To think that people who arrive early are as annoying as people who arrive late?

[6079SmithW]

Just that really. Don’t arrive early. I won’t be ready!

I don’t want to visit you either…

God I used to hate it when people arrived early for meetings. Rather than take a seat in reception until nearer the time they’d phone up which meant I had to collect them, find somewhere for them to sit if the meeting room wasn’t already in use (which it often was) and make them a coffee.

Arriving 10-15 mins early to my house wouldn’t bother me. Anything more than that would. I’m an early person myself so if someone was supposed to be coming at 1 I’d be ready myself from about 12.30 anyway.

I did once though have a friend who I had arranged to go for lunch with. We had a meeting point of the restaurant at 1pm. It was 10 minutes walk from my house. About half an hour from her. At fucking 11am she was ringing my doorbell. I wasn’t even dressed yet! Her reasoning was she was bored and thought she’d just come to mine early and chill seeing as I was close to the place anyway. This sort of thing pisses me off. If you want that to be the plan, organise that first! Don’t just turn up!!!

Quite - about 10 mins late (to give your host chance to do the things they thought they'd have time to do like brush their hair or put on makeup) but not much later than that and certainly never early.

Exceptions: when there's a deadline such as a flight to catch, or when meeting in public (when you can go to the table early or sit in the bar etc.). Other than that, walk round the block, sit in the car or find something else to do for a bit.

this is interesting.
My brother used to interview young people/school leavers for an intern type position.
One time he arrived at the office and there was a young man sitting quietly in reception, very early. He asked him why he was so early and he said, well, the next train only gave me 10 minutes before the interview and I didn't want to risk being late. The train before got in 1.5 hours early.
He was young, had no money to sit in a cafe and was keen to make a good impression.

My brother thought it showed a good attidtude and it was a real plus for him in the interview process.

How rude.

Your host is likely to be BUSY, not disorganised, and ready at the agreed time.
If they wanted your help, or waste even more time making you a drink, they would have invited you earlier.

Agreed! I’m a “no motivation to get things done until there’s a deadline” person so if you’re early I’ll still be tidying the house or getting myself ready. I won’t appreciate you arriving early, please don’t do it.

You see, there’s a perfect example of the rudeness and devaluing of someone else’s time which comes with being early ‘You should be ready early in order to accommodate my earliness, if not you’re disorganised’.

That’s far ruder than someone arriving 10 minutes after an agreed time (unless you were only seeing them for 10 minutes anyway).

You know I also host people? I’m always ready half an hour before so I’m not flustered when people arrive. Needing to rush around doing things just minutes before you’ve asked people to be there is disorganised in my book.

Well the young man did the right thing. It’s when they phone up and expect to be collected anyway that early arrivers are a nuisance.

You do realise you must be a massive annoyance to everyone who invites you?
They'll likely invite you later than they plan, to manage your lack of manners and early arrival times 😂

It's rude to arrive early. 5 or 10 minutes is OK but no more.

Well so do early birds because they’re assuming they’re host is ready for them.

@cardibach

In your opinion. I don’t think earliness is anything like as rude as lateness. Or rude at all as long is it’s not more than about 10-15 mins.

But you've stated in an earlier post that you are always ready for your guests half an hour before the stated arrival time. Most people don't do this. If I've asked someone round for 5 pm then at 4.30 I'm sorting out bits of food and at 4.45 I'm getting changed and brushing my hair. I don't want people turning up whilst I'm red faced and scruffy, and nor do I want to be sitting there for half an hour twiddling my thumbs as I'm ready early.

I guess we all get used to our own friends and family and who is an early bird, who is late, and get ourselves sorted accordingly. I think it's a bit different if someone is on public transport and they should let their host know if their planned bus gets them there 10 minutes early.

you have a leisurely life, good for you.

I absolutely plan to do things for 10 minutes and not waste my time waiting around like a lemon.

It's basic manners to arrive around 10 minutes later for a start, I don't really enjoy rude people.

no. There’s no actual need for the person to be completely done. If someone early is invited to my house they are my friend. They’ll be ok with me saying ‘just get yourself a glass of wine and sit there for a minute while I finish up’. But in reality I’ll be finished anyway as I think aiming to be ready the precise second you asked people to be there is uncomfortably disorganised. Things go wrong and take a few more minutes than you thought.

I do now, as it happens. I didn’t always. But if I’ve asked people to arrive at 7 I wouldn’t aim to be ready at 7. That’s flustering and chaotic. I’d aim for 6.30. If I didn’t think 6.30 was practical due to work/children/whatever I’d issue the invitation for 7.30.
To me, arriving late is very rude.

If I had a visitor arriving by public transport, I'd arrange the time by when the bus/train arrived, not half an hour later

If you arrive 10 minutes early, there's 50% chance I won't even be in the house anyway, but using that time to pick up a child, give the dog a last walk.

YOU having all the time in the world to faff around doesn't mean the people you are visiting are the same, again, people are busy.

Being early is just rude.

I really dislike lateness, so I always give myself plenty of time to get anywhere, meaning I am always early.

If going to someone house I'd wait in the car until the agreed time, before knocking on the door.

I once gave myself 45 minutes extra before a job interview and got lost searching for the office, only to arrive 10 minutes before time. Conversely I have had people turn up at that same place for an interview 25 minutes late as they couldn't find it!

If I am going to a job interview I'd wait until 10 minutes before the agreed time to go to reception.

If I am meeting friends/date I'd wait until the agreed time, then let them know I'd arrived, if they weren't already there.

I never go so early as to try and force myself on someone else's time.

I used to have a friend who said she found it stressful that I was always on time, as it put pressure on her. No idea what she thought the purpose of agreeing specific times to meet was 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

being late is rude, but the 10mn delay is most basic manner, it's not "late".

If I ask people to be there at 7, I plan to be home at 7, not at 6:30!

Depends what you mean by early 5/10 minutes fine. 2 hours not fine

Agreed. Someone arrived at the venue for my little girls birthday party before us (we were arriving early to set up) because it was little johnnys nap time towards the end of the party and they would be leaving early so she wanted to make sure he had 2 full hours there. Bonkers.

what does wind me up is the GP receptionists who get really frosty when you arrive on time (2 or 3 minutes before your appointment, so really on time!), but you always wait 20 minutes at least to see a doctor 😂

I am afraid I am an early bird! I am normally the one that holds seats for the others. However . when they do arrive on time I am about to blow a gasket! I just hate being late and using public transport you have to be ready for such things as diversions, late buses, road ups (can never remember what you call them!!) etc etc. I really really hate being late. One of our friends is always late. She won't get transport until after 9am so she can use her free pass.