Anyone else feel that time is running out

[Rankandfile]

For the last 8 years or so I’ve had this feeling that time is running out, along with a load of regret that I didn’t do more / make different choices. For perspective, I’m 55 this year, have a successful career, love my job, head a department, lived abroad from 30-52 (one year travelling and the rest working) and have 2 teenage kids. I just can’t shake off this feeling that I wish I was in my 30s or 40s and that I’ll blink and be too old to do anything!! Talk me out of this ridiculousness.

Well, you could see about the man who is interested in you and see how it goes. If it works out...wonderful. If it doesn't, maybe you met a nice person and had some fun on some dates. If he turns out to be no good, that's one fewer you have to deal with in the search for someone.

I find that compass is my intuition, but it is challenging for sure.

I am so very sorry and I hope you get to splash that cash on things that bring you joy xx

I feel the same and I am 39. I think it is natural for humans to do this but no one has found a 'cure' for this feeling.

Everyday! 62 years old and feel total despair everyday that I am not living my life fully!
I help out with grandchildren after school & holiday time. Love them to pieces, but sometimes feel weighed down by the commitment. Mostly feel bitter & angry that I have to provide so much support & social stimulation for my 82 yr old Mum, not in good health Mum.
I’m very lucky to be retired, but feel I would feel less pressure if I still worked. I want to travel, spontaneously. I want get up in the morning & just go wherever the mood takes me.
Live in london & hate it, would like to live elsewhere.
life is just passing me by. 😕

This is what I feel in terms of paralysed with fear. I haven't been able to explain it before but when I read your comment I thought that is what I feel. Because I look back and think I did everything wrong, I am scared to decide what I want because scared I will get it all wrong again but with less time 'on the clock' in 20 years time. Its a horrible feeling.

I'm in my sixties and my best friend is seventy. We have made a list of things we'd like to do now we are both single and the kids are grown up (she's widowed, I'm divorced.) Some of the things are very small - a long walk on a local beach, eating chips. Some are medium... a weekend away in Scotland to look at the museums, others, like visiting Iceland, are a bit more of an investment. But we try to chip away at the list, whenever one of us sees a trip to one of our places we try to join it, we plan visits. We may not make everything on our list, but we will continue to try until we both can't any more. Doing small things makes doing the bigger things feel more possible, so never neglect to do the little things that you want to - you can build up to the big ones.

Try to focus instead on ‘This is the youngest you will ever be, so seize life and enjoy it’. When the troubling thoughts come to your mind, remind yourself of this. I’m 65 and would love to have the extra 15 years that you have on me. My plan is to live well into my 90s. If you do the same, you can have more than 40