To sit an exam at 18 months?

[Name90210]

Sorry if this double posts, the app seems glitchy today!

AIBU or is this really the case…?

I have spent a lot of time reading about the various exams for North London prep schools and we already feel “put off” by schools assessing at aged 3 for a spot at age 4. But that seems to be the norm so we shall accept that!

However, AIBU that a prep school nursery wants to assess my 18 month old for a spot when he turns 2? I feel it’s not right to judge an 18 month old, and he is still rather clingy and very shy in new environments given his age. So I feel uncomfortable that they’d be watching him play and assessing if he’s good enough. HE IS 18 MONTHS…..

AIBU that this is bizarre?

Maybe they have found that by screening at 2 they don't need to 'manage out' so many at 4.
Selective schools pick their pupils, whether that is a private school age 4 or a state grammar sixth form at 16.

Sounds awful

They are a business entitled to ask whatever they want. Presumably there are enough parents happy with that to sustain them.

I wouldnt give it any more thought

It's a daft age to assess, my daughter was a nightmare at 18 months, huge tantrums, wouldn't do anything you wanted her to, climbed everything, ran away as much as she could, would never join in with group activities etc. Now she's 4 and in reception and she is the complete opposite, loves reading and writing, spends ages drawing, loves joining in and is a delight at school.

Bloody North London.
I presume your toddler already plays the violin, has a black belt and is ‘forming basic sentences’ in French, English and Greek -
otherwise forget it!! Yanbu

I am alzo pro private. This school has some of the lowest results too whereas the better ones with better facilities don’t do these assessments. So it’s not elite.

Maybe. I just find it weird that none of the top 20 prep schools with nurseries in London do assessments for their nurseries and this one does. It’s not even very desired!

That’s exactly what I thought!!! At 18m all kids are rather difficult!

It’s a business and they must find it works for them. It will put parents off if they are worried their child won’t ‘pass’ so will attract a certain type of parent who is unfazed by testing of small children.
No school is going to openly say we don’t want children with possible sen, they’ll say no place or not a good fit.

He's not two yet though, he's one and a half. At his age using his mum as a shield in unfamiliar situations is entirely appropriate for his stage of development, so surely he would pass? It is very difficult to screen out SEND at this stage as these behaviours only become inappropriate when the child is older and should have developed beyond hiding behind mum, etc. This is why most children with pervasive developmental disorders like autism tend not to be diagnosed very early but later, when they should have grown out of it but haven't. (Some still present very very typically or with extreme behaviours that raise red flags at a very early age, but most don't)

It won't do anyone any harm if they assess him for a potential place, but if you feel it's not the setting you're comfortable with using then sure, look elsewhere.

I remember years ago watching a programme about children being assessed for a pre prep. There was a dad who looked so proud of his little girl and was upset when she didn't get in. It was quite sad.

It’s the first time I’ve heard of an 18m assessment. In all of the schools we’ve looked at. Including top central London prep schools.

It may actually be that one of the purposes is to make it seem much more 'elite' and popular than it is. For some people telling them they might not get a place makes them want it much more. There are quite a lot of private schools who aren't the big names who do this to an extent - they go on about entrance exams, selection etc but actually their admission policy is 'if you can pay the fees you're in'. It's quite a good marketing tactic - it makes the parents feel good and special that their child 'earned a place' (that they were always going to get). Whether it's ethical to put children, of any age, through a pointless 'selection' process is a different question.

Agree with PP that its to screen for SEN.
It also has the effect of creating a ladder of engagement.

If you've taken your child to an "exam" and experienced anxiety about whether he "makes the cut" you may feel more bought into the process.

Instead of looking at the nursery critically and thinking about whether it meets your families needs, you are redirected into wondering if your child is good enough for them.

Its a form of marketing.

@unlimiteddilutingjuice and @MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned This actually makes perfect sense. It’s not at all the most “popular” and every other prep nursery we’ve looked at, including very well known prep school nurseries, do not have assessments for 18m olds. So maybe it is all about making us feel that way.

But it failed because we now aren’t paying the registration fee or going to the school for the assessment and they are missing out on 11 years of fees for 3 kids!

Do they get automatic entry at 4 from nursery, or is then a new assessment?

They are just looking for easy children probably. Not the ones like mine who climbed everything in sight, didn't speak or chattered constantly (depending whether DD1 or DD2) and couldn't sit still. Who are now top set at Secondary....

Ita all nonsense. Its nonsense at 4. Its still slightly nonsense at 11!

You’ll be fine unless he has any obvious delay or needs.

I have been the assessor of 2 year olds (lol) and now with a 2 year old myself I see how vague it all is. My 2 year old is bright and ‘ahead’ in terms of her speech and physical development (I can be objective about this) but I know she’d never show her ability in the sessions we did at my school. I do think she’d ‘pass’ but no one would be raving about her being amazing.

At age 2 if they are sort of hiding behind their parents would they fail the assessment? He’d never show anything in front of anyone as he’ll just be quite shy in a new environment!

It sounds bizarre to me if they were deciding whether to take the child at all.

My DC went to a pre-school in the US and the director asked to meet them when they were 18 months old (9 months before they would start at the school). One of my DC had just learned to walk and was 6 months behind on everything, verbal, cognitive, fine and gross motor skills. The director suggested that they go into the once a week toddler class where parents were there too instead of the two year old program which was two mornings a week on their own. In that case the assessment was just to see which program would fit them better, not whether or not they would take them at all.

Per other posters it is to at least attempt to screen out SEN.
Ridiculous policy as if it were that easy to know if your child has SEND then wouldn’t we have blanket screening by HCPs during HV checks?
From experience an early years setting screening for SEN (and calling whatever) is NOT a place you want to be. The practice is likely unlawful (it is at least a grey zone) and results in teaching staff who are all about children being a “problem” or “difficult” rather than staff who understand that teaching needs to be inclusive, kind, child centred and who are willing to learn and keel themselves up to date on techniques for this.
Our DC attended an assent for a reception place at a famous prep- was selected on the “first round” (just think about how horrible a statement that is … the children are 3…!) attended for one term and was effectively excluded because the teachers hadn’t picked up on his autism. He was ultimately excluded for his disability…! We went through a term of utter hell, in which we tried to support the school to better understand how to work with him - the school refused to participate.
He is now at a non selective state primary and doing excellently, without any special support merely teachers with a kind, patient and loving attitude.

Knowing what I know now I would always avoid an environment that was selective at such a young age.

Fascinating. At that age I was assessing schools to see if they were fit for my dc, not the other way round.

It’s actually hilarious to think that exclusive schools might be trying to filter out ND dc. We’re in the Digital Age, in a fast changing economic landscape and Industrial Age School models are no longer fit for purpose.

The current school system is losing and actively damaging dc who don’t fit in to an educational model based on compliance and crowd control. But the pillars of the 21st century economy are entrepreneurs, creatives and tech.

I’m drafting an email to “reject” our place at the assessment!

They'll probably flag that as potential sen. Our DC with autism was the same at that age (still is now, quiet and anxious at school, chatty and happy at home)
Doesn't at all mean yours is autistic, but it will be a warning sign they're looking to exclude incase it is.

I would also consider the impact of being around all the very confident outgoing children too, it's likely to end up with a high rate of bullies and overbearing personalities than somewhere accepting a normal demographic of the population.

I see. I always thought that was developmentally typical to be quiet and hiding behind parents etc? I read many threads about that. I hadn’t thought about autism. I’ll look into it.

Many 18mos will be shy around strangers. Others will be completely fine.

Otherwise... why would nurseries, even schools do settling in sessions?