To sit an exam at 18 months?

[Name90210]

Sorry if this double posts, the app seems glitchy today!

AIBU or is this really the case…?

I have spent a lot of time reading about the various exams for North London prep schools and we already feel “put off” by schools assessing at aged 3 for a spot at age 4. But that seems to be the norm so we shall accept that!

However, AIBU that a prep school nursery wants to assess my 18 month old for a spot when he turns 2? I feel it’s not right to judge an 18 month old, and he is still rather clingy and very shy in new environments given his age. So I feel uncomfortable that they’d be watching him play and assessing if he’s good enough. HE IS 18 MONTHS…..

AIBU that this is bizarre?

I thought that but PP has said otherwise.

You’re being unreasonable calling it an exam.

They’re wanting to meet the child and the parents and work out if things are likely to work. Rather than discover that when start and it’s a major issue all round.

It’s worked, because they’re clearly into assessments and you’re not - so you’ve gone elsewhere.

At 18 months you can get a good idea whether they can move around independently, follow what’s going on around a room.

Assessments at this age are really common, health visitors used to do them for all children. They’re not looking for pass fail on specific skills, but across a range to see if is within the expected range for the age. So a child who’s below the range in everything may struggle in a ‘high end of normal’ environment. That’s not good for the child or the nursery.

Assessing a child at 18 months inevitably means they are assessing you, as well. Sounds a bit grim tbh, OP.

The school uses both the word exam and assessment. So it’s their language.

@Name90210 it is developmentally normal.
Please don’t worry yourself.

But many children are wary of new environments at this age as a lot of research has shown. So it may take an 18m old longer than 15-20 mins to show all of this.

Our younger DC is 20 month old and doesn't seem to be autistic. She generally laughs when people speak to her, will hand things to strangers or look at them while they talk to her, likes to try to make people laugh, will walk around alone happily in a busy place like toddler group as she wants to explore.

There is a range, but I think generally it's more common for toddlers to be somewhat comfortable around other people than to be very nervous and shy.
Obviously she has her off moments such as if she's tired or has a cold, but there is a huge difference between her and our eldest at this age.

OP, I think the phrase 'North London prep schools' tells you everything you need to know, to be honest. Prepare yourself to be judged and assessed, and walk away as necessary.

You ask. But you are already challenging their methods so this may be one of the things they don't want. They want quiet compliant families where mummy or nanny will drop them off with a cheery wave. Not parents who openly question their methods.

I was reading the 4+ thread, baulking at the idea of needing a year of tutoring from the age of TWO in the hope of getting a place at one of these elite schools. Children being ejected from the assessment if they burst into tears because they’re clearly not up to standard.

How the other half live, eh?

Whenever there’s a discussion about state grammar schools, people are invariably up in arms about the elitism of the process, and the unfairness of children being “written off” aged ten.

And yet we have THIS level of elitism and “writing off” preschoolers in the private sector.

It is developmentally appropriate. Some NT kids will do it, some don't. Some ND kids do it, some don't. It is nothing at all to indicate you need to 'look into' anything at this stage - please don't find yourself something new to worry about, I'm sure like all parents of 18 month olds you're busy enough!

They're assessing you, too, Op. The relationship you have with your child, your attitude to discipline etc..

Childminders and nurseries do the same thing when you visit them to look for childcare.

Okay! I disagree about most toddlers being not shy and goes against everything I’ve read.

Most prep nurseries and private nurseries I know haven’t asked for children to come on the open day though. So they don’t do the same.

Thank you!! I needed to read this as a poster has sent me on a spiral.

Why on earth would you want to put your child in a school/nursery that would test and then reject an 18 month old baby for not being clever/advanced enough?

Seems like its a bit over the top to me and do you really want your child to go to a school that is already weeding out the kids they don't want, rather than offering a kind and inclusive environment for all children?

To make it clear I am not! I didn’t know this was a thing until they emailed me to book in for the exam! I won’t be sending them there!!

Yes please don’t worry about an 18 month old being shy and hiding near you in a new environment. It’s totally appropriate and sensible. You are where they are safe!!

I was privately educated. This doesn't surprise me at all. They screen the families, not just the child.

But why just this one school and no others do at such a young age??

But it isn't an exam......it's an assessment and if you want your child to have a place at that particular establishment you have to suck up their entry criteria and put up with it.
As others have pointed out, they might not want children with obvious SEN problems as these are best signposted to the right places for their own specific needs - I am sure every parent in that situation would want that anyway.

But you cannot tell at 18m?

Don't over think this, OP. It's really simple:

They don't want a child who may use up their time, require more input, or who may receive complaints from other parents. Yes, it feels unfair, but they are running a business.

They also don't want a parent who doesn't 'fit in' to their class, culture, way of dressing, etc., so it's just as much about you as your DC. Yes, this is also unfair, but they will have an 'image' to uphold.

As others have said, it is you who is also being assessed.

Most of the school we looked at had this - assessment. And no, it wasnt to exclude SEN kids - there were kids there with SEN. I felt it was more to see if the child would fit in, and also, what the parents were like.