cook than me. Baking isn't really his thing but if I asked he'd give it a go and I am sure it would be lovely. He did used to work in commerical kitchens though. Mostly thought I do all the cooking because I like cooking and I hate cleaning up. Cooking is my happy place!

Yes - it ebbs and flows over the course of the year but at the moment it’s my busy time at work and his quiet time so he’s making probably 5/7 evening meals, and also makes the odd cake or batch of biscuits. He also plans the meals and will buy ingredients although I tend to do the big shop. It’s very nice change from my ex, where we started 50/50 and ended up with me doing every damn thing.

Without fuss? Yes
Without every pan and utensil while trashing the kitchen which he will actually clear up (to his own barely adequate standards) No

ExH: no. Late dx ASD (aged 60). Both my teens are also ASD so I'm aware of issues this can cause re interoception ('am I hungry?'), sequencing ('did I buy food / what ingredients / recipe') etc.
But, also weaponised incompetence:
I'd leave food for him & toddlers & he'd 'forget' to give it to them/ text 10 times to ask 'how to make a sandwich?' if I tried to have an evening out. He clearly isn't starving living by himself now. My girl ASD teen cooked a full breakfast for me on my Birthday. My boy teen is less likely to try but will be 'trained up' soon as he needs to be able to cook for himself & it's a skill ge needs to learn.

My DH can and does cook from time to time, generally simple dishes. Does it without making a fuss or using all the dishes

He would struggle with a roast dinner or sticky toffee pudding, due to lack of experience. Most people get better with practice

Absolutely. I had an absolute pig of a day yesterday and DH simply made me a cup of tea and took over making dinner. For some of the things I cook he would have to refer to a recipe book but he is a very good cook and makes fantastic cakes. He also clears up more efficiently than I do.

Yes. He does virtually all of the cooking anyway so knows where everything is.

When I see the responses to threads like these I wonder how husbands that can’t cook managed to survive the period between leaving home and getting married.

Yes, mine does pretty much all the cooking (and cleaning up). He's a fantastic cook, he did Christmas dinner for 12 last month. I detest cooking so I'd be the one losing my cool if I had to do it. I like baking though so I usually do cakes/desserts etc.

When I met him he was but I do all the cooking now and have been for nearly 18 years. I don't mind cooking but I hate tidying up (not that i make a massive mess) so he does that and load the dishwasher.

Pretty sure he could still do something like bangers and mash (or something similar) but it would take bloody ages and I'm too impatient 🤣 but he wouldn't complain if asked.

Mine cooks every night as we like different foods

Absolutely not. Don't get me wrong, he can feed himself, and the family if necessary, but it's not good. And he has the strangest notions about what constitutes a meal. He was brought up to think of it as fuel, and cooking was a necessary evil to his mum. One that messed up her pristine kitchen. I enjoy cooking and taking extra trouble to make food as tasty as possible. So I suppose he feels he can't live up to that. My DC are both decent cooks, and as young adults living at home they take their turn.

Cooking is a confidence thing, baking is a precision (or experience) thing, in my experience.

We can both cook confidently without measurements and recipes because it's something we do all the time. You can chuck things together and make a good meal if you know the very basics. Most dishes can be pretty forgiving.

Baking is chemistry - it relies of the correct proportions and temperatures to work. This means you need to be very experienced to do it by eye and feel or - like most people - you need to measure things and be fairly precise. Some people love that approach, others find it too rigid. I haven't seen a male/female split in that beyond societal expectations.

Mine would happily give it a good bash and he'd do it without complaining or causing a fuss, but the problem would be me peering over his shoulder like an obsessive supervisor 😂 I love cooking though and he doesn't enjoy it so I'd never have a reason to put it to the test. Also I don't think either of us would venture a sticky toffee pudding from scratch which is a shame as it's my favourite 😋

He can cook really well, does a brilliant roast and cleans up after himself but it does take a lot longer than if I were cooking. No idea why really. However, I would rather that than have a DH who did very little cooking or cleaning up after himself.

My DH never cooks...if I don't cook for him, he heats up frozen food. This suits me as I don't work and enjoy cooking. I don't think he could make what you described at all. If he could, he would clear up though

Dh has got better since he retired, he wasn’t home enough before.
He doesn’t make complicated meals, however he can make stew, the best ham, egg and chips and any simple meat and two veg meals. His pastry is amazing and he also makes a brilliant Dundee cake.
He’s much tidier in the kitchen than me, I’m awful and I try really hard to tidy as I go.

DH makes the most amazing roast pork with juniper. He'd buy a sticky toffee pudding though rather than make it from scratch.

Probably like me when DH is away with work - I'd happily live off cereal, bagels and eggs and probably will when the kids have left home!

Dh is a brilliant cook but he doesn't half make a mess. He will clean up after himself though.

Not at all. Couldn’t meal plan, decide on a menu, prep OR cook without the kitchen being a bomb site, food getting burnt or ruined, him getting stressed etc.
He has to cook once per week because of my work schedule. I usually either pre make something or get something like fresh pasta/ravioli in.

I used to get very annoyed by it but in time I’ve come to see it’s not lack of willingness and not for lack of trying. It’s just something that makes him feel very stressed and overwhelmed and he more than makes up for it taking on other chores and household stuff instead. He also makes an excellent sandwich/salad so he’s not entirely hopeless.

I’m not sure I could do that tbf 😂

Yep. As I said in my first case - I was happy to be proven wrong! Definitely agree re the cooking = confidence / baking = precision.

I love lists, structure and routine so definitely prefer baking.

DH literally lives life day to day and is the most laid back person ever so baking isn't for him - whereas cooking he definitely his strength!

No. First of all he has to spend ten minutes finding headphones, connecting headphones, finding something to listen to. Then every pot and pan is used, he can't do things like chop an onion, completely inappropriate pans are used for the task, can't think ahead so oven isn't preheated etc. So slow and so much mess. He'll then go on about how delicious it is. He cooks less than once a month