Anyone else feel that time is running out

[Rankandfile]

For the last 8 years or so I’ve had this feeling that time is running out, along with a load of regret that I didn’t do more / make different choices. For perspective, I’m 55 this year, have a successful career, love my job, head a department, lived abroad from 30-52 (one year travelling and the rest working) and have 2 teenage kids. I just can’t shake off this feeling that I wish I was in my 30s or 40s and that I’ll blink and be too old to do anything!! Talk me out of this ridiculousness.

I have no regrets, and am very conscious of time passing by, that I have less ahead of me than behind me. But this thinking is helping me come to terms with it. I’m mourning the passing of vigor, youth, high energy, the “construction” phase of my life. But that doesn’t mean the rest has to be decline and boredom and rot. I can choose to look at the latter part of my life as one of reflection, reaping the rewards of things learned the hard way, confidence in the things I know but also knowledge that I know so little. I can focus less on myself and my family who will need me less, and more on others who might need me more.

There can be a lot to look forward to. I can accept and mourn that the past is the past, but also look forward. What’s a better solution, really?

We’re all closer to death than we’ve ever been, unfortunately!
On the bright side though, you’re as young as you’ll ever be!

55 here. Taking my pension and so is hubby. Going to do things now Incase we are not fit later.
I do thank my lucky stars that I have healthy children. I often think of my dear Friends and family that have died way too young.
Try to turn your negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Life is for living. 🤩

“For the last 8 years I’ve had this feeling that time is running out…”
Well, yep! 8 years of it so far!
Sorry that made me lol as soon as I read it.

You probably made the choices that were right at the time. If we've done all the things we wanted to do we might as well be dead already. There are always more things to do! Appreciate what you have, you seem to have had a pretty good life so far. Enjoy the present.

I hear you. 53 this year. Two kids and single. Had a very tough few years with pandemic, health issues, and major work stress.

I am doing 2 things.

1. Spending a lot less on crap.
2. Spending a lot more on holidays and travelling with my children.

I am at my best when we are away from home and life admin. We get on best when we are in the mountains and active and then near a pool or the sea. We play games and have fun and.read and laugh.

Seriously don't regret. Just do more of the things you 💕

I’ve had the same feeling for the past 46 years…

For me it is the realisation that there is nothing special about me, I am mediocre at best, but I used to be funny and reasonably attractive, always out and socialising, That changed partly due to the passage of time, the loss of friends, some really traumatic events, and then this general "what is the point of me and my life" descended. I have never earned much money, never had a career to speak of and feel that I have mainly drifted though life, waiting for it to start and then suddenly realiing it is all but over. I try to reframe my life choices, to see than as decisions I made with the best available knowledge I had at the time, but so much of my life has been about surviving rather than living. I have friends who seem to have lots of hobbies and are always busy but there is something a bit frenetic about it, as if filling the time with activities stops them thinking but maybe that is just me being envious as I don't have any talents to nurture or explore But I do feel that I have wasted my life and it makes me feel sad. I am not depressed, I have had the most horrific and paralysing depression in the past which I had to have long term treatment for and the way I feel now it nothing like the way I felt (or in fact could not feel at all) so it is not depression. I find the state of this country grim and the state of the world worse, the prospect of another term of Trump is frightening and I mostly try to block out my worries on that score. It is dark and cold too which always makes me feel isolated and reflective . Maybe when spring arrives things will feel lighter

Your time is now, embrace it.
Don't save a lovely dress for best - wear it.
Organise that trip to wherever now and enjoy it.
Put some time aside to spend with cherished friends and family while they're around.
Try to keep relatively healthy and mobile to improve longevity.
Regularly wear a fabulous pair of bright red pants (doesn't matter if it's a thong or a huge pair of belly warmers!) - it feels great!!

Absolutely

Yes I do. Largely because i’m 48, and still haven’t bought my own place. I have a deposit but decided to wait until youngest of 3 DC is 18 and goes to uni (Sep 26). I’ve been waiting over a decade really to move, but put my DC schooling first. I want to travel, I had my eldest at 16 and so never had the opportunity yet in my adult life to just book a trip without having to consider kids / etc. Even when youngest goes off to uni i’ve got a dog (that’s on lots of meds so not easy to ask others). So I feel that time is definitely running out and have been quite down about it for around a year now.

Then new years dad a very close friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Already spread to her brain. Little treatment options, bar trying to help with symptoms. I am devastated. Friend is 57, symptoms dismissed as menopause. Now I am determined to live every day for that day, and not to look too far into the future. No-one is promised tomorrow and whilst it is a scary thought that time is running out, for some it’s faster than others. So let’s enjoy the days when our health is good and we have choice over what to do, as it really can change overnight.

I read this today

Not specifically aimed at the OP but a general point within the theme of the thread:

Imagine you're my age (over 70) - what would you say to your younger self (the age you are now)?

You should have left him? You should have changed jobs? Downsized the house and had more disposable income? Planned more weekend visits/trips/activities? Stop being such a people-pleaser? Care less what other people think?

