Starting new job while pregnant - What maternity leave length?

[byzanthium]

Hi all,

DH and I are expecting the birth of our first child and I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant. For the last 3 years DH and I have worked together in the same firm, in the same team, both in a similar role (which obviously hasn't been ideal...). This is a small firm and the boss has made it clear he's looking to sell, and has just brought on a new MD to replace him, very much making it look like he's shoring everything up in preperation for selling.

Alongside multiple other issues with the firm (lack of structure, pay inequality, no opportunity to progress etc), we've just taken on a rather large mortgage for our family home, and given the instability with the firm, we decided we couldn't go any longer having both our eggs in one basket, so I've been looking around for a new job (not DH as he's happier at the firm than I am).

Given the job market, it's taken me quite a while to find something and I only just managed to get a job offer midway through the month and handed in my notice. Unlike everyone else in the firm who have left (9 people in the last 3 years), the boss has decided he wants me to potentially work out my full 3 month notice period (whereas everyone else only worked 2 weeks - 1 month after their notice). He knows I'm pregnant and he knows that If I stay longer than midway through Feb he'll have to pay my maternity (https://maternityaction.org.uk/advice/rights-for-parents-with-more-than-one-job/). I am trying to negotiate this down with him but he's currently constantly stalling for time and rescheduling meetings or saying he's busy.

BUT the real issue is that no one at the new job offer company know that I'm pregnant. In my previous other job applications I let them know I was pregnant from square one, or just after the offer, and unsurprisingly it's always been silence/ a sudden 'we've actually re-evaluated and we don't need anyone to fill this new position at the moment' (cue it being re-advertised on linkedin 2 days later...) but given the way that the company is going both my DH and I really felt it was necessary for one of us to change jobs for some stability as we wouldn't be able to take the financial hit if the company was bought off and both of us were made redundant. So therefore we decided it'd be best until I started working for my new firm before I let them know I was pregnant.

NB - it's not possible for one of us not to work after maternity as the mortgage + bills is a full one of our salaries. We need at least 1.5 salaries to afford food, let alone anything else.

My question is - I know that I'm not exactly fostering any good will by only telling my new employer months/a month before I need to take leave (I've looked at the laws around when you need to tell your employer and I know that's usually around week 26 but given the fact I won't technically be their employee till I start working it seems like I can delay till them) and so therefore I want to take as little leave as possible to impact the business, with my husband filling in the shortgap by me transfering the rest of my leave over to him as Shared Parental Leave. I was planning on taking 3 months off if I followed the trend of the other employees that left and only had to work out a month of my notice period to be considerate to my new employer (ie therefore started my new job in Feb, 4 months before baby is due). But given that now I'm facing the real possibility of only being able to start 1.5 months before my due date, I know the best thing to do in terms of my future relationship with my new employer would be to only take the minimum 2 weeks off and go back to work so it'll really only be like I'm taking a holiday and I distrupt my new team as little as possible. But obviously I'm worried about my physical recovery, as well as the fact that I selfishly want to spend a bit longer with our newborn before going back to work! (and I'm planning on exclusively breastfeeding where possible)

You are being unreasonable - 'It's you who's gone and gotten a new job while pregnant, and so you should be striving to make as little impact as possible on your new role and take off as little time as possible'.

You are NOT being unreasonable - 'you're between a rock and a hard place and taking only 3 months off is already a comprimise, regardless of when you start working for your new organisation'.

TL;DR - My current job is unstable so I needed to find a new job, managed to get one at 22 weeks pregnant but I may only be able to start my new job at 34 weeks pregnant. They don't know I'm pregnant yet. Should I take 3 months off with the baby as it's already a lot less that the full year or should I swalow it and only take off 2 weeks?

Apologies for all the waffle! As you can probably tell I'm quite stressed about this and didn't want to drip feed.

It takes a minimum of 6 weeks to establish breastfeeding, and that's if you don't encounter any problems. It takes a few weeks to stop bleeding.

I would go on maternity leave with 'old' employer and hope for redundancy pay if shit hits the fan before I'm due back.

I’d be upfront with the new employer and treat it more as a discussion of how to approach this rather than dictating I want a minimum of 3 months or promising no longer than 6 weeks.

They might feel they need to secure temporary cover for your role in which case it being a decent length to be able to offer someone else (E.g. 6 months or 12 months) might be simpler than struggling along with no one for 6 weeks / 3 months.

I think you need to accept though that as they can easily get rid of you (with you not having 2 years service) you may end up with no job at all. Is there anything you can do to financially protect yourself for that?

