How much does your teen cost?

[candlelightees]

I am a teacher and yesterday I overheard some cheeky chappies saying the government pays for them in the form of child benefit. This opened a discussion. Other students chipped in. It seemed some were self aware, others not so much.

I added up my own teen cost minus the grocery/household share. Didn't realise how expensive they actually are.

Transport- £20
Lunch money-£60
Counselling- £180
Clothes-£50 (always something wearing out)
Horesriding-£100
Pocket money-£100
Phone bill-£50
Total £560

Plus the commom texts. ' please can I have £20 to go out with so and so?' Can I get my nails, eyelashes, highlights done?

I realise a lot of this could be cut. But I think lots of people spend a lot on teens. They are bloody expensive.

Thank you @LittleRedRidingHoody

Transport - £10/month or so (in London so buses are free. Occasionally she gets the tube here and there but not often

School dinners - £50

Pocket money - £60

Dance - £120 + probably around an extra £50 on average for competition entries, new costumes, etc. There always seems to be something!

Clothes - I’d guess around £50

Phone - £35

Spotify - £5 (I used to have the individual but she wanted her own profile so I’m factoring the additional cost in)

So about £380 in total. Then there’s the odd “can I have £20 for So and So’s birthday present” or what have you here and there.

Pocket money £100? Phone £50?

My teens never got that. It's high I think.

Not a one off treat in our case, no.

I also feed DS berries every day - now he’s 5 currently, but at what point should I stop just in case he’s accidentally living the high life as a teen? I’d be interested to see your list of what you spend on yours, as you haven’t actually given it - just bitched complained about everyone elses decision.

But she's never had to fight for it, she's never had to go without. She made a decision that she would only eat high quality wholefoods with no money to fund it so her mum has jumped in to give her that don't you think it would be better to say if you want luxuries in life you have to work for them and then when you have saved enough then you can have them. People shouldn't always be getting what they want instantly

But she's my child, who made a decision around 14 that she wanted to only eat whole foods. Of course she has no money to fund it, she's a child. Why would I make her go without when I can afford to allow her to eat healthily?

Not everyone's life is full of financial hardship. My life certainly isn't and neither is my DDs.

Unless your spending £400 on berries every month for one child it's not the same. I won't be giving my kids anything after 16 apart from the food we all eat and a roof over there head. If they want stuff they need to earn it. I'm excellent at budgeting and managing money and that's because I always had to.

Sorry. I thought I was quoting this.

I feel so different to everyone on this site you all seem to have easy and blessed lives. Where everyone just gave you stuff I didn't realise this was a thing apart from obviously a few spoilt rich kids

15 year old

(£32 a month) £8 per week pocket money
(£60 a month) £5 per hour she does her voluntary charity shop job (normally £15 a week)
£3.99 a month phone
£16 a month Spotify (we both use)
(£13 a month) £75 a year Rugby subs (£50 a pair of boots a year, general rugby clothes subsidised heavily by club + driving to matches)

Anything she wants, meal deals, cinema and Costa comes out of her own spends)
Anything she needs I pay for and she has free access to take lunch from home.
I go 50/50 on her gifts to friends and family.

Clothes she happily gets from charity shops, more expensive items she craves from Disturbia or similar are Christmas and birthday gifts or her own spends.

Total £135ish a month base rate + food + utilities + eating out + regular theatre trips for us both

Did you grow up having to go without often? I did, and I find that people who grew up how I did often have the view that their children should have to face the same lessons. I now work with a lot of people from completely different worlds to me and they tend to have the opposite view. I have to say, over the years I’ve come to see that perspective more. Why should my children have to face struggle just because I did?

Per month for 16 yr old

£100 (inc gym membership)
£30 for a weekly club/activity
£50 on average for clothes and shoes (complete guess, usually stock up when season changes if there’s been a growth spurt)
not much on transport (in Scotland so free bus pas, live in urban area so almost always gets the bus)
£20 skin care stuff that usually pick up when shopping (routine stuff needed not fancy brands or anything)
Takes packed lunch to school so maybe £40 per month

£350 on bread. (Not really, but a lot of toast gets consumed!!)

After that, holidays, birthdays, Christmas.

Driving lessons followed by uni about to drive up the cost significantly!

we don’t get child benefit, so the government definitely doesn’t pay for ours (apart from bus pass).

Surely you understand that there are people who live different lifestyles and have access to varying degrees of wealth?

Yeah I grew up in care so was on my own
And although that has taught me what to do differently with my kids in the sense of being their for them physically and emotionally there is definitely some positive skills that came from it i do want to pass on such as resilience, managing money, living within your means, not being reliant on others, working for what you have.

Did you grow up having to go without often? I did, and I find that people who grew up how I did often have the view that their children should have to face the same lessons. I now work with a lot of people from completely different worlds to me and they tend to have the opposite view. I have to say, over the years I’ve come to see that perspective more. Why should my children have to face struggle just because I did?

I grew up pretty comfortable but my parents are immigrants from not much. My mum in particular was quite strict on materialistic things so often said no. I think it was quite good for me personally & do the same for my dc.

Absolutely but I didn't expect it to be 90% of mumsnet

Absolutely but I didn't expect it to be 90% of mumsnet

You must be new then! 😆 500k salaries, 2m houses are the norm.

I grew up poor and want my children to have more than I had. It doesn’t mean they’re spoilt, they’re not. Spoilt to me means having a bad attitude and being entitled. You don’t have to be tighter than you need to be to teach your children to be good people and the value of money.

Just don't forget to give them some of what you had as it made you the person you are

You don’t need a £500k salary to spend a few hundred pound per month on your teenager. 🙄

It's seems some parents are living their life vicariously through their children. Which child dreams of intensive ballet lessons (absolutely pointless) Girls needs kick ass martial arts to protect themselves. And Horse riding, that's just trying hard to be upper middle class, as if the horse wants young Tarquin or Allegra bouncing around on its back hours on end. Leave the horses alone, it's deviant. What next, Fox hunting with bayonets.

My dad's colleague who became a good friend used to make their dc sit in economy whilst parents were in first 😆😆

I had what you plan to do with your children @Differentstarts ~ I ended up in a minimum wage job (fine) being sexually abused by my boss which ended in pregnancy (not fine) terrified of quitting/telling my parents as I wouldn't be able to afford anything and I needed to 'prove myself'.
I absolutely learned resilience, got myself out of that situation, worked my ass off to provide for my DS and learn to budget. I wanted a 'nicer' life and worked towards/landed a very high paying job, at which point I met some of these 20 year olds I'd always been told were 'spoilt rich kids' ~ they actually just seemed really happy. Backed by their parents, great work ethic they'd learnt via their parents, expensive tastes but a salary they'd worked hard for to match. I absolutely want to provide that for DS - yes as a young adult you need to learn responsibility, but IMO (and I've thought about it a lot!) that can be done in ways that don't require being left to fend for yourself financially.
Absolutely understand what happened to me was also an after effect of emotional neglect as a child, not just having 'must find a job and keep it' pushed on me, but the reason I stayed ultimately was I didn't want to fail and wanted my parents to be proud of that. I want DS to grow up with nice things, and know money and work ethic are important, but not the be all end all (which it had to be for me).

To be fair, DS does a load of activities (don't come for me, it's cheaper than ASC!) and it's all stuff his friends do that he suggests to me. He's been begging for horse riding for a while but I've been putting it off 😂

Mumsnet is probably the most middle class space online. I don’t know how representative it is of the general population, but there are definitely more wealthy people on here than I come across in my social life.