How much does your teen cost?

[candlelightees]

I am a teacher and yesterday I overheard some cheeky chappies saying the government pays for them in the form of child benefit. This opened a discussion. Other students chipped in. It seemed some were self aware, others not so much.

I added up my own teen cost minus the grocery/household share. Didn't realise how expensive they actually are.

Transport- £20
Lunch money-£60
Counselling- £180
Clothes-£50 (always something wearing out)
Horesriding-£100
Pocket money-£100
Phone bill-£50
Total £560

Plus the commom texts. ' please can I have £20 to go out with so and so?' Can I get my nails, eyelashes, highlights done?

I realise a lot of this could be cut. But I think lots of people spend a lot on teens. They are bloody expensive.

You're paying her pocket money PLUS a wide range of additional non-necessities PLUS additional pocket money for going out, etc when she requests it.

The problem here is you, I'm afraid. You're teaching her nothing about managing money.

Please don't imply this will happen to my children because of how I choose to raise them the reason I ended up in care was because of years of csa. I will do everything in my power to make sure my children are protected from that which is why I put so much physical and emotional time into raising them and I teach them about boundaries, respect, bodies and not to keep secrets. Me not paying £70 for a phone contract or £400 each for a wholefood diet does not mean they will be sexually abused. They will always have a home with me a roof over there head a warm bed, food in the fridge and running water.

You don’t need a £500k salary to spend a few hundred pound per month on your teenager.

I was being facetious obviously.

But if you have an expensive house , pay for private education, pensions, investments, tax, multiple dc who need £600 a much each you might need that 😆

Mine are hideously expensive, school bus, lunches, sports, clothes. And thats before any nice to haves like nails.
But no matter how much I spend, they'll always be asking for more. I'm hoping it's a phase..

DD13
Pocket money £86 (£20 x52/12)
Gym membership £35
Haircuts £10 (£30x4/12)
School lunches £60
Netball subs £5 (£60pa)
Netball and school trips/dress down etc £15
Clothes £75 (usually seasonally)
Sports kit/gym kit £15 (£180/12)
Skincare £20
Hair products £20
Occasional nails, make up £10 (£120/12)
Apple music on family plan
Transport driven everywhere
Uniform £25 (£300/12)
Gifts for friends birthday/christmas £10 (£120/12)

= £386 plus birthday, Christmas, valentines, Easter, Halloween, holiday spends it soon adds up.

My parents always told me kids were expensive, so I didn't give birth as a money making scheme. The £50,000+ school fees make the eyes water but I'm clearly making savings with the £10 a week pocket money.

DD is 14. Her monthly costs are pretty low:
£100 school lunches
£25 pocket money
£10 a month Guides
The odd tenner here and there if she's going out for lunch with a friend or something.

Sorry, forgot the £5 per month phone bill

How patronising. You really are very judgmental. You seem to think you are the only one who knows how to bring children up well, giving out advice no one wants or needs. I could say that being deliberately tight with your children, because you think everything has to be an opportunity for them to learn that the world can be hard is going to cause them issues. I certainly know a few adults with that experience.

Oh I’m not. I’m just explaining it can be equally as dangerous to have a ‘fend for yourself’ mentality as it can to ‘spoil’ someone. As long as it’s thought through and the right conversations are taking place ~ which it seems, are, on your end and the parents you are criticising ~ then each approach is fine. But don’t assume we’ve all had it easy! My (well thought through!) choices on how I’ll deal with this and the life I want my son to have are directly related to seeing it work badly the other way round. You don’t have to agree, just not belittle other people’s choices.

I don't pay as much as that:

Pocket money 60
Football 30
Phone 10
School lunch 40
(He makes a sandwich 🥪 most days)
Clothes occasionally. Not £50 every month.

Next time someone posts on here saying they have no money and are the 'squeezed middle', I'll be asking them what they spend on their children.

Let's face it, some of these items aren't essential.

