Page 7 | Step son used my bath towel

Green0911 · 2025-01-19T01:31:06+00:00

Want to gauge if IABU here. My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine. I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion. AIBU?

Poppins21 · 19/01/2025 05:30

BettyBardMacDonald · 19/01/2025 05:28

@Poppins21

That's what we do, too.

I saw it in my posh hairdressers and thought I like this idea. Glad I am not the only one.

Nonaynevernomore · 19/01/2025 05:32

BettyBardMacDonald · 19/01/2025 05:26

Whether he shares her sentiments or not, undermining her by laughing off her concerns is obnoxious.

I realize this thread has become a gleeful race to the bottom (waiting for "our family of six shares one towel changed every three weeks, and it also does double duty lining the dog's bed at night") by people with low or no standards, but some of us prefer a more elevated aesthetic.

Someone else's skin cells and bacteria on a damp towel is a turn-off.

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But absolutely nothing to blow a fuse over! Perspective when dealing with teenagers is everything.

Do you think it’s acceptable to blow a fuse over a minor minor demeanour? What happens when something slightly worse than this happens, will the teen feel like they can approach their parent/step parent?

Is that a good way to raise teens?

I find your backing the OP ridiculous in the circumstances, hopefully OP reading all these comments will realise that she is being unreasonable and act more rationally in the future.

SeethingHarpie · 19/01/2025 05:33

Obviously I am in the minority, but I see using someone else’s towel the same way I would see using someone else’s toothbrush.

No way would I share a toothbrush with anyone, and same for a towel. If that is the OPs own feelings, then surely that should be something she is allowed to enforce in her own home?

isthismylifenow · 19/01/2025 05:34

What are you feelings on drying hands on a kitchen tea towel OP?

Nonaynevernomore · 19/01/2025 05:34

mathanxiety · 19/01/2025 05:24

YANBU.

He should not have used anyone else's towel.

He should have gone to the airing cupboard and found a fresh one if his was in the basket waiting for a wash.

Ask him not to do that ever again, and to remember this life lesson when he heads off to university or any other communal situation where other people's towels are left hanging.

I think her blowing a fuse may be enough and no need to ask him never to do that again!

Caerulea · 19/01/2025 05:34

SimplyReadHead · 19/01/2025 05:28

There are 6 people in my house and WE ALL SHARE THE SAME TOWELS.

Didn’t occur to me that it was gross!

But...but what about the elevated aesthetic?! 😂

BettyBardMacDonald · 19/01/2025 05:36

@Poppins21 it's so much nicer to use a fresh one each time. And they don't amount to any more laundry when thrown in with the bath towels.

mathanxiety · 19/01/2025 05:37

BeaAndBen · 19/01/2025 04:25

He didn’t use “your” towel, he used “a” towel. One that was in the bathroom. And then he used it again. And a third time.

A teenager showered regularly, dried his freshly washed body with a towel in the bathroom and hung that towel back up. And for that you blew a fuse…

A teenager washed!

Glory Hallelujah and shut the door!!!

Silly OP! Don't you understand you're in the presence of something very special here?

How little we expect of teenage boys...

Poppins21 · 19/01/2025 05:38

isthismylifenow · 19/01/2025 05:34

What are you feelings on drying hands on a kitchen tea towel OP?

lol raising the stakes! I have kitchen roll for drying my hands in the kitchen but I wash my hands like a surgeon before cooking. And I do not have tea towels out in the kitchen I get a fresh one out when I cook as I can’t trust the monsters I live with not to do things like that -so they only have access to kitchen roll.

Poppins21 · 19/01/2025 05:39

BettyBardMacDonald · 19/01/2025 05:36

@Poppins21 it's so much nicer to use a fresh one each time. And they don't amount to any more laundry when thrown in with the bath towels.

Exactly 👍

BettyBardMacDonald · 19/01/2025 05:40

Exactly, @mathanxiety

The poor teens, can't expect basic consideration and situational awareness from them, that might hurt their little feelings. And then they grow up to be the useless arseholes that are complained about here day in, day out.

