To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

[NovemberMorn]

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

You are right that if a woman takes precautions she is less likely to be intimidated. But just imagine if, instead of all those years where we taught women how to 'handle it' (and criticising them if they couldn't/didn't) we had spent that time teaching the MEN how not to intimidate women. If we had made it THEIR problem to 'deal with', not ours. If we'd asked them to 'toughen up' and not just go along with what their mates did. If we'd taught them to 'handle' rejection.

Just imagine if we had only spent half as much time and energy educating those causing the problem, rather than excusing them and putting the burden of 'dealing with it' on to young women.

Agree with you and Joanna. I found it very flattering too. I think women were more able to handle themselves in the past. So many women now are permanently offended or just hate men.

I don’t get the ‘flattering’ thing… do you think they deliberately picked you out because you were more attractive than the average? In my experience, they would wolf whistle anyone. Even kids.

I have missed absolutely nothing.
In fact I have answered as many points as I can, going from my own experiences, what I have seen and heard along the way, and also responding to others on this thread....most of the posts being genuine, a couple trying to be smart (failing) but on the whole, thanks for the debate.

@tresales

But if you insist then yes I think how much skin you show or what you wear/how you present yourself will mean you get unwanted (in some cases) attention

Schoolgirls in uniform tend to get lots of whistles. Silly girls, presenting themselves that way.

@tresales

It's like whining your phone got nicked in a bad area while you had it out, its just reality unless you want to live in an asexual world.

Is a woman any more responsible for being sexually assaulted or raped if she is wearing a crop top and shorts versus a long sleeved dress?

Because that would follow the logic of what you've said.

What's flattering about it? They do it to anyone. You must have crippling low self-esteem if you are flattered by a complete stranger ranking your sexual attractiveness in the street.

@NovemberMorn

A wolf whistle never harmed anyone, unless the bloke whistling was so distracted he fell of the ladder.

Never harmed anyone? I remember going a different way to school for ages (ironically, a less safer route in other ways) to avoid a building where workmen would whistle at us on our way to school.

I was probably 12 or 13. A child. They would whistle at us and laugh between themselves and some would also shout things about how we looked. They frightened me.

Having adult men make it clear they noticed me and my body, and were confident and entitled enough to loudly draw attention to me and my body, was frightening. Of course it can harm people.

"show us your tits love!"
"I am only 15 and 3/4"
"Oh I am terribly sorry young lady, please forgive me I am a disgusting pervert and will check the ID of the next woman I sexually harrass"

@NovemberMorn

"As has been said...women and girls handled themselves back then."

Women shouldn't have to handle themselves. What a mind numbingly idiotic idea that the onus should be women to physically fight of men who just feel like intimately touching their bodies anytime they please. So by your rationale we should have to slap them around the face? Do you apply the same logic to children who are being bullied? Is the onus on them to find the courage to punch their tormentors. The onus shouldn't be on any victim to defend themselves in any scenario.

Why should women have to live their lives always prepared to kick or slap a man who wants to do what the hell they like? Is that how you want your daughters (if you have any) to live? Apart from the absurdity of your assertion, women aren't always in a position to punch or slap their assailant and it is, in any event, dangerous advice to give anyone. You know this is a misogynistic world, you know women don't get jobs, promotions (or worse) for refusing men's advances. What planet are you actually on? For reference I'm 67 and I've had a fucking life time of being the victim and the observer of predatory male behaviour.

I hated it. Still do, but not on my own behalf anymore, as it certainly doesn't happen now that I'm in my fifties. And that's the point. These men are deciding which women DESERVE to be noticed, based on their age, their body, their face and often their clothes. I remember feeling very uncomfortable when it happened to me but, worse still, I thought it was MY fault that I didn't like it. It's not about appreciation at all. It's about control.

How do you explain saying -

Of course boys should be educated too, it goes without saying, if boys/young men/adults, stopped harassing women, there would not be a problem.

You've acknowledged that the harrassment needs to stop, you've acknowledged boys need to be educated in order to stop them harassing girls, but you're, inexplicably, defending their right to continue.

Don't know, but I do know I was extremely attractive back in the day and was told so regularly by men and women alike. I didn't think above it that deeply tbh. They saw an attractive woman, wolf whistled, maybe made a comment then passed on. Maybe they ww at a few women that day but I don't think any man wolf whistles indiscriminately at "anyone, even kids"😂

Why should women have to “learn" to handle themselves in a particular way in order to go about their daily business?

And to handle themselves in a "non threatening way"........ women walking down the street is threatening? Seriously? WOMEN have to learn not to be threatening towards men who are hassling them?? ? Are you actually real?

How little self respect did you have that you found being shouted at by uneducated apes to be some kids of validation of your attractiveness. Because of course, that's your most important role, to be attractive to strange men. Dear God. It's actually tragic.

Cheery wave and "how are you darlin?" Did they give cheery waves to men going about their day as well?
Fuck sake.

I was wolf whistled at a lot as a child.

Not sure if paedophiles or just bullies

Good

You're flattering yourself love. They wolf whistled at me in my school uniform from the age of 12 and I'm very far from alone. For clarity I was short, dumpy and freckled and clearly a child. It's control and reinforcing their superiority, it's marking their territory. Bascially they jizz in their pants at it.

@Bbq1

Maybe they ww at a few women that day but I don't think any man wolf whistles indiscriminately at "anyone, even kids"😂

Many of us on this thread have shared stories of being wolf whistled at as children.

Do you think we are all lying?

Or do you see now that plenty of men do whistle at kids?

Of you had any self respect being treated like fuck would would offend you.

I found it really intimidating when I was walking home from school alone, and the bloody horn honking. It was awful.

Of course women shouldn't have to handle themselves, but if some creep puts their hand on your leg, what would you advise them to do?
Dial 999 and wait for a cop to show up?
In my experience, and it has happened, a slap stopped him in his track, it drew attention to him, and he was ejected from the venue.
My bet is he didn't do it again.

Do you think rallying against someone who supports women standing up for themselves will ever stop creeps taking advantage of vulnerable women...believe me, it won't.

@NovemberMorn

A wolf whistle never harmed anyone, unless the bloke whistling was so distracted he fell of the ladder.

Having read posts from me and many many others who explained how upsetting we found it being wolf whistled by adult men as children, can you now acknowledge that on reflection, your statement 'a wolf whistle never harmed anyone' is clearly untrue?

I never put up with it. They were always told to get fucked.

Because everybody was so busy telling the women they needed to handle it, they never thought to spend a bit more time telling the men not to do it in the first place.

Now we are finally looking at doing something about the perpetrators, rather than 'educating' the victims, we might actually start to see change. It will take time, of course, but we would be a lot further down that road now if we'd always treated this as the men being the problem, not the women.

OP hasn't responded to a single one of my posts on this. I am not a 'modern' woman, either, but I am cheering modern women on for not thinking they have to pug up with it/deal with it and it's their problem if they don't like it.

It's not for us to 'toughen up'. We've been 'tough'. It's time for the men to do the work, shoulder the burden, 'handle' their own behaviour.