If you could go back and do things differently, would you? And what would you change?

[thecherryfox]

I know there are so many lovely people on here of different ages, and I’m just curious about your lives. Is there anything you wish you done differently that would have changed the outcome of your life? I believe every choice we make leads to another path and another path off of that one and so on -so if we didn’t make the initial choice (no matter how small) of one path, it wouldn’t have led to the end result. So, is there anything you would have changed and in what way would your life be different than it is now?

Exactly this. I'm probably aware of less than 50% of the adverse effects it had/is having on my life…..but still a regret.

A lot of opportunities have gone but plenty still remain and it's not too late for those ones. Don't let 77 year old regret you didn't do things you could have done now!

I'd change so much. I'd not marry my first husband, not have kids so early. I'd have chased a diagnosis and been honest about my symptoms, rather than talking them what I thought they wanted to hear. I'd have retrained while I still could.

Not given my job (and bloody good pension) up to be a SAHP. Ended up a single parent and had to find a job quickly.
Wished I hadn't had the Astra Zeneca jab - I'm sure my current issues with my body were caused by this. I'd already had Covid anyway.

Hmm recently I often think about how I maybe should have gone to uni, but that would involve going waaaaay way back to childhood and having parents who understood me/my brain and helped me get there. They’re fine parents but i was sort of left to make my own decisions on that front and actually I needed some help. I didn’t go to uni as didn’t want to waste the money and had no clue what to do.
I mainly wish I’d gone for the social side as see people with friends from those formative days makes me think.
BUT! I have a job I love and literally no one ever has asked me if I have a degree. I have 3 kids - probably wouldn’t have the exact same kids if I’d not taken my path, as would have probably had them a couple years later than I did so wouldn’t be the exact same people they are, and that’s unimaginable!

Change my Uni course and not go so far from home as I hated the course and was very homesick.

I wouldn’t have got so worked up about stupid things when I was totally burned out after my gran died. I wouldn’t have meant so much on my dear friend. Maybe if I had taken distance and just dealt with it by myself she wouldn’t have been so cruel to me and we would still be on easy terms now.

Ignore the Careers Master at school when he said girls didn't do what I wanted to do, which indirectly led to me getting married, which is something that I would not do if I had a 'do over'.

I’m 69 and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Having said that I’ve not had an easy life and I’ve experienced tragedy and pretty extreme highs and lows.

I’m a great believer in simple twists of fate. Miniscule decisions we make along the way and random events all bring us to where we are today. I have a lot to be grateful for and I’ll settle for that.

I really, really wish I'd been a singer in a rock group (this of course would have meant being able to sing, which I can't. But I wish I'd tried to learn.)

I would go back and have therapy for my dysfunctional childhood in my 20s. I’m embarrassed of some of my behaviour in my 20s and 30s and have a few regrets. My DH is amazing but I really don’t deserve him and his patience.

That’s it. I’m happy with the rest even when I’ve chosen the wrong degree or the wrong career. No life is 100% perfect & happy at all times.

Just wish I didn’t hurt people 😭

I have had therapy now and I’m mortified at myself

• Learned to say No right from when I was a teen.

• Found a way to get into the career I wanted to do, but didn't because I didn't know it was a real thing...

Wish I'd chosen a different career.

I wish I had gone to agriculural college instead of reading for a degree in chemistry.

Wish I'd had more confidence in myself. I was an anxious wreck for so long. My shyness and self consciousness about my looks/body prevented me from doing so much... I look at photos of me 30 years ago. I look so unhappy. Now I'm old, I realise I had everything going for me and sadly it's probably too late now. I'm sad that anxiety robbed me of so much.

If I'd still have the same children I'd have had them a few years earlier. Not fixed a mortgage as the rates plummeted.

I wish I'd learned the piano
I wouldn't have made one career choice that changed my whole working life, but it suited the children at the time so not a big regret
I wish we'd moved house years ago. Too late now

I wish I had done what I truly wanted once I left school, rather than going to uni and studying a subject I hated because my DM wanted me to. I'm now much older, married and have 3 DCs, and it's so much harder to retrain. I wish I'd had the balls back then to tell my DM 'no!'

I wish I hadn't agreed to have ds circumcised. It's probably my greatest regret and with hindsight, the simplest one to have prevented. I don't know how dh would have reacted if I'd refused to have it done, but I wish I had.

There is one meeting where I should have got up, announced that I couldn't cope, and walked out. I think the outcome might have been radically different. But I don't think I could have done it. The alternative might have been a single phone call that I could have made. A lot might be different.

I would have returned to work after dc rather than take extended mat leave. 5 years off destroyed my career and my self confidence and it's hugely shaped my life since then. I'm now In my second "new" career and all my friends who went back to work are now in really good careers/managers and I'm an entry level role.

Perhaps I would bounce my ideas off some of the economists available to me, rather than opening that second bottle...🤔

Feel awful to write this and apologies for the offence. But it is a real issue.

marrying into a family where there are significant mental health issues. DH fell apart badly when faced with a challenge and tore our family apart. They have a sibling who still lives at home and terrifies DC, but DH won’t be honest and insists on visiting. I go to protect DC and have got to the point of divorce. The only thing that stops me is the risk of shared custody. The parents have not sought any help/have shielded the sibling who lives at home. I wish we could help out but I am not putting DC at risk of abuse (mainly psychological). I suspect there is elder abuse, but one of the parents is so unstable and with it horribly aggressive any attempt at helping risks backfiring.

I'd have tried to make things work with my exh. My DC would have had a better life if we'd stayed together.

The night I met my ex partner, I'd have stayed home!!!!!

I wish I had studied to be a joiner!

I wish I'd made a commitment to my girlfriend and she would never have killed herself