Anyone else feel that time is running out

[Rankandfile]

For the last 8 years or so I’ve had this feeling that time is running out, along with a load of regret that I didn’t do more / make different choices. For perspective, I’m 55 this year, have a successful career, love my job, head a department, lived abroad from 30-52 (one year travelling and the rest working) and have 2 teenage kids. I just can’t shake off this feeling that I wish I was in my 30s or 40s and that I’ll blink and be too old to do anything!! Talk me out of this ridiculousness.

Time is actually running out so you are not wrong there. What is that you wanted to do? What is stopping from you doing it now?

What do you think is the purpose of your life?

The sounds intense. Do you think this might be a low level burn out? What if you took some time away from work and do something different? Art or music or travel or whatever.

Regrets are pretty pointless because you can’t do anything to change the past, and one tiny little thing done differently could have changed the entire trajectory of your life, meaning you were stuck in a low paid job you hate, never been further than a day trip to Calais and no DC.

But you’re right, we’re all running out of time. What do you still want to do and what’s stopping you?

I feel this
And also a slightly shameful envy of my kids: who have it all ahead of them
I am not coping generally at the moment

I have been feeling the same way recently, like I have just realised the many things I still want to do and that I may not have enough time (or money!) to do them. I am going to be 50 this year and my DC although young adults are still dependent on me emotionally and I am so worried I am going to leave them as well. I think I feel it more as well as my mum died when she was 56, not from anything hereditary so I know rationally that won't happen to me but it still plays on my mind. Today my 22 year old told me her best friend from schools mum died and she is gutted for him and it made her realise I won't be here forever as well.
So I am being no help at all, sorry! I think I personally need to stop thinking about it, wasting time worrying about how fast the years go by isn't going to help, I just need to enjoy life and get on with the things I want to do and stop procrastinating!

I’m about to turn 46 and have started to have this feeling too, so maybe it’s an age thing.

Me too. I am not coping. Yours and the OP’s post really resonates. I have wasted my late thirties and early forties on a marriage that has got increasingly unhappy. I have neither done enough for a career which has been fairly mediocre compared to where I could have been and have not enjoyed my time enough with my kids and really enjoyed the time as I have been so stressed being both the main breadwinner and running the home and by the selfishness of my husband. I feel like I have wasted a huge chunk of my life and time is running out for me.

I've made a few bad decisions in my life. I often wonder if my life would have been any better if I'd taken the other road. Then again, it could be far worse. These feelings are completely normal; it's what you decide to do with them that matters.

Time is running out for everyone.

My issue really is that I want to do like long hikes and visit Scotland etc. but by the time I get time and freedom to do that, my knees will not allow it.. I should have done it when I was 20sonething.. not 50something.

Yes. It's horrible and started about 2 years ago (I'm 57).

You just enjoy things as normal then there's a reminder such as a survey and you realise your in the second to last age bracket or somebody on TV dies and you think 'that's only x amount if years away'.

Nothing we can do but make the most if enjoying things and pretend we might be the first immortal person 😂

I think this normal once you get to 50, you realise you are more than halfway through your life. I am just glad i had my children when i was young, i have had time to enjoy them well into their adulthood, in fact one of mine is 40 soon and i am so glad i didn't wait until the age she is now to have her, i would have missed so much of her life. I am glad she had her children youngish as i have had the pleasure of grandchildren.
Try not to focus on that feeling to deeply but write that bucket list and do what you want to do.

Is this what is known as a midlife crisis?

Like others have said; what do you want to achieve? A kind of bucket list before you get old? 💐

I'll be 48 soon and whilst I don't have regrets as such (I didn't make the most of myself, didn't build a career, very much lacked confidence in myself in my youth - still do in many ways however I think I've been very fortunate overall) I am VERY aware now that time is ticking on and that I may only have x or y years left depending on how lucky I am and that several people I once knew didn't even make it to 40 I should count myself lucky. I feel like the last 10 - 15 years have flashed by in particular and I know that time is only going to move faster... (I asked my Dad, who has been retired for over 10 years if time still flashed by for him now and it was very much a yes). I keep thinking about how there is now more in the rear view mirror than in front so to speak, and wonder what my childrens lives will be like and will I get to see it. You might live healthily to 95 for all you know though (me too for that matter). What do you wish that you had done differently? Can you do any of these things now?

I can relate to this. For me I think it's the realisation that I no longer have all the possibilities I had in my 20s.

It's not that I regret any of my choices - far from it- it's more that, with less time left, there are things that I'll never get to do.

Not sure you are getting the reassurance you weee hoping for on this thread @Rankandfile

But I suppose there are some good questions here such as whether there is anything you particularly feel you want to achieve?

@middlewomanager You sound so sad, sending you hugs. You're not alone, I'm not coping either

@Rankandfile Yes, time is running out, I feel I'm existing atm rather than living what I actually have left. Unmumsnetty hugs x

We are mortal creatures. In your 50s, time gets to be more important than money. What is important to you, what do you want to accomplish? And, don’t waste your precious years ruminating and regretting.

If you want to travel, do it now. If you can early retire, do it and do what you need and want to do. No guarantees. I say this as I nearing 60. After seeing several friends and relatives pass away in the past five years, I woke up.

I have these thoughts every single day, and I'm 39! I've always been the type to count down days until end of holidays etc. Almost like I know the end is inevitable, so can't fully enjoy the present. I seem to live a lot in the future, like I tell people I'm 40 by mistake, I guess because I'm imagining myself there already. I think of how fast the past 10 years have gone, and think of how many of those 10 year blocks I have left. I have such a fortunate and happy life, but the thoughts are always there. Sorry not helpful, but you are not alone.

OP, there is a really good book called Die with Zero. The title sounds a bit scary, but it is very good about thinking about priorities and what to do with the time you have left. I wish you all the best.

I've turned 60 and feel the same. I have knee problems and can't be as active and just feel like it's all downhill from here, in spite of having a job that I love and have some lovely friends and social activities

I was 54 at the beginning of Covid. I’ll be 60 this year, DH was ill so we shielded more than most, we had about a year and then he’s been poorly ever since and recently passed.

life is not a dress rehearsal- crack on OP!

Time is running out, yes. It's your choice what to do with it. You can either waste it ruminating or you can do things you want to do.

Same age as OP and I have similar feelings.

I’m sixty and yes, of course time is running out for everyone.

I have been fortunate to lead an amazing life including years working abroad and loads of travel. I have various failed relationships behind me though, as I just kept trying, not understanding that I am not happy coupled up. Single life the past 15 years has made me happy beyond belief.

I have two great young adult DC and a job I can do easily and that I enjoy. I have never had loads of money, but I have certainly lived a wonderful life.

If it all ended tomorrow I would think how much I had enjoyed it. Can you think of what you could do to ensure you make the most of what is left of your life? It’s difficult to be brutally honest with ourselves sometimes as we have to acknowledge uncomfortable truths and feelings. I wish you luck.

What is keeping you in a situation that is making you unhappy? Could you take steps to make changes?