I THINK I FINALLY HAD ENOUGH

[Number40]

For the last 3 days I’m down with what I assume is a flu. I have a temperature, cold chills, nausea, extreme fatigue, I’ve been bedridden for the last 48h, sleeping basically nonstop and feeling like this is closest to coma I could get. Every trip to the toilet was climbing an Everest. Today is the first day I can actually function a bit. I can sit down instead of laying down, still can’t walk or stand more than a few seconds and HE has the fxking audacity tell me today to go and cook DS (4) some noodles and when I said that I physically can’t he said that I HAVE ZERO MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES?! If I wasn’t so fatigued and weak I would seriously stab him in the ribs!!

Not much of a drip feed - he’s the type that thinks everything is my fault, I do everything wrong. DS loves him so much but seriously I can’t do this anymore

Leaving the kitchen in a state after his piss poor attempts at feeding your DC makes me despise him all the more on your behalf! Like you need to come downstairs to that mess.

oh yeah, that sounds like flu alright. he should be taking care of you and the child, not the other way around.
if people haven't had it, they think it's a bad cold. it's so much worse than that.
I've got quite a weak chest, and when I got it, I could barely get out of bed for three weeks. the bathroom is literally next to the bedroom, and on one occasion I was weighing up whether wetting the bed or dragging my sorry backside about 6 feet would cause me the most discomfort.
my lovely husband made sure I had everything I needed, and took care of things. because that's what a good partner does when their other half is so miserably ill.

bet he expects you to wait on him hand and foot if he's got so much as a sniffle

You do realize that male human beings are perfectly capable of organizing a meal for a child? Why does anybody but the husband need to do this?

Flu is absolutely awful. I'm willing to bet that should your delightful OH catch it, you won't see him out of bed for at least a week or two and you'll be expected to do everything of course.

When you're feeling better, please ask on your thread for some practical support for leaving him.

the pot was still dirty in the sink since Saturday/Sunday! ) had some fish fingers, fruit ( pear skins on the kitchen floor not picked up), half an egg shell near the bin

Disgusting.

He sees you as his skivvy. Would give me the ick.

Get rid Op there is not excuse. I have had a kidney infection for the last week and having only 1 kidney it has hit me hard. Dispite having MS my husband has not let me lift a finger. I tried today to do stuff and he just points back to the sofa or send me to bed. He has sorted DD out everyday day for school and cooked her meals. He has been to the shops when I have fancied something different (only twice I have not been ordering him to do this everyday)

the things is Op if anyone praises him he would say he is a husband and a dad and with that comes responsibilities and one of those is to take over when your partner is ill.

What would your other half do if you needed to go into hospital?

Errrmm... I would hope the child's father?

@Number40

You know, sometimes it takes for us to be in the 'depths' before we can clearly see what lies before us. When we are 'normal' (ie not ill, not exhausted, etc) we have emotional mechanisms we put up that 'make everything rosy'. But when we are ill or weak, our usual mechanisms to hide the truth from ourselves don't function and we see the real truth of what's going on in our lives.

The real truth is that he is a prick and you need to leave. These things are true and you know that now to a much deeper degree.

Now, you just have to find your way out. I don't mean tomorrow, but I do mean to seriously make a plan to get out.

What do you think you need to do that? There is a world of wisdom and experience here. Don't be afraid to ask whatever questions you need to ask.