The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

[crazymomma93]

Long time lurker, please bear with me.
My DD12 has been having some issues with her reading book. It has been making her feel uncomfortable, from the Genre and style of writing. So I have looked into it, got a jist of the book, she has pointed out some bits that made her uneasy and I looked up the age rating which was 14+. Now typically if you knew me, you would know I am not "that Mom" but I emailed her Form Tutor to ask if there was an alternative. Tutor emailed back after talking to English dept and DD dosn't need to read the book any longer, she can bring in her own. No problem. My DD has just told me she spoke with her own English Tutor, the day before I sent the email to tell her Form Tutor. After listening to DD, English Tutor responds "it's just words"
ITS JUST WORDS? Sorry is that not pretty much the Tutors whole career, teaching English?
I need calming because I am close to emailing said teacher calling her a c**t, because, you know "it's just words". See how her feelings are when she reads something that makes her uncomfortable.
My DD turned to her to ask because the book was making her uneasy and that is the response. What about children who get verbally bullied? Where is this Womans morals. AIBU?

Good point. Look at the majority of the early Disney films. Some incredibly dark stories.

We read Stephen king and Richard Laymon at that age - James Herbert The rats was the most common free reading book in class. We also read Lace and Rivals at break 😂 can't see an issue with the book in question.

Oh dear. There goes my memory.

That was a pointless exercise unless it was an excerpt from the book being discussed; which I assume it wasn't.

The OP has now revealed it's Tom and Giovanna Fletcher's Eve of Man.

Richard Layman. Some serious blood and sex in his books. 😁

Look at Romeo and Juliet. Underage sex, violence and both main characters dead at the end. It was taught to us at age 13.

Although I think the OP's reaction is a bit extreme and v confrontational, I do agree with her point. If we don't think words are essential and powerful and beautiful then why on earth do we study English Literature and Language at all??
Words, especially in an extended piece like a novel, enter our minds, they are very powerful.
However if she's in secondary then unless she has experienced trauma she is going to be expected to read what is on the syllabus.

It’s not a great text for that. There wouldn’t have been children living in Auschwitz and wandering freely around the camp and there’s no way a Nazi commanders’ family would have been ignorant about what was going on. Bruno would have been prime fodder for Hitler youth. Also - why would a German boy not know the word fuhrer? It’s not taught in Jewish schools and there’s a reason for that.

I am an English teacher but not a brainless one and I don’t really think my hardworking colleagues should be referred to as ‘brainless’ either. If the text isn’t suitable, choose a different one. Children develop at different rates.

And you, along with many others, are 'that' poster.

I feel that people's comprehension skills are off here.

What a pile on.

Some of them were pretty sick iirc @ARealitycheck 😂

Is The Handmaid’s Tail a cartoon version featuring mice? 😅 🐭

To be fair, I am not a fan of the Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, and I would hardly say it informs about history. But I wouldn’t shout at a librarian: I’d just discuss the book with my child.

Not a mainstream curriculum book I don't think. It was a short novel about a group of misfit boys at a summer camp. I had been the misfit all my school life (my earliest memory of being told I couldn't join a group goes right back to preschool) and despite secondary being better I was overidentifying with all the themes we were supposed to be exploring. Cue many hours of my mother's time spent in my room when I couldn't sleep and so on. She's told me since that she too hadn't appreciated until that point quite how much I still felt I didn't belong etc.

And on this thread we have someone contemplating reading it with their 8 year old, crazy MN!
www.mumsnet.com/talk/what_were_reading/3267415-Eve-of-Man?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Have you discussed the book with your DD and asked her why it makes her uncomfortable? She may learn a lot more from that discussion than she would from the teacher who says, "It's just words."

What book is she reading instead OP?

My worry would be if the rest of her class are reading the other book, discussing and writing about it. Your Dd will be the only one not? Which may lead to her being more upset in the long-term.

I felt the same about On the Beach. But it did me good, it informed my thinking and my political views. It made me angry that the world could feasibly be in that position - which was all too real a threat when I read the book as a young teenager.

It made me feel uncomfortable, upset, scared - but ultimately shaped me as a human being and I will always be pleased I read it at that impressionable age.

I agree, I would very much dispute that TBITSP has anything much at all to do with history. And thinking so is pretty dangerous. But I also would not shout at a librarian.

@crazymomma93 I think you need to probe a bit further what the teacher actually said. If as others suggest the phrase "just words" was at the end of a longish discussion about the book, then I think it's OK. If the English teacher just dismissed your DD with the phrase and nothing else then it's not great.

I would leave it tho – sounds as tho it is all good with the form tutor. Maybe discuss with your DD how some books make us feel uncomfortable and that that may be the author’s intention. I read Beloved (not suggesting it for a 12yo!) and I found it extremely difficult; not a book I want to read again, not a book I enjoyed, but powerful and very shocking and thus well worth reading.

I can assure you that you don't want to know.
I'm no delicate flower, I have had training on harrowing areas of safeguarding and coped fine, but this was something else and MN rightly deleted it.

It's just words...just like sticks and stones will break my bones but names can never hurt me. Only they do, don't they?we now know that words do have a profound effect and some children are naturally more sensitive.
A good chance to sit with your DD and discuss the book. I'm not saying she should be made to read it, but it may help to support her through what's bothering her about it x

I agree. There’s that quote about how the job of good literature is to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.

Yes, nothing raises the spirits on a cold January night after a full day of teaching and a Parents' Evening quite like reading that someone wants to email their child's teacher and call them a 'cunt' instead of engaging in a sensible conversation about this (clearly) life or death situation.

I don't know if the family of camp commanders did live near the camps or not. But what I do think striped pyjamas gives a good impression of, is that those working these camps did not view the prisoners as even human. It is only when a German child is a victim did it strike them that they were people. So I do think the book has merit.

This. That's really bothered me.

Sorry but I would agree with the tutor. They are just words.
Sticks and stones