How much does your teen cost?

[candlelightees]

I am a teacher and yesterday I overheard some cheeky chappies saying the government pays for them in the form of child benefit. This opened a discussion. Other students chipped in. It seemed some were self aware, others not so much.

I added up my own teen cost minus the grocery/household share. Didn't realise how expensive they actually are.

Transport- £20
Lunch money-£60
Counselling- £180
Clothes-£50 (always something wearing out)
Horesriding-£100
Pocket money-£100
Phone bill-£50
Total £560

Plus the commom texts. ' please can I have £20 to go out with so and so?' Can I get my nails, eyelashes, highlights done?

I realise a lot of this could be cut. But I think lots of people spend a lot on teens. They are bloody expensive.

I'm not belittling the active choices the child may have taken independently. I just don't believe any child would make any dancing choice unless guided to by a parent. That's just my opinion.

I believe Ballet or doing Ballet is a social construct guided and reinforced by parents, like wearing pink or princess fancy dress. Like the dolls house it's just gender reinforcement like baby pushchairs. It's just weird. Girls should learn kick ass martial arts and not get enveloped into a body dismoryhic culture of self loathing. Girls have enough pressure, they will not become Disney princesses or ballet dancers. Learn to use a hammer and spirit level, far more beneficial.

Also these privileged kids become hard work if and when they get married then cause future nightmares for others on MN. Just look at what a childhood of ballet and horse riding has done to women on here. They seem to become awful daughters in law who constantly rage against their MIL or SIL or both.

You want some ketchup for that chip @ConstanceM ?

You couldn't be any more wrong. She loves it. Always has. She requested it. I let her try everything.She can stop whenever she wants to, but she doesn't want to. Sorry to not fit your narrative. I'm sure you'll continue with it anyway.

Mine's in her last year of Uni now and I pay her phone (25 euros) and her rent/bills (600 euros). No student loans here (though tuition is only 800 euros a year) She has my lunch voucher card to put towards food c. 160 euros a month. She works PT to fund her social life. At Xmas I will get her new PJs, trainers, jeans, underwear but she buys other clothes herself.

As a teenager at home, hmm - phone - still about 25 euros. Music and theatre lessons - probably about 3/400 euros a term. Allowance - 100/125 euros a month. I bought all her toiletries and "normal" clothes - no school uniform here so mostly hoodies, jeans and t-shirts etc I never kept count but say 600 euros or so a year? If she wanted something fancy/designer she saved up for it and I did splurge on her occasionally.

We live in a quite a "naice" area but kids never seemed to worry about labels at school. I have tried to keep a balance between her not going without anything, and encouraging her to work/save. I have friends who think nothing of buying designer trainers and the latest iPhone for their kids, but I have always held back from that. DH and I worked for everything we have and that's the message I want to pass on.

I prefer Barbecue sauce. 😘

At 4 I would suggest that all things a child does is "parent driven ".

If you want to think my daughter is a spoilt, privileged little princess because she rides, plays instruments and does activities you seem for some reason to be disparaging, that's fine. It's really water off a duck's back. It just sounds like jealousy to me that you can't afford to provide your children with those opportunities and want to take a little pop at those that can, sad really.

Anyway I'm not sure why I'm wasting my time justifying myself to some randomer online. I must go and polish my tiara.

What an odd opinion! Pretty much every small girl I know has wanted to dance at some point.

DD did ballet for a while, which wasn't our bag but we went along with it. When she decided to stop we were secretly pleased and moved on

Ballet actually has many 'transferable skills' for future use in a "kickass" martial arts like karate. Flexibility, core strength, leg strength and power...

I can say this with some authority as a 3rd dan (black belt) karate instructor who took 12 years of ballet as a child.

Not that I'd describe karate as "kickass" though, because that's an embarrassing word to use for a respected martial art with roots that go back thousands of years.

That's I say vicariously, as there is no way a child 4+ decides to do Ballet!. It's parent driven in my humble opinion.

Weirdest take ever. You do realise that, just as adults have different hobbies and interests, children and teenagers do too? Just because you wouldn’t want to do ballet, it doesn’t mean no one would. My DD had to quit ballet when she was 14 for financial reasons, and she has mourned it ever since. I hate that I’ve had to take something she loved away from her.

I have one DC at home still full time (DS1 now moved away, and DS2 at uni). DD is 16 and costs very little.

Transport - zero (has a lift from dad or me)
Clothes - definitely not a monthly cost. Maybe £150 a quarter, absolute max, probably less.
Phone - her dad pays this, think its less than £15
Food - she cooks her own meals out of choice, sticks to the same 3-4 dishes, makes a lot of fresh pasta sauces. Food shop for both is £70.
Entertainment - doesn’t go out much, we do go out to eat sometimes, or her dad will take her.
Pocket money -£25 (mainly she saves it)
School dinners -£25

She is a very cheap child! She will ask me ad-hoc to order something from amazon, related to school normally or her nails. But nothing like £500 plus a month like OP. My dog costs a lot more!😀

I have no idea if your daughter is spoilt and couldn't care less, you obviously think she is, that's your issue

Not jealous, far from it and can afford it, amply!
Just choose not to indulge in that weird nonsense.

