Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

But I can understand the benefits of having children or using a car. I just cannot fathom the benefits of such waste. We have communal hands towels and individual bath towels, they get washed every week, maybe a bit more often for the hand towels if we've all been home. Tea towels and hand towels in the kitchen that get washed as and when. The towels are never damp or musty, always feel clean etc. That's six completely unnecessary washes (and doubtless tumble dryer runs) a week. So much wasted water. And the kitchen roll thing genuinely is awful. Reduce, reuse, recycle and all that.

It’s not a question of being happy. It’s a question of having a proportionate response. Objectively, nobody got hurt, nobody died and it can be fixed.

Same here!! Haven't got the headspace for petty things like this!

Eww, you leave the detached limbs lying around to fester?! That's just grim.

You need to raise your standards. Leprosy is no excuse for slovenly housekeeping.

@MrsTerryPratchett isnt a man- she was writing that as from the perspective of the teenage SS

Actually I posted statistics from several studies, earlier in the thread, about the amount of bacteria measured on a towel after even one use. Including e. Coli

It's not about getting sick, to those who keep jeering.

Some of us value actual cleanliness and the sensory enjoyment of clean, fresh towels, clothing and bedding, purely from an aesthetic/ quality of life standpoint.

I agree. I’m not impressed if my DP uses my bath towel far less a dc.

Teenage boys are generally not very good at remembering stuff or being pernickety about hygiene. You are setting him up to fail to not have his towels in the bathroom.

Of course it's horrible when someone uses your towel. I keep mine in my bedroom, as DH will use it every time i leave it in the bathroom. YWBVU to blow a fuse about it.

Again who cares!?!??

A question to all the people who say that everyone in their family has their own towels and would never dream of using anyone else's - most people I know have sets of matching towels, so how does everyone know which towel is theirs when they are all identical? And what size towel rail do you need to hold all the towels if you have several children?

So then it doesn’t matter whether someone reuses their own or someone else’s towels then?

Sorry, I’ve run out of towels to wrap them in! Even the massive bath towels from Waitrose are all sold out!

Why not just have a cupboard with towels in and he gets his own new one when his one goes in the wash? Why does he keep it in his room? Why does he have to wait until you give him a new one, instead of just getting his own? He probably thought his old one was dirty and felt awkward to ask for a new one. I would have been the same. It all sounds a bit weird and strangely formal.

Exactly this.

It’s disrespectful and, differing levels of germ phobia aside, I understand why you would feel angry about it.

I value rationale behaviour above statistics! But we are are all different, so don’t finger wag at me!

Depends on what ‘blowing a fuse’ consisted of. It’s quite common for kids to do this.

It’s your DH’s responsibility to set expectations for his son. He shouldn’t laugh this off. He should be having a chat to his son. To explain why he shouldn’t use anyone else’s bath towel.

We all have our own towelling bathrobes, so it avoids any confusion. May be a solution going forward. Or keep your towel in your bedroom.

Me either, but I'm now reading all those posts in the voice of Miriam Margoyles character Lady Whiteadder...

I’d laugh at someone blowing a fuse about this, if they’d spoken in a rationale manner, maybe I’d be more empathetic.

Jeez oh… you are being unreasonable. SS used a different towel (twice) - and it was yours…hardly the crime of the century!

FT Mum’s to teenagers reading that would be thinking 💭 he got up, showered twice etc so bonus - not like he’s out doing drugs/crime…and if he usually complies with the military towel arrangements you’ve imposed why not just move on?

I’m with your DH. Batshit crazy towel arguments are not worth it. I’d hate to live in a house that wasn’t allowed also to be a home.

When you come out the shower you’ll be the cleanest thing in the house. You’re actively cleaning the towel by using it.
Sharing is a bit odd, don’t think it’s a massive deal though.

You're assuming that occurred to him... he probably grabbed what was there because op didn't wash his towels and doesn't have any spare by the sounds of it. This is ops doing , she doesn't wash his towels, doesn't have spare to give him but gets angry at the boy when really she gate keeps towels.

Posting about a child's "knob and arse" is in fact disproportionately lurid when the subject matter is as unimportant as accidentally sharing a towel.

It's not really. It's the crux of the matter. If someone had used my towel to dry their arm I wouldn't mind as much as if they'd used it to dry their privates

When I was a kid we had different colour bath sheets (think dark blue, light blue, green), so we always knew.

I find it so strange that families share towels! Not necessarily for hygiene but it’s just nice to have your own towel! And for those asking where you put them, we have a heated towel rail and a hook on the door. Now I have kids, me and my DH have different colour towels, the kids have hooded bath sheets things. It’s just nice to have your own fresh towel especially if you’re getting in the shower after someone!

My DH shared with his dad AND brother and his mum had her own lovely fresh one 🤣

We were the only family in our block of flats that didn't get impetigo when it was rife in my DB's primary school though!