to be annoyed that my dp gets paid a fortune and just coasts....

[PosieParker]

Today my dp's equal has been promoted to a new post that makes him my dp's boss and I'm really angry. I'm annoyed that my dp just coasts in his role and complains and doesn't try new things or work his arse off for his pay. Quite ridiculous to be annoyed as it keeps us in a nice lifestyle and I cannot work out why I'm so angry but I could cry with temper.
Is it my business, even? When he told me I went nuts and I can't explain why. Pregnancy? Jealousy? Worry? Over involved because I don't have my own job? I just don't know.
Trouble is I'm sure I've made a horrid situation worse for him but I couldn't help it and told him they'd (his bosses) had made him look stupid.

At what level of earnings do a person's feelings cease to matter?

Anyhow PP hasn't got any money though - there's the rub and IMO the source of her aggravation. She has what she would get on divorce and no more.

No reason to jump all over me, dittany.

So I didn't respond the way you would have liked?

Take a load off.

Being resentful. Okay. But it can go either two ways: the way Quattro pointed out or better.

Yours is an opinion more or less valid than anyone else's.

Not everything has a debate agenda.

Oh goodness no wonder she's uptight

I think you're brave to have started this thread. I could have predicted you'd get the following: 1)count your blessings and stop moaning 2) he earns how much? 3)go and get a nanny and a job.

The stuff about why you're miserable is interesting though. It does sound like your DH doesn't really value you and what you do. You've got a lot on your plate with three kids and a pregnancy, no matter how much money is floating around. I hope you find a way to feel more content.

Goodness me
Poor bloke
He earns £200k pa and still you want more from him

You remind me of that Wham song, Everything She Wants!

I for one am always on at dh to work less hard. To have more time at home. We don't need more money (if he wanted no life he could work every hour god sent, stick his tongue up the bottom of the appropriate people and earn a fortune) Why would he want that though? His life is at home as well as at work.

If you have a problem with childcare then you have to accept that you will be at home with the children. That is your choice. And your dh is providing very very well for you to do this.

Maybe you should get a job and he could stay at home.

Posie do you have any support here? You said your family are in Asia but what about dp's family, are they here?

Oh, Dittany - You just made me

PP has real reasons to be resentful! What a laugh!!!

Sounds like her DH is a bl**dy saint!

My DH can be pretty career oriented and does pretty well. I work FT too and I'm STILL expected to sort the house out Doesn't matter if I'm not quite in tune with my cleaning / baking / creative side that day

I think it was Quattro who said that living with a career minded man is not always the easiest.........

No, you can't just compare yourself to others and 'make' yourself feel better, but you can get over yourself.

the person with the problem is PP. the person who is angry is PP. the person who has to work out how to resolve that is PP (NOT PP's Dh / DP)!

PP sounds a bit depressed actually, great advice - get over yourself

well well Posieparker, you've found another forum to vent your spleen on. From what I recall you take most of your frustration out on firing the cleaner, ironing lady and gardener for not paying tax on the paltry amount they are paid. The poor rich me wears a bit thin time after time. Although a body like Kylie is a great line, even for you!

Get a job, get a focus, get a grip but get your own 'thing' is the best idea. Why don't you take your software package and pitch it to other businesses?

What's going on?

PP, my husband earns a very good salary (on par with yours) and I work full time. We have two children but I work for a company who allows flexible/home working.

I really really appreciate our lives and I fully realise just how hard he works. He works 5 mins from home although travels a fair bit.

Working myself in an industry full of men you need to be very careful that someone else doesnt give him a 'shoulder' to cry on when he says his wife doesnt understand. It happens all the time in my company.

Remember the famous question from Mrs Merton to Paul Daniel's wife 'what attracted you to the multi millionaire Paul Daniels'. There are plenty of women out there who will be ready to give your husband the sympathy he clearly deserves and stop interferring in his job. He can clearly manage without you.

Sorry to sound so harsh but you sound selfish and spoilt.

By the way, I agree with the other posters. Get yourself a job and stop having children when you are clearly a frustrated CEO.

trixterminxy, I don't have a gardener and have no idea what you're talking about firing the cleaner???

I would love a gardener, but I think I need a larger garden.... mistaken identity I think

if you arent happy then have you considered splitting up

you might fidn it worhtwhile thinking about working on the grounds that in the future things might change and you might regret having no work expereince ofr financial security

I'm not happy with me and everything else is sortable but not so small because of my own self worth.

Every girl should have a gardener (phnarr)

Well I have one anyway. Gives me time to do some vital MNing work.

By the way, are you worried about financial independence PP? I mean the advice
from one or two others about leaving your DP sounds a bit impossible without having either any money or income.

hmmm. ONly read op, but I remember my mum saying she was disappointed in what my dad had achieved re work.

I believe that it is not your business and unless asked for your opinion you should keep these feelings to yourself and focus all that energy on planning what you will do one day to satisfy your ambition and to make lots of money.

I agree I am looking into a couple of courses, no point starting a new job/career and so I'm looking at creative writing.

I think not PP.....was it the ironing lady you fired? The one who 'looks poor'?

Trix - that was another thread - bit unfair to frown at PP on this thread about it.