Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

I don't have periods: I've been using Mirena for nearly 20 years and am perimenopausal so my periods may have stopped anyway. But if I did, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Like any other normal person I would wash the towel and move on.

But it is ridiculous to be that fastidious about "secretions" with someone with whom you are sharing a bed and (presumably) having sex anyway. Unless you are furiously washing linen and underwear around the clock there will be "secretions" on your linen and clothes. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who clutched their pearls at the prospect of any of my "secretions" coming into contact with their body.

I've never understood how people who are this anal manage to have sex at all: sex is unavoidably messy and involves secretions.

No because that's a waste of water etc. I'm happy to reuse my own towel if it was a small stain and MY stain.

See, that's interesting. For me that is far grimmer than sharing towels with your own family but washing as soon as any dirt/stain/whatever gets on one.

As I said if you're drying in between your legs there is always something going on the towel

?? What? After you've showered? Or do you mean just once a month on your period?

I could not get worked ip about this. We use towels when we’ve just got out of the bath/shower so when we’re clean. No segregated towels in this house, unless someone is ill.

@NormaleKartoffeln have you not read the posts on here where someone has touched any form of towel it needs to be put in the laundry pile immediately, it cannot be reused. Going to the extreme of a new flannel for every time hands are washed

I have read the posts telling @Green0911 that she's ridiculous for wanting her own towel.

Fabric conditioners, wash detergents etc say 'dermatologically tested' - that's because there will always be surfactant residue on the washed items.

Basically washing towels after every use just increases your exposure to the chemical residue you are rubbing into your skin.

Washing towels after a single use is environmental vandalism

The blowing the fuse by the SM would bother me more! Totally out of order!

My siemens does a full 60 degrees in 54 minutes.

Only on MN do people share towels.
We have all got our own towels since the children were tots.
I wash them once a week. Thats it.
I am not looking for washing but sharing towels is utterly revolting.

Class and hygeine (under many heads), not mutually exclusive considerations by a long chalk. Nor class and nursing.

But, anyway, thanks to OP and you all for a genuinely interesting thread on an unexpected topic.

This made me laugh. I don't live in a hotel.

Each to their own ❤️

@NormaleKartoffeln

I have read the posts telling @Green0911 that she's ridiculous for wanting her own towel.

It's not so much that she's ridiculous for wanting her own towel, its that she's ridiculous for thinking this is a sufficiently big crime to bawl out her teenage stepson.

In any household, particularly one with a step-parent, you have to choose your battles. Losing your shit over something like this needlessly disturbs family harmony and leaves you with less in your armoury if the son does something really serious. If you've "blown a fuse" over a teenager using your towel, what are you going to do if you find cocaine in his bedroom or that he's failed to turn up for an exam.

<faints>

😁

@Machachacha

Only on MN do people share towels.
We have all got our own towels since the children were tots.
I wash them once a week. Thats it.
I am not looking for washing but sharing towels is utterly revolting

Why is it than when people learn that other people have different approaches to life they always default to "only on Mumsnet"?

Not only on Mumsnet. Lots of people share towels. You may not like it, and that's fine, but you don't need to do the faux naive "people are only saying it for shock value" thing. It's childish.

I share towels. I have done all my life. I'm never ill and don't get fungal infections etc. You're entitled to not do it if you like but stop being so blinkered about the fact that other people have different standards.

I generally hate people who virtue signal post this sort of thing on threads.

But must admit I did find myself thinking, "You must find life hard, OP". 😁

Exactly this. This thread is such an eye opener.

Don't forget we're dealing with some people on here who never actually wash their vulva. They just assume the shower water dripping down is doing that job. That thread was an eyeopener.

JandamiHash

I could NEVER imagine being so anal about towels.

The OP sounds like she's worried about DSS being all anal about her towel.

thepeopleversuswork The reason we have our own towels is not ‘secretions’ as such but the risk of fungus or virus infections which can be easily spread through sharing towels. Athlete’s foot is particularly common in teenage boys due to wearing damp trainers, for example. If it’s a choice between my family’s health or the environment, I’m sorry but my family comes first every time. Maybe selfish but I’m being honest.

My stepson sometimes does this too - but luckily (if you can call it that) he never hangs it back up, so I can tell he's done it. The difference is we have LOADS of spare towels, in the bathroom cupboard, it's just that he has to take 2 more steps to get to those than the ones hanging up. His is always in his bedroom, on the floor, he just always forgets to take it in with him. He has a rung on the towel warmer just like we do.

The more disgusting thing is that he often walks round while he's brushing his teeth, so leaves his brush in weird places. If his isn't to hand, he'll use one of ours. And then leave it somewhere. Now THAT'S disgusting.

EDIT: He's 21 btw.

I haven't had a period for nearly 30 years, so it doesn't apply to us. But before then, if the towel was stained in any way, of course it got washed straightaway and replaced.

Of course you can't guarantee that your partner has scrubbed his arsehole to within a millimetre of its life, but he can't be sure about you either. I was always under the impression that toilet paper was quite helpful in keeping your bum clean, rather than having to hose yourself down in the shower.

Im genuinely surprised that this would give you more than a minute or two's thought. I'm not trying to be pass ag I just can't imagine getting this upset over a towel.

Surely if you don’t share towels, you can wash them less often? I don’t share my towel, and it gets washed every fortnight. And only shower every 2nd day unless actually got sweaty. If someone else used my towel I wouldn’t use it again until it was washed though, I have skin issues and you never know what’s been left behind. Hand towels are slightly different and we share those, but they are replaced more often.

Honestly I'd find it a bit icky too (although it would depend how long I'd know him TBH), but I wouldn't blow my top about it - I'd just ask him why he didn't just get fresh ones from the cupboard.

I share towels with my kids (although as they've got older, we've all been a bit better about sticking to our own ones), I did with my ex, I'd try not to, but wouldn't freak out if I accidentally shared a towel with my parents or siblings.

Towels are used until I pick it up and it seems time to change it (smell, has been in a cold, damp bathroom) or if I get something on it it goes straight in the wash. My kids do the same. Look at the towel, change it if they feel it needs changing.

This is ridiculous, have you met any teenage boys?