To sit an exam at 18 months?

[Name90210]

Sorry if this double posts, the app seems glitchy today!

AIBU or is this really the case…?

I have spent a lot of time reading about the various exams for North London prep schools and we already feel “put off” by schools assessing at aged 3 for a spot at age 4. But that seems to be the norm so we shall accept that!

However, AIBU that a prep school nursery wants to assess my 18 month old for a spot when he turns 2? I feel it’s not right to judge an 18 month old, and he is still rather clingy and very shy in new environments given his age. So I feel uncomfortable that they’d be watching him play and assessing if he’s good enough. HE IS 18 MONTHS…..

AIBU that this is bizarre?

No this is not at all true. The other preps that we have had offers from, at each open day I’ve spoken to the head and nursery head and explained my little one is shy and wuiet, asked about their settling in process to help him etc. I want somewhere that nurtures him.

No. Absolutely not. It’s ridiculous and I wouldn’t want my kid in that environment. But if you do, then that’s the situation and your DC will have to do it.

I think they're actually screening out the ipad kids. It's quite obvious when you see it.

Yes I've recently been screened out from hosting a wealthy foreign student. Presume they used Google Earth.
Pity because it could have been great.

1. You have made a huge deal about nothing
2. you have made it all about you and your assumptions and judgements
3. you are going to be asked for a deposit, shouldn’t your child spend time there before giving your money?
4. you seem to be worried your child isn’t capable of attending a session with peers and being compared.
5. They have a long list of applicants, they are trying to get commitments & deposits completed early. Your child will be like others, stop making this something it isn’t.
6. btw - you child will be compared to others …. For next 18 yrs.

How have they made a huge deal about it? They’ve literally just posted a question on here asking if it’s normal! I don’t see any mention of them going to the national press or protesting outside the school or anything.

assessing for SEN seems both an obvious answer but also a bit unlikely as it would be very ineffective at that age for a large chunk of kids. I reckon it’s either actually screening the parents or the ‘making it seem more desirable than it is’ suggestion made by a couple of other posters.

I struggle to believe that anyone who works in education actually thinks they can tell anything from watching an 18m for 20 mins unless it’s really extreme!

There will be some children with more global delays who at 18mths for eg will not yet be walking, and may have spoken very few words.
I don't agree that it's right (it's bloody awful obviously), but they are likely to literally be looking to avoid taking children with very very obvious significant delays who are missing very obvious milestones like walking and talking.

Gosh it makes me sad they’d assess so young. poor kids.

Thank you!

There are quite a few things that are pretty obvious at 18 months.

Gross motor skills delay being one of them.
Problems responding to stimuli (even a shy child will respond, that’s a different development point than no response).

If you go to groups or classes, even as a non professional you’ve probably clocked by the end of the class any child who’s not in the normal range for the age. And any parents who are hard work.

Given what has been comming out about children entering the learning environment totally unprepared, not potty trained and unable to do basic age approproate tasks..... I'd say the assesment is totally fair. However if this doesnt align with your views, then choose a different school.

"But if your child is rather shy they may do all of the above but not in front of strangers is the point I am trying to make"

By 18m they should be used to playing in a group environment with other children. The assessor can watch from a safe distance.

If the 18m old doesnt have the confidence to explore & play then that's showing they aren't being socialised enough.

If you are referring to my post-

I didn’t mention SEN. you are all assuming they don’t want SEN. Without any facts.

BTW, they would be doing you a huge huge favour if they were assessing your child for SEN and giving you an early “diagnosis” at 18 months. Nothing better for a SEN child than early diagnosis.

Oh that goes against all evidence and stages of play that researchers have spent years researching. But of course you now better.

pathways.org/kids-learn-play-6-stages-play-development/

Perhaps. But at 18m he is not potty trained.

To me it's no more bizarre than assessing a three year old, but that's bonkers too.
How these kids end up coping with the real world is beyond me.

Gosh I'm not really sure what an assessment at 18 months would really achieve.

Not all children will be properly walking at that age, talking will be in the early stages still, almost all will still be in nappies.

Health visitors/nurseries/childminders do a 2 year check between ages 2 -3 years because that's actually when there's something of a bit more substance to observe.

I'd guess it's probably just as much to filter out the parents as the children at that age.

The school wants to take the fees but whilst only taking on pupils that will make them look good without the teaching staff really having to do too much work. That's not the environment I'd want for my child.

Why "poor kids"? They wouldn't have a clue they were being assessed, and you've said the school is rubbish anyway so hardly a loss if they aren't accepted. All seems a bit melodramatic. You don't want your kid there, so don't apply there. No need for all the hand wringing about putting toddlers through exams.

Slightly older but have a read of the 3 and 4 plus threads. People tutor from age 2. That to me is “poor kids” who do have a clue they’re being assessed as they spend their weekends being tutored for it.

OP, private school is a different level altogether. It is not just a school you are sending your child to, it is a whole new lifestyle you will be buying into. Your child will be exposed to more opportunities at private school and a good one will get the best exam results out of them. Expectations are very high, both of behaviour (which isn't a bad thing) and academically. Academic children will rise to the challenge and thrive. Other children do not cope so well in high pressured environments. Some children will be pushed by their families, and for them anything less than an A is failure, they will do every extra curricular that they have time for, and will be pushed there too. I don't know what your financial situation is, but you may well meet families who have an elitist view on the world, and have less empathy and understanding of broader societal issues. One thing they do understand though is the private school system and what it entails. I am not saying that you shouldn't send your child to private school - the advantages are well known. But don't be surprised by assessments, tests, exams - whatever, at such a young age. This is just the start of it. It's part of that world.

Then how come out of 20 schools I’ve researched only 1 has an exam at 18 months? Read the thread. It is shocking if the other 19 don’t do it?

That’s the fault of the parents. There is no need for tutoring. We have just been through the process and we didn’t find it stressful at all, and nor did DS. We treated each assessment as a play date and he was completely fine with it.

He doesn’t go to a nursery that preps children for the assessments and we didn’t prepare him either, yet he did really well. For the 4+, they basically want to see if your child is confident, listens and follows instructions and understands what’s happening. No amount of tutoring will solve that if there’s a 3/4 year old who struggles with any of that.

The 4+ really isn’t that a big deal. It’s the parents stressing over it that make it stressful. Of course there will be children that cry at being separated from their parents, but if the child cries too much they take them back to their parents so it’s hardly cruel.

Because they’re trying to keep up their illusion of being elitist. And because they want to root out children who they feel will be difficult.

Of course there will be children that cry at being separated from their parents

Good God what have we become?

Because it’s not normal for small children to cry…?