I don’t think people mean to be harsh but I think everyone is just very confused why you think the risk of ending up with no job (through your planned set up) is a more stable option than risking you and your husband being made redundant at your current place of work where you would both presumably get a redundancy pay out?

It's not uncommon in the US because they have an insane dehumanising system. No right to paid mat leave.

This.

from your posts OP. You and your husband do seem spectacularly naive and seem to imagine having a baby is not a whole lot more impacting than a bad stomach flu.

the best advice you can take right now is to retract your notice and turn down the job. Take your mat leave while your husband stays in his job then look for a new role towards the end of your May leave.
worse case scenario you get made redundant while on mat leave. Take the pay out and look for a new job when you’re ready.

i can’t fathom why either of you thought the best option was for one of you to get a new job while pregnant. Could you not just suck it up job wise until you finish ?

I agree with the PPs who have suggested approaching it as a discussion. Explain the predicament and then work with your new employer to resolve it.

They’ll appreciate you giving them as much time as possible to make arrangements for your time off and it may affect how they structure your induction and training.

Hope it all goes well for you!

Hi OP, I would say go 3 months your minimum, but consider 6 or 9 (but as you are sharing the leave 3 might work). Make sure you and DH are both doing frequent skin to skin contact with baby from birth and sharing the load so that none of you are too shell shocked when you start work. Congratulations and good luck with everything. Remember none of us know what we are doing and you'll muddle through. Just put yourself, dh and baby first, everyone else at old company and new company would do the same.

Yanbu. Do you have holiday you could take to shorten your notice period? Having less than 3 months off is not doable IMO.

Op only need to be in her current job for 3 more weeks to get statutory maternity pay. If she is choosing shared parental leave then she needs to give binding notice to shorten her maternity leave in order for her dh to take shared leave. Once this is done you cannot go back on maternity leave so she needs to choose carefully how much leave she is taking.

So you hate your job and have secured new employment which given your situation at the moment is not ideal
Meanwhile your husband 'who is much happier at the firm' is going to take 8 months parental leave to look after baby and then return part time?!
Why didn't you just stick it out, enjoy your 9 months maternity leave and then look for a new job?! What am I missing here??

Hadn't thought of that at all! Didn't realise that people tended to revise their mat leave length. Do you know how much notice you need to hand in for this? I remember reading somewhere it was 8 weeks.

Many do revise their mat leave. Most say they’ll take 9 months, then actually take 12. They then use their annual leave accrued over the last year and use it to do three or four day weeks to give them maximum time with their baby. I think your employer will spit their coffee out in shock when they hear you want to return to the job after six weeks. If they are a female or indeed a parent I think they will take that with a pinch of salt.

Double check this but I think you can go on mat leave 11 weeks before baby is due so why don't you go on mat leave with current job next week?

You do need to tell the new job as soon as you have your contract

Plan to take at least three months off with the new baby.

You will just about be feeling human again by then, if everything goes well.

In my experience (not just opinion) it is completely doable. (Obviously there may be circumstances where this wouldn't be possible, but that is a small minority.)

My paid maternity leave was 6 weeks, and physically I could easily have gone back at that point, even after a pretty traumatic birth (episiotomy, forceps). I was lucky to be able to take another 2 weeks unpaid leave so I went back when my baby was 8 weeks old. It wasn't a physically demanding job, but it was a full time position which also involved commuting for two and a half hours a day.

Where I live this is completely normal, so I didn't feel like I did anything exceptional. Because I didn't.

Where do you live out of interest? USA?

I'm in the U.K. I went back to work full time after 2 months after a planned C-section. It was completely do'able although it probably helped that we had a nanny.

Yes

Absolutely! Ideal - maybe not. But certainly (under normal circumstances) doable.

I would have had 8 weeks paid leave instead of 6 if I'd had a C section.

It’s absolute madness to only take off 2 weeks

id have stayed put, taken maternity and job hunted while off on maternity

Retract your notice!! Quit while on mat leave

this is all bonkers

Absolutely this!

Hello all, just wanted to issue a quick update in case anyone is following. Thankfully, an end date of the start of Feb was agreed. I'm sending the new employer an email this Saturday after my 24 week appt on Friday (where I get my MAT B1 form) telling them I am pregnant, and plan to take only 3 months off (but am flexible if they'd like me to take longer off for maternity cover purposes).

Thank you with all your help with this :)

Good luck with your pregnancy and the new job, hope it goes good for you