Ex kicking off over present

[Woodstocks]

My step child turned 8 last week and wanted expensive branded rugby boots. My husband gifted them to him but bought a used pair. Now his ex is kicking off and spoiling the present for the son by berating the present because they aren’t brand new shoes.

Are we unreasonable for not buying a growing child brand new boots that get used once a week at practice? We ourselves also buy the majority of clothes from charity shops.

The way the request was phrased it sounded like the son asked for the boots and then got told to ask his dad for them (probably because they aren’t brand expensive!) and now she’s kicking off that he doesn’t love his son and doesn’t want good things for him because of this.

All I can say is the people saying its gross . Any sports hockey football rugby they always pass boots over kids grow so fast and these were an expensive brand. But they weren't just being bought for useage they were bought as a birthday present that leaves me a little uncomfortable if you couldn't afford the brand he should have been told second hand in those or brand new in a different brand but that's just me I do feel presents should be a little special though I am all for and do use second hand shops not as gifts though

My 8 year old saw some low heeled boots in River Island.They were £40. No way was I paying that so she can wear them a handful of times. I saw them on Vinted, nearly new for £5 including delivery. I had one very happy girl on Xmas day! She’s also into a lot of obscure anime stuff that’s limited edition so she gets a lot of clothes and merchandise 2nd hand - and she knows it’s all 2nd hand and doesn’t care in the slightest. She’s just totally happy she got the thing she wanted as I’m sure the OPs stepson was!

We shop in charity shops, vinted etc but I’ve always brought new shoes, football boots etc
My parents always brought us new shoes when we were small, despite having to watch every penny and when my first was born they said if I struggled to keep up with his ever growing feet to let them know and they would purchase them, because shoes pick up the ‘faults’ of the previous wearer.
I don’t know how true that is for lightly worn shoes, but that phrase from them has stuck in my brain.
My footballing child has very particular tastes in trainers and football boots/astros, his are worn a fair bit but we always offer them to the football club to pass on because it seems having slightly worn popular brands of shoes are better then new less popular brands in the eyes of the children.
I don’t think I would have brought a used pair for his birthday present, because they are expensive both my older boys have a shoe budget for football boots/trainers of £35 from me. If they want a pair that is more expensive they fund the difference themselves, so for a recent birthday one of my boys asked relatives for money towards new football boots, I paid the first £35 (because you can buy a decent pair for that money) and then he added the rest from
his birthday money.
Could your stepsons parents not have gone halves on a new pair? That seems the easiest way to purchase bigger ticket items.

All these perfect people on here with clearly lots of money 🙄 does nobody wash there trainers or boots anymore 🤔 my kids trainers get washed in the washer same with boots what is wrong with buying a second hand pair if there in good condition and washing them 🤔 NOTHING. Not everyone has the same finances and from the look of some of these replies no one has ever had hand me downs there a pair of boots ffs that will last him 12 months if there lucky if he was 18 yes 100% by new but at this age absolutely no point. He requested boots you gave him boots you've done what was asked no your not being unreasonable if his mother wants him to have brand new then tell her to get them 🙄

Lots of things are great second hand (I buy lots of very nice work suits on Vinted) but not shoes so much. And not sports shoes really. Unless sold as unused. Also maybe a bit mean to get as a present unless an extra or money is really tight. I don’t recall that any junior rugby boots were over £50 and most were around £35. Even the good ones. Obviously it’s relative to what you have to spend but on the face of it a pair of used rugby boots is not a great 8th birthday present.

What in the name of Thatchers wet dream consumerism is wrong with this thread 😂😂

I’m assuming the boots were in a good condition - absolutely nothing wrong with second hand occasional wear shoes for growing kids.

No wonder we’ve got a massive issue with mountains of rubbish and too many billionaires 🤦‍♀️

Queen Elizabeth used to get a staff member to wear new shoes for a couple of days first to break them in, so they were softened up and comfortable by the time the queen wore them for long engagements (allegedly). If used rugby boots are in good condition, I honestly can't see how they would damage feet as long as they fit properly. It's not like they're shoes that the previous owner has worn for hours daily for months and worn the heels down on one side, for example.

The OP said the shoes looked New, she even thought they were. So he wasn't gifted disgusting moldy muddy shoes. I'm just sorry his mum took all the joy out from his gift...