PreferMyAnimals · 19/01/2025 05:56

Growlybear83 · 19/01/2025 05:02

😂😂😂😂😂. Just how dirty and smelly are the members of your family that you all need to change towels after every use? And how many towels do you wash in a week? 😮😮😮

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We shower every day, so we're very clean. It's just a preference. Do some reading about reusing towels. It's gross. 1 towel per person, per day, unless I wash my hair, then I need one to wrap around that before I dry myself first. Otherwise it all just drips down my back. 8 towels a day, 9 on hair washing days for me. My washing, my problem, doesn't affect you.

Melonjellies · 19/01/2025 05:57

We all share towels in this house. They get used once or twice and once too wet they go in the wash.
What exactly do you think will happen to you. He's not made of poison. He's had a wash and got dried. You stand in the same bath as him. Use the same pots and pans. Share the same washing machine. I presume you have been in a swimming pool etc in your lifetime

You will survive. You also sound very posh so maybe I'm a commoner with no hygiene.

PreferMyAnimals · 19/01/2025 05:58

Poppins21 · 19/01/2025 05:38

lol raising the stakes! I have kitchen roll for drying my hands in the kitchen but I wash my hands like a surgeon before cooking. And I do not have tea towels out in the kitchen I get a fresh one out when I cook as I can’t trust the monsters I live with not to do things like that -so they only have access to kitchen roll.

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If I'm washing my hands to prepare food, I grab a clean one to dry my hands, sometimes multiple clean ones if I wash more than once and I've used the other one a few times. Never been any food poisoning in my house.

crumblingschools · 19/01/2025 06:02

Thing is this thread shows the difference between people who have a normal level of hygiene and those who go to the extreme. Washing towels after every use, having a flannel for every hand wash, not letting some people in the house even use a towel is extreme (and horrendously wasteful and I assume comes from a position of reasonable income). If you are someone who goes to these lengths do you sneer at families who can’t afford to wash towels after every use, or live somewhere where this constant washing of towels isn’t possible (I’m guessing you have your own washing machine and don’t have to get a bus to the launderette)

We do have separate bath towels in this house, but the downstairs loo has one hand towel.

We are not a family that washes them after every use. We seem to survive and are not regularly ill.

If the SS shows regular disregard to things in the house and is regularly rude to SM then being angry with him and his dad’s attitude might be justified (ie he deliberately used SM’s towel to wind her up). If genuine mistake then a calm chat with him wouid suffice. I’m guessing the issue with someone always having to remember to take a towel with him into the bathroom can sometimes lead to having to grab one that isn’t yours.

kittycloud · 19/01/2025 06:03

If this is real then YABU. It's just a towel, if he's getting bollocked for using the wrong towel, it can't be a very pleasant household to live in. If you don't want anyone to use your towels, just keep them seperately, and supply the bathroom with towels for everyone instead, much simpler. Try to relax a bit OP, he's not robbed a bank.

PreferMyAnimals · 19/01/2025 06:05

crumblingschools · 19/01/2025 06:02

Thing is this thread shows the difference between people who have a normal level of hygiene and those who go to the extreme. Washing towels after every use, having a flannel for every hand wash, not letting some people in the house even use a towel is extreme (and horrendously wasteful and I assume comes from a position of reasonable income). If you are someone who goes to these lengths do you sneer at families who can’t afford to wash towels after every use, or live somewhere where this constant washing of towels isn’t possible (I’m guessing you have your own washing machine and don’t have to get a bus to the launderette)

We do have separate bath towels in this house, but the downstairs loo has one hand towel.

We are not a family that washes them after every use. We seem to survive and are not regularly ill.

If the SS shows regular disregard to things in the house and is regularly rude to SM then being angry with him and his dad’s attitude might be justified (ie he deliberately used SM’s towel to wind her up). If genuine mistake then a calm chat with him wouid suffice. I’m guessing the issue with someone always having to remember to take a towel with him into the bathroom can sometimes lead to having to grab one that isn’t yours.

No, I don't sneer at people who don't change their towels after every use. That's up to them and doesn't affect me, so I don't care what they do.

