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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I THINK I FINALLY HAD ENOUGH

34 replies

Number40 · 27/01/2025 18:15

For the last 3 days I’m down with what I assume is a flu. I have a temperature, cold chills, nausea, extreme fatigue, I’ve been bedridden for the last 48h, sleeping basically nonstop and feeling like this is closest to coma I could get. Every trip to the toilet was climbing an Everest. Today is the first day I can actually function a bit. I can sit down instead of laying down, still can’t walk or stand more than a few seconds and HE has the fxking audacity tell me today to go and cook DS (4) some noodles and when I said that I physically can’t he said that I HAVE ZERO MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES?! If I wasn’t so fatigued and weak I would seriously stab him in the ribs!!

Not much of a drip feed - he’s the type that thinks everything is my fault, I do everything wrong. DS loves him so much but seriously I can’t do this anymore

OP posts:
TallNeckedGiraffe · 27/01/2025 18:16

Is he the father of your child?

Shouldbedoing · 27/01/2025 18:17

Get yourself better then get shot of him. He's supposed to have your back

Number40 · 27/01/2025 18:18

TallNeckedGiraffe · 27/01/2025 18:16

Is he the father of your child?

Yes he is

OP posts:
Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

MissUltraViolet · 27/01/2025 18:20

Hope you’re feeling better soon OP…so you can pack his bags for him.

Fencehedge · 27/01/2025 18:22

Tell him to shove the noodles up his arse and prepare for divorce.

Fencehedge · 27/01/2025 18:22

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Why can't the fucking father pull his finger out?!

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 27/01/2025 18:23

Yes, definitely sounds like the flu OP, and while I normally wouldn't wish that on anyone, I'm afraid I'd be giving a round of applause if you came back and said that your DP/DH has gone down with it, it would serve him bloody well right! What a selfish person he is! He's the one with zero morals if he doesn't step up and feed your child while you're this sick, even if he's not the father. What an arsehole! Hope you get shot of him as soon as you're better, ideally while he's suffering the flu!

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:24

@Fencehedge I thought perhaps he might be an ex who doesn’t live with them, if that is not the case then absolutely he should be looking
after him.

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 27/01/2025 18:24

Now you've said he's the child's father, I'm even more appalled at his attitude toward you OP! And in the words of my FIL, I hope his balls fester and never drop off!!

SoScarletItWas · 27/01/2025 18:25

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Could you get a female family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Thats what you meant, isn’t it? Because otherwise the child has been starved for four days as heaven forbid his actual father might have to feed him.

AwaitingFreedom · 27/01/2025 18:27

HE has the fxking audacity tell me today to go and cook DS (4) some noodles

And what was this prince going to be doing instead?

Get yourself better and start planning Flowers

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:28

It doesn’t have to be a female family member or friend at all, it just sounded as though he didn’t live there, I agree that he should step up even if he doesn’t live there but I know that there are men who wouldn’t.

I was concerned for the child.

StormingNorman · 27/01/2025 18:29

What a cock.

That sounds like proper flu and you should be resting as much as you can. HE should be making you both lunch.

What an absolute fucking cock. What about his moral responsibilities to his wife and child!

Put this on the back burner until you feel better and then make some decisions about how you deal with this.

Dror · 27/01/2025 18:33

Who is he; boyfriend/husband? Your kid will love him even if you two aren't together anymore, presumably the man will be parenting the child.
You clearly both hate each other, so just start the divorce/dumping once you're well again. Life is for enjoying.

Hillrunning · 27/01/2025 18:39

The bit that is annoying me most is that it doesn't even make sense. Zero moral responsibilities? Zero moral quandaries or zero moral standards might work (though would presumably still be untrue)

Number40 · 27/01/2025 18:41

DS has absolutely not been starved, it’s been just 3 days. He made him some porridge which he loves ( because the pot was still dirty in the sink since Saturday/Sunday! ) had some fish fingers, fruit ( pear skins on the kitchen floor not picked up), half an egg shell near the bin. I feel like he does it as some kinda of a chore not because he’s his child.
TBH emotionally i checked out a while ago just these two days I guess really opened my eyes who he really is when I needed him the most.

OP posts:
HipToTheHopDontStop · 27/01/2025 19:06

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Are you actually high? Like, seriously?

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 19:29

@Number40 I am really sorry now you have clarified that your ‘D’ P is indeed in the same house. He is a dreadful father and he should be utterly ashamed that he has treated you like this.

I hope you feel better soon 💐

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 27/01/2025 19:33

If this is completely out of character, brought on by stress of managing DS for a few days on his own when he’s not used to it, and he apologises profusely, I’d probably get over it. However, I strongly suspect this is not the case and he’s just a dick. Once you get rid of the virus I suggest getting rid of the man too.

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 27/01/2025 19:37

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 27/01/2025 18:23

Yes, definitely sounds like the flu OP, and while I normally wouldn't wish that on anyone, I'm afraid I'd be giving a round of applause if you came back and said that your DP/DH has gone down with it, it would serve him bloody well right! What a selfish person he is! He's the one with zero morals if he doesn't step up and feed your child while you're this sick, even if he's not the father. What an arsehole! Hope you get shot of him as soon as you're better, ideally while he's suffering the flu!

Yes, cough all over him. Give the tosser the lurge.

sky1267 · 27/01/2025 19:45

Go with your gut

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 27/01/2025 19:50

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare?

Perhaps he could look after the child then? Since he’s the father?

FOJN · 27/01/2025 19:51

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Perhaps the father could stop acting like a sperm donor and feed his own child if he's that concerned.

Can a family member come and get you so you can go somewhere to recover in peace before you ditch this pitiful excuse for a partner?

ERthree · 27/01/2025 20:00

Evenstar · 27/01/2025 18:19

Who has been looking after your child? I presume there is a back story, but perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare? Could you get a family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Stop trying to find excuses for this knuckle dragging twunt.