I'm clearly an outlier. 4 kids ( youngest is 13yo) and I've never given any of them a set amount of allowance ( pocket money). Going out with friends - here's some money; if they desperately wanted a pair of shoes/ a sweater etc I bought them. No doubt this is completely wrong but it's how I was brought up and I'm ok.
Most big items were given at xmas and bday.
Always had free buses or been walking distance to school
Always made packed lunches ( not UK)
Oldest 2 seemed to spend endless money on their sports , 3rd was the worst because he was into sports and a musician ( hello Japan tour), but youngest isnt interested, he's a gamer. It still adds up with the bloody roblox and steam cards andgames and head phones.etc.
I would have no clue how much the 4 of them have cost me and I don't want to know. ( It didn't help living in a nice neighbourhood so everyone ws wearing top notch branded clothes and I had to try to keep up. ) . We've moved to the country now. Much cheaper!! And people wander around the shops in their ugg boots and nobody cares.
Never saved for uni as here students get a loan and pay it back in stages as a % of their income ( trying to translate to pounds here) 0% of your take-home pay until about 30kpounds, moving up gradually to 2.5% at roughly 100kpounds. You can pay ahead ( or get your parents too) but that's not a majority.
Most don't live in halls either , they live at home or a share house. There are halls but again pretty expensive.
Most uni students pay a lot of their way through with part time jobs for general expenses and worry about the debt later.
Mind you I lent my second car to one of my kids 18 months ago and so far all i have to show for it is 2 parking fines and a 700 bill for the brakes - it's still regoed in my name! So whatever you do they are expensive but worth it and that one in 3 weeks is able to put out his shingle as a qualified solicitor, but it would have been very hard to get to his evening lectures without a car.You just resign yourself that pretty much all of your money is going on your kids. Lucky you love the little bugas.

👏

Let's face it, some of these items aren't essential.

Of course, this is why it annoys me when MNetters gleefully tell parents of pre schoolers "just you wait until they're teens!", childcare is an essential, much of the spending we do on teens is a choice, and can be flexed to a budget.

My kids went to the training academy ( actually I still do) for haircuts. £5 for cut and blow dry, £46 colour CBD.

Same story with facials, lashes and semi permanent makeup. All done at a different training academy for much less money. Was freezing until recently

You seem to be running a particularly expensive model. Very few teenagers require counselling and riding lessons.

£50 phonebill?! My secondary age kids costs me £5 a month, their basic handset was an Xmas gift.
No counselling costs here, nor any transport to school as they walk.
They don't cost me £50 a month in clothes I wouldn't say, they aren't fussed about brands.
They take a pack up to school for lunch but I top up their account with a tenner every couple of months maybe so they can buy the odd snack or whatever.
Pocket money is defo not £100 a month 😳

Very expensive. £10k a year on uni is the most direct cost, and whilst admittedly uni has seen the end of therapy and tutors, teens are very expensive, and have had a tough time of things (hence the therapy and tutors to level things out).

DS is £30 a week, which is a combo of lunch money and pocket money. Phone is £15 a month. Clothes and shoe costs are just occasional and better now no school uniform. About to be 17 so driving lessons soon, which will be a big expense.

-£5 each phone bill
-Walk to school
-Free school meals
-Uniform was about £100 each altogether and I repair them where possible until they grow out of them
-Shoes - feels like a bloody fortune because their feet grow like nobody's business, which means we have to replace school shoes, trainers and everyday shoes all at once
-After school clubs are free
-Haircuts are rare and cheap
-No expensive hobbies or counselling requirements
-Pocket money comes out of DLA money

Wait till they pass their driving tests at one point we were running three cars with all the associated costs!!

Realising my DD13 is incredibly cheap!
Monthly we have:
Pocket money £20
School lunches £10 (drinks water and takes 80% of a lunch in most days)
Phone £4 (expected to have the handsets as a Christmas present)
Clothes probably £30-50 (branded trainers/ training tops/ football kits are Christmas presents)
Stationery, make up, toiletries probably £5 (make up / Brazilian Bum Bum cream or similar comes from pocket money)
Football subs £20
Gym £9
Food is £450 per month for the whole family so I guess her share is like £70?
Baking equipment and ingredients £15 ... though we do get to eat it!

Probably every 2 months I host a group of 5 or so of her mates and spend £30ish on fizzy pop, pizzas etc.

As a preteen she has had 2 blocks of play therapy @ £600 each block (£50 a session) but is in a good place at the moment.

I've never actually added it up, have 1 DS16, here goes

£80 lunches
£100 allowance
£30 football club fees
£20 golf club fees
£25 gym membership
£20 haircut
£50 clothes/footwear (average over year, including sports kit/boots/coats) If he wants labels he adds his own savings or waits till birthdays/Christmas
£30 electricity (room is like a sauna with his electricals)

So erm £355 plus probably £300 food

Fuck me he's expensive, no wonder I have to work so much! I'm a lone parent too but thankfully get some maintenance.
I always swore he wouldn't be a single parent statistic and didn't want him missing out. I definitely overcompensate.

He knows he's a lucky boy though, he's always thankful and he knows I work hard, we're a working class family by MN standards.
He's on track for uni and hopefully getting a p/t job this summer.

Dd3, who is 17 and in year 12
£45 a week tern time for travel and food
£20 a week pocket money
Odd £100 every few months for clothes.
She earns£90 a week in a local cafe though.