Yes, I have my own washer and dryer and outside line.

catin8oots · 19/01/2025 06:07

Melonjellies · 19/01/2025 05:57

We all share towels in this house. They get used once or twice and once too wet they go in the wash.
What exactly do you think will happen to you. He's not made of poison. He's had a wash and got dried. You stand in the same bath as him. Use the same pots and pans. Share the same washing machine. I presume you have been in a swimming pool etc in your lifetime

You will survive. You also sound very posh so maybe I'm a commoner with no hygiene.

You are normal.

Poppins21 · 19/01/2025 06:08

crumblingschools · 19/01/2025 06:02

Thing is this thread shows the difference between people who have a normal level of hygiene and those who go to the extreme. Washing towels after every use, having a flannel for every hand wash, not letting some people in the house even use a towel is extreme (and horrendously wasteful and I assume comes from a position of reasonable income). If you are someone who goes to these lengths do you sneer at families who can’t afford to wash towels after every use, or live somewhere where this constant washing of towels isn’t possible (I’m guessing you have your own washing machine and don’t have to get a bus to the launderette)

We do have separate bath towels in this house, but the downstairs loo has one hand towel.

We are not a family that washes them after every use. We seem to survive and are not regularly ill.

If the SS shows regular disregard to things in the house and is regularly rude to SM then being angry with him and his dad’s attitude might be justified (ie he deliberately used SM’s towel to wind her up). If genuine mistake then a calm chat with him wouid suffice. I’m guessing the issue with someone always having to remember to take a towel with him into the bathroom can sometimes lead to having to grab one that isn’t yours.

I wash my towels a lot but I have not sneered at anyone who doesn’t do things my way. I just said what I do in my home. It is you that said the way you do things is “normal”.

I also said I didn’t think blowing a fuse was a great way to handle things.

Glittertwins · 19/01/2025 06:09

I'd be more unhappy at wet towels in a bedroom and the room getting damp!

crumblingschools · 19/01/2025 06:09

How do people cope with the copious washing of towels and single use of hand towels when on holiday? Do you have a suitcase full of flannels and towels? What about swim towels can they be used twice if you are spending a day at the beach or pool, or don’t you go anywhere like that as will be going in water where other people are

PreferMyAnimals · 19/01/2025 06:12

crumblingschools · 19/01/2025 06:09

How do people cope with the copious washing of towels and single use of hand towels when on holiday? Do you have a suitcase full of flannels and towels? What about swim towels can they be used twice if you are spending a day at the beach or pool, or don’t you go anywhere like that as will be going in water where other people are

I bring enough to supplement the ones that are provided with the accommodation.

When I visited someone who reuses their towels for a week and doesn't have enough towels for a family my size, I bought disposable single use towels (flimsy things but did the job) and used those.

I'm well aware that changing towels every day isn't what most people do, it's a personal choice. Relative above did some reading about reusing towels after my visit and decided that they really did need to change twice a week after that.

Beach and pool towels that have got wet get treated the same as any other towel. Though I don't tend to swim in pools as my skin doesn't like it now.

Nonaynevernomore · 19/01/2025 06:12

BettyBardMacDonald · 19/01/2025 05:40

Exactly, @mathanxiety

The poor teens, can't expect basic consideration and situational awareness from them, that might hurt their little feelings. And then they grow up to be the useless arseholes that are complained about here day in, day out.

It’s the hormonal SMs, blowing their fuses over minor failings causing the issues in OPs house.

Imagine having to live like that! Worrying what minor thing you’ll do that will set off another OTT blowing of fuses.

Maybe, not put the toothpaste lid on, or leave the duvet crooked?

Poppins21 · 19/01/2025 06:12

crumblingschools · 19/01/2025 06:09

How do people cope with the copious washing of towels and single use of hand towels when on holiday? Do you have a suitcase full of flannels and towels? What about swim towels can they be used twice if you are spending a day at the beach or pool, or don’t you go anywhere like that as will be going in water where other people are

If you are staying in hotel you can also request more towels. And most air b and b have a washing machine. But you make changes to your normal rules on holiday - like eating out every night?

Nourishinghandcream · 19/01/2025 06:14

So he has typical teenager habits regarding personal hygiene but showered at least twice using your towel and presumably at least once using his towel (to get it wet) in the space of 3-4 days (the time you say the towels are in use).
Sounds fairly hygienic to me (for a teenager).