How about letting the kids have a break after a tough week at school, this mania of dropping off and picking them up and dragging them in and out of activities to keep up with school gate mums is just insane. Give the kids a break. They work hard in school and deserve a rest and family time at weekends. No?

How about letting the kids have a break after a tough week at school, this mania of dropping off and picking them up and dragging them in and out of activities to keep up with school gate mums is just insane. Give the kids a break. They work hard in school and deserve a rest and family time at weekends. No?

For the life of me, I can't fathom what you're trying to achieve with your posts @ConstanceM . No one has said they do this, so you're just making stuff up. Is there someone who you see does this in your life and you're getting upset on the child's behalf? Otherwise I don't get it. It's all quite daily Mail. Make something up, then rant about it.

The thread is about teenagers. My teenagers do the things they want to, because, um, they want to do them. I don't understand why that upsets you so much.

My contempt for forced weekend children's activities is universal and not based on personal experiences. Btw I am the antithesis of the Daily Mail. Nothing personal, just an opinion that goes against grain. Sorry for the upset I may have caused.

I spend a fortune on my teen daughter, but it's a choice I make, because I love her being able to explore loads of opportunities!

Dd13(nearly 14)
No bus fare as she cycles to and from school
Pocket money -30 pounds a month
Lunch money -80 pounds a month
French language tutor (she wants to be fluent, apparently!) - 120
French tv subscription -7
Sailing - literally don't add it up. Her club membership is about ten a month, her association membership another 5, then entry to events variable, probably 20-40. I also help with kit costs. This month alone I've spent a fair bit on gloves and bits as it's freezing. I would guess it works out at at least 100 a month, maybe more in season.
Cadets 20 a month
Music lessons 100 a month
Clothes - who knows, she is picky, so only wears a few bits and she grows slowly so don't buy much. She has some bits for Christmas. So I don't spend a lot I think.

I do buy her bits and bobs as well, stuff for her hair. Just spent 100 on revision guides as she is starting to study her g se courses. She is going on a school music trip this summer which is several hundred pounds. Plus haircuts and things.

She works really hard at school, does her best in everything she does and we are lucky that we can afford to let her follow her interests!

Definitely. All too few people realise though!!

When my dd was at regular secondary school and they did PE fitness tests, bleep test, plank etc and all the rugby lads thought they'd come out top, they had another think coming. 😂

£50 per month on their phone??

😂😱😳😵🤒🤕

Yes. I want mine to have a decent phone. He uses it a lot for education, needs a good camera etc.

I think teaching your children that they are privileged compared to others is really important. I grew up never having to worry about money and I’m so glad my parents taught me to never take it for granted and that it didn’t make me better than anyone else- a fairly disgusting mindset I’ve seen often from others.

I find this quite offensive TBH. My daughter did ballet all the way through to 16yrs. Including pointe work and inter foundation. She wasn't obsessed with pink, she is kick ass strong girl who made pointe work look easy even though its not, she was also extremely fit and believe me she eats. You obviously have no idea how hard the work is or what strength dancers need to be able to get on their toes or how much time they need to practice. And why on earth should she do martial arts when she doesn't want to, surely me making her do that is just being a pushy parent. I bet most of the mums reading your post who have children doing ballet can also spot you don't know what you are talking about.

• Are ballet dancers petite and slender? Yes or No?
• Are they encouraged (like gymnasts) to keep a low weight? Yes or No?
• Can an average or bigger sized girl (UK average) succeed in ballet? Yes or No?

Case proven. Thank you for your time.

I agree. My daughter didn't train as a professional but did so it until she was 16yrs I'm offended on her behalf that she has been labeled in a way that suggests she has no strength.

Wow. Stereotyping. So in answer to your questions.
No, No and no.

Right up till when she left there were girls over all shapes and sizes in her class.

Her weight was never mentioned

And yes they can lots of girls do ballet and the ENB now has girls dancing who are not the classically small thin girl. However lots of people do it for fun and adult ballet is booming.

And thank you for proving to me you know absolutely nothing about what you are talking about! Case proven.

@ConstanceM

Are ballet dancers petite and slender? Yes or No?
• Are they encouraged (like gymnasts) to keep a low weight? Yes or No?
• Can an average or bigger sized girl (UK average) succeed in ballet? Yes or No?
Case proven. Thank you for your time.

Genuinely, you're a bit deranged. You're obsessed with whether they 'succeed' or not. What does that even mean to you? If they're in Swan Lake in the West End? The vast majority are not, neither do they care. So, to answer your questions thinking about my teenage dds ballet class, which one again, she loves and chose herself...

1. Some yes, some no. Generally, they are fit though, because, well, ballet.
2. No.
3. What is success to you? To me, it's happiness, so, yes.

Case prove and thank you for your time?

Are you quite ok? Yes or no.

Clearly no.