Or would you just tell your younger self to keep doing what you're doing now and hope someone waves a magic wand to make things better? Time is running out for all of us but I'm less concerned about how long I've got than the quality of my life. I might have a stroke next week or become gaga next month so I need to work at the quality of my life every single day and find joy wherever I can. I've learnt to say no to people, I turn down invitations if they don't interest me and I don't have anyone in my life who would make it miserable. I know those things are harder for people still at work or raising children but perhaps you can make a start at focusing on improving the quality of your own life while reducing the amount of time you spent facilitating everyone else's?

I feel like this is just one life and that you like me have had to struggle through it for some reason... but I have some faith that I will get a new life, and it's wonderful to imagine getting a new body and getting to experience youth again. I'm not religious or anything, it is just a hope I have. It would make things make more sense

Yes, I get that feeling sometimes. I think the trick is not to look back or forward, and genuinely try to live in the moment. If you think about the last decade, it will have flown by, but if you think of a single day, it probably doesn't go any faster than it did when you were younger.

Also, imagine if, aged 60, you were suddenly sentenced to 30 years in prison. That time ahead would feel like an eternity. Our perception of time is relative. Feeling like time is running out is the price of an enjoyable life that you want to carry on living.

I'm in my 60's now, but retired early and am fitter now that I was 10 years ago. You can turn back the clock to an extent. Then do stuff that you love, that takes you out of yourself and shifts your focus.

Thanks everyone for all the replies: I suppose being in the middle of a difficult divorce from a narcissist isn’t helping as I feel in limbo although I’ve felt like this before I decided to divorce him. I just can’t help wishing. I had 10-20 more years to do the things I want to do before I “retire” (although I don’t plan to ever stop working in some shape or form .. I love it!)

I feel this to. I’m 50. I changed career over 10 years ago but not really happy. Can’t afford to change again. Not as financially secure as I hoped I’d be at this stage in my life. Feel like I haven’t travelled enough and I can’t really afford to do so. Like another poster feeling envious that my kids have it all ahead of them. Feel regret for poor decisions I’ve made along the way. I suppose I just need to find a way of finding happiness for what I do have and have achieved rather than beating myself up for the things I haven’t achieved. You’re not alone in how you feel OP

I have to say I am 53 but don't feel like that. I almost died 18 years ago having my twins and have battled many health issues since...but I'm still here and fighting!. My 4 kids are now largely self sufficient...I had to give up my professional career 15 years ago due to health issues but am now pursuing a Masters degree in a subject that fascinates me. My dh is still working in his career and is so supportive. I live day to day enjoying my country walks with my doggies, my morning coffee looking at the trees and my get-togethers wirh my adult children. Thankfully I don't now have financial concerns due to a sizeable inheritance, which is probably helping my sense of satisfaction. But overall I still have many health issues but am so glad to be able to get up, walk my doggies, persue my area of academic interest.......but most of all I am alive! I have had many close family members dying tragically in their 30s/40s so I thank God I am able to make the most of the life I have.

I'm 40 and I feel like this!

I feel like all my best years are gone.

I know it's not true really. But we live in a society obsessed with youth. And we have always been told that our prime year's are our twenties

Yes, I have the feeling that time is running out as well, every year just seems to go by quicker and quicker, I sometimes think if I blink I will be in my late 60’s, I’m currently 49
Congrats on getting away from your awful XH though, new beginnings

I imagine this is quite a common feeling. Our life expectancy is now much higher than our ancestors but have our brains/hormones evolved adequately to process this, I highly doubt they have. My mantra is to live every day as if it were my last because in reality we have no Idea how long we really will live. I do still mourn my youth and yearn to go back and apply the wisdom and confidence I have now to it but hey ho

That’s ok, I understand🥰

I, weirdly, don't feel like this (52). I've never stretched myself financially, and never spent money on crap for the sake of it, so always had plenty of disposable income, which I've often spent on travelling, and I actually do feel like I've seen everywhere I want to see really, and finding that I'm preferring staying at home, visiting family when I take holiday from work. I just find the whole faff of travelling a hassle now, and find it much easier to sit at home and watch a good youtube video of some beautiful landscape, if I want to escape to another part of the world.

I also completely changed career aged 50, and I'm now doing a job I love, and feel like I'm living my best life. I would be devastated if the business went under and I lost this job - I feel very lucky. Another thing I love about being this age, is being respected for being good at my job, and being able to talk to blokes at work (I work in a mostly male environment), without the sexual tension that was always there in my 20s.

I do have a fear of dying though, which I didn't have in my 20s, but that is caused by having children. I really hope I stay alive until my youngest gets to at least 30, I wish I'd had my children younger because of this.

I also feel the pressure of decisions. Like we have so little time to do things.

I need to make decisions about which career, where to live, and these decisions will impact my older age, and I've barely any time left!

You're right to be feeling that way, not just on an individual level but at a global level time is almost out. We have, at most, another generation or 4 left before the planet won't sustain us any further. You're right to be having an existential crisis.