How much does your teen cost?

[candlelightees]

I am a teacher and yesterday I overheard some cheeky chappies saying the government pays for them in the form of child benefit. This opened a discussion. Other students chipped in. It seemed some were self aware, others not so much.

I added up my own teen cost minus the grocery/household share. Didn't realise how expensive they actually are.

Transport- £20
Lunch money-£60
Counselling- £180
Clothes-£50 (always something wearing out)
Horesriding-£100
Pocket money-£100
Phone bill-£50
Total £560

Plus the commom texts. ' please can I have £20 to go out with so and so?' Can I get my nails, eyelashes, highlights done?

I realise a lot of this could be cut. But I think lots of people spend a lot on teens. They are bloody expensive.

Are you getting pip or any other benefits. Don't rush back, take the break. You don't need to fund this type of lifestyle you need to focus on you and get better. If your kids are old enough to work they can fund their own lifestyle if their not they can do without. I'm sure they would prefer a healthy mum over loads of stuff

School bus - £76
School lunches — £60-70
MMA - £50
Judo - £20
Rugby subs - £15
Phone - £12
Pocket money - £40
Fuel for trips to training/matches/competitions - £30-40
Hair - £50
Shoes/clothes - £40 (averaged out over the year)
Sports kit - £25 (again, averaged out)

God knows how much he adds to the grocery bill, the kid can eat for England!

I don't think people realise how expensive being disabled is does he also get universal credit lcwra and do you get universal credit and carers allowance. There are online calculators or citizen advice if your not sure if your claiming everything your entitled to. You should be getting more then pip.

So it has saved me so much money in the long run 🤣 it has taken some time she is the younger end by the way so she is pre teen / early teen

so it was a learning curve at the beginning but honestly not she loves it and has become so independent with finances.

I do not budge 🤣🤣 sounds cruel but actually she has a good quality of life via it and she now never asks apart from Birthday and Xmas

we made strict rules at the beginning and laid it down from the start for example

if we have a family activity planned like I’m taking them all to thorpe park then I will pay for her ticket but if she asks to do something that isn’t in our schedule then it’s her responsibility. Any gift shop items etc are her responsibility.

she learned very quickly that if she run out of money then that was that 🤣

I do have a supply of basics at home obviously so if she runs out of the stuff she likes she isn’t just left stinking 🤣

I really don’t understand this attitude at all- why does that make the poster a mug ?

Food is by far the biggest expense in our house, our food spend is more than double our mortgage payment!

I agree. My daughter may sound spoiled to some posters but we have had a hellish few years. She doesn't act spoiled and appears really grateful.

Agree on the phone. I use it for everything so dont want a £150 handset.

Think we can all agree it's definitely more than the child benefit like my student thought.

To the pp who asked what my dd spends her £25 a week on. She saves some, presents for Christmas grandparents, auntie , us ,friends. Same with birthdays. Nails and eyelashes when I say no, food when she is out with friends, cinema, her gym sub I think is 25 and wastes some on stupid gaming crap.

@Differentstarts , no I’ve never needed benefits thankfully. That’s not a magic bullet though is it, my job is stressful and requires me to function at a certain level and a certain output. I went back to work when my employer sick pay was coming to an end and I’m ok, just knackered, I’m out of the house from 7:30 - 6:30 four days a week and wfh one day.

Sometimes posters assume that people who happen to be able to provide more than they might have some sort of gilded life. Life isn’t like that. That was my point, most of us are just trying to keep the wheels on, however that looks for us.

But this is what I'm saying you said your recovering from cancer and instead of putting your health first which thankfully in this country with a good benefits system we are able to do. You are going to make yourself more ill to provide a certain lifestyle for your children. Are you worried how your children will react if you say no to them. Do they understand when you got cancer that finances changed and they can't have everything unless they get a job and fund it themselves. These are really good lessons for them to learn. Don't kill yourself over this i promise you they just want you happy and healthy. Material things don't matter.

Far from it, actually. This part of my life is less 'easy' than the part 15 years ago, but still far easier than all of my childhood and all of my 20s.

XH#2 grew up well-off. His parents even moved house to be nearer his university, so that he didn't have to suffer the horrors of uni accommodation! He never had to go without anything, and he never had to do chores, or learn DIY.

I, on the other hand, had a very different upbringing. I'm the one who knows how to do all the DIY, how to work to a very tight budget, how to go without nice things. I went without nice things for many, many years, including my teenage years, and it was miserable.

And that is exactly why I didn't want my children to have the same kind of childhood as I had.

Somehow, though, both XHs and I seem to have navigated a middle path. My children have had a far easier upbringing than I had, yet still know the value of things and appreciate them. And they also know how to do some DIY, how to budget, and how to enjoy the free things.

