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Original poster

If you could go back and do things differently, would you? And what would you change?

101 replies

thecherryfox · 26/01/2025 17:14

I know there are so many lovely people on here of different ages, and I’m just curious about your lives. Is there anything you wish you done differently that would have changed the outcome of your life? I believe every choice we make leads to another path and another path off of that one and so on -so if we didn’t make the initial choice (no matter how small) of one path, it wouldn’t have led to the end result. So, is there anything you would have changed and in what way would your life be different than it is now?

OP posts:
UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 26/01/2025 17:15

I would go back just over a year and resolve things with my ex partner.

Sunshineclouds11 · 26/01/2025 17:16

Agree to the date with the man I actually want.
Finish it with my ex as soon as the flags started to show.

tilypu · 26/01/2025 17:26

I wouldn't change any major decisions I've made, because I wouldn't change anything significant in my life.

I wouldn't get involved with the man I met online, as I really feel for him, and it turned out he was married. I was only with him for three months till I found out.

I would avoid the food I ate while abroad that made me unwell.

I wouldn't buy the clothes that I never wore (there aren't many items that fall into this category).

I might move to where I now live sooner - but only if I knew I would be just as happy as I am now.

2petrabbits · 26/01/2025 17:27

Advocate for myself earlier

notatinydancer · 26/01/2025 17:27

Would have gone to uni at 18
Lived abroad
Not got married
Not had kids

Titasaducksarse · 26/01/2025 17:32

Moved abroad

Flicitytricity · 26/01/2025 17:33

notatinydancer · 26/01/2025 17:27

Would have gone to uni at 18
Lived abroad
Not got married
Not had kids

Snap😆

Renovationhell · 26/01/2025 17:37

I would have bought the lovely new build I intended to and not a house that has sunk me thousands of pounds with no end in sight. I hate that my DC have had less holidays and days out because I’ve spent it on heating, stopping leaks and windows.

I also would have travelled more pre kids, adventured more.

I also would have stayed in with my friendship group more. I feel like I drifted to the edge a bit by constantly declining meet ups (due to kids and finances!) now it’s hard to get that closeness back. My friends have a lot of shared experiences I don’t share which makes me feel excluded.

Overall though I wouldn’t change many decisions. I feel like all the bad has lead me to where I am now.

Playmobil4Eva · 26/01/2025 17:37

I would’ve started saving money earlier!

blackbird77 · 26/01/2025 17:40

I wish I had taken care of my body/figure/health/fitness more in my twenties and early-thirties. I’m in my late thirties now and am paying the price.

wastingtimeonhere · 26/01/2025 17:40

notatinydancer · 26/01/2025 17:27

Would have gone to uni at 18
Lived abroad
Not got married
Not had kids

same...always my biggest mistakes and regrets. Listening to others..you aren't clever enough, travel is dangerous.

Echobelly · 26/01/2025 17:42

I used to wish I had got into doing the student newspaper when I was at uni so I might have had a better shot at working in journalism, but TBH seeing how journalism has now become even harder to sustain a career in, maybe not!

TrixieFatell · 26/01/2025 17:45

No. There's a relationship I stayed in longer then I should but i wouldn't be where I am today if I'd have left him. I like where I am in life, I've travelled, I've married and had kids and I'm in a job I love.i would have liked not to have lost the family I have but that was out of my control.

Tinyhands · 26/01/2025 17:47

I would have insisted DH get his prostate checked when he started to have problems peeing instead of assuming if there was a cancer risk the doctors would suggest he should have a test 😥

MrsSethGecko · 26/01/2025 17:50

I made some shocking decisions, in hindsight. The worst was giving a much older man a chance because I hadn't had any luck with men my age- and he ended up grooming me, if you can call it that, into prostitution and then tried to kill me when I got too old for him.

But, if I hadn't gone through that and the (fucking horrible) aftermath, I wouldn't live where I do now, and wouldn't have my daughter and my little dog. And I love them so much that there's no universe in which I wouldn't want them to be part of my life.

So I wish it hadn't happened, but I wouldn't change it.

menopausalmare · 26/01/2025 17:50

I wish I'd got a grip of my weight in my early teens.

Scaredtosayitoutloud · 26/01/2025 17:53

We are all a product of our experiences in life, good and bad. We learn and grow, even from the bad, but you can do it quickly or slowly.

My main regrets come from waiting...if you know it's wrong, change it. Inertia and laziness are my downfall.

But that's easy to say. If I had not lived my life but had actually written the novels or screenplays I said I wanted to, would I be J.K. Rowling now?

MargaretThursday · 26/01/2025 17:54

Call out the bullies every time
Failing that, write down and record every time they did something.

Ribenaberry12 · 26/01/2025 17:57

I would have prioritised what I wanted and moved house years ago. We hung on where we were cos the kids were doing various things and it was easier for them that we stayed put but, in hindsight, they were young adults, they’d have worked it out if we’d have moved.

I’d have cut some family members off in my teens when I became aware for myself that they didn’t care about me. Instead, I hung on til my 40s by which point I felt I had had years of humiliation trying to forge relationships that they just didn’t want.

II’d have got into something like dance or athletics or swimming when I was younger that would have kept me in good shape now and not prone to a bit of chub.

A’la Helen Mirren I’d have told more people to fuck off.

SnowyintheATL · 26/01/2025 18:00

Wish I’d followed my gut more

not let my DM influence my decisions (which affected almost everything in my life)

answered that one phone call…

my life would’ve taken a whole different path and probably would’ve been better since it’s been pretty shit most of my life

LaPalmaLlama · 26/01/2025 18:01

No because you don't know what else you'd change and generally things have turned out ok. I could go back and do something really innocuous like break up with someone in a nicer way or not start dating someone in the first place, but then it could change both our lives for the worse in the long run just because we'd both be on a different track.

RunningJo · 26/01/2025 18:15

I’d have worked harder at school, got a career, lived alone for a while

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 26/01/2025 18:16

I would have learnt to ski - love the idea of going to the Alps with the beautiful people (which l am not!), skiiing and apres ski sounds wonderful.
Saying that l am a very low risk taker and quite clumsy so probably did myself a favour!

ginasevern · 26/01/2025 18:17

Just about everything, apart from a few "epochs" of enormous fun and travel. I didn't grasp that you really do only get one shot at life and I didn't realise how quickly that one shot went. I'd have put my own interests first (instead of last) in so many more situations. All of this has only fully dawned on me since I turned 60. I'm now 67 so a bit late now.

olderbutwiser · 26/01/2025 18:20

Also in my 60s - so, so many different things and one particular major sliding door moment. But far fewer since my 50s. Live and learn, eventually.

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