Your mortgage payments must be miniscule!

You sound like you grew into a decent capable adult how do you think your life would be if you and your husband had been raised like him. I think it sounds you have a nice balance for your children

I don't get carers allowance as I earn above the earnings limit and DH earns too so no UC. DC 17 is at college so cannot apply for UC yet. Apar from Pip, we have to absorb the cost of disability ourselves as we go work and don't qualify for means tested benefits (but money is still very tight).

No I am not worried about how my kids will feel at all if I can’t continue to provide what I do. You’re assuming a great deal here, both this one and the older one have pt jobs and are hardworking students. I wouldn’t reward laziness.

We’ve all had a shit time, my DC were terrified when I was so unwell. I need to put it behind me and carry on, return to normality. If it comes back I’ll deal with it. It is about so much more than material things.

I’ve never looked at the benefit system but I do know that it wouldn’t replace my income.

16yo boy here, per month (not including his season ticket, DH pays for it, and I have no idea how much it is 🙈)

£80 pocket money
£7 unlimited sim only refurbished iPhone
£50-60 food at school
Essential clothes only not interested, so minimal

He saves regularly and is on indeed constantly looking for a job

He pays for nights out (cinema, Nandos, chippy etc) haircuts, bits and bobs if they go into town and travel out of his pocket money.
He saves for branded clothing and football shirts or gets them for birthdays or Christmas

Food is in the main shop.

He gets a few £ from his Nan when he sees her.

I feel you here.
Cost of ds8 is way more then my other 3 children put together
A large chunk of it is education. He's been out of education 2 years. Has a ehcp but la haven't been able to find a suitable provision that can meet need. We are funding majority of what's in place ourselves.

Because of this I'm unable to work.. if he can't go to school, how would he go to childcare.

Food is big cost because he has ARFID and with 6 safe foods your buy anything he eats and they certainly are not cheap foods. He doesn't actually eat an actual meal or anything cooked.

Clothes are a massive cost as well. He's a chewer but they have to feel a certain way. I'm constantly replacing clothes because there's holes.

Don't get me started on equipment costs. We live in an area where it's harder to get things funded. Ie we don't qualify for wheelchair services because he could physically walk, which is the criteria here.. but it doesn't mean he's safe to walk.

@Differentstarts are you STILL going? Can you not get it through your head - people make their own decisions. Dictating to a cancer survivor (well done @42PercentCharged !) what you think they should be doing differently is wildly inappropriate. I have family members on disability benefits, I'm glad they exist but I'd do anything physically possible to avoid relying on them and losing a career/house/standard of living.

Pays his gym membership himself too.

That's incredibly rude I'm allowed to speak to other posters. I have not told you who you can and cant talk to. I was telling the poster your referring to, to take it easy put herself first and don't feel guilty for it as there is help out there. The poor woman had cancer health comes first

Mine has grown up now but their child benefit was given to them monthly for clothes , shoes or whatever they wanted. I topped that up if they needed more. A Nike tracksuit for example is over £100
Train fare was £200 per term
They preferred to take a lunch as ques were huge in canteen but often got something at break time I guess it varied top ups average £10 week.
Phone their dad paid for.
No clubs after age 12 they didn't like them.
Pocket money £50 month but they had a little weekend job from 15 earning £50 a week.

Cost girls vs boys.

It does depend on the group. I over heard a group of boys the other day moaning that one mate had £300 but he wouldn't spend it on clobber for a weekend party.

Apparently they need £100-200 branded T shirts for parties and expensive trainers. No Nikes. I was shocked and you can't where the same thing twice. I am lucky dd isn't into high brands.

Unless people live that life, I think most have no idea how expensive a disabled child is. in fact, it's not so much the cost but the huge loss of earning which just adds up over the years and then we get punished once again at retirement age as we don't have a a private pension fund so being poor carries on. It's such a knock on effect. At least I manage part time hours now but I know once DC finishes school, I will have to care 24/7 and have no income anymore about from the £81 carers allowance per week. I so dread that.

The counselling is only for a short term but yea she hasn't had it easy. Nor me.

She has had plenty of life lessons. She well understands her privilege in this aspect of her life.

@NormaleKartoffeln

But people are privileged in different ways, with good health. My daughter doesn't have that privilege.

£120 tutor
£130 horse riding
£second mortgage on music lessons (junior conservatoire) think it's about £250 a month
£100 lunches
no travel costs as we are in London
£50 clothes, hair accessories etc

MN 'squeezed middle class' mums are too busy to knock up a Sandwich every morning or even the night before. We had to intervene as DS was spending a fortune on snacks/lunch etc. A quick ham & cheese sandwich every morning and we've saved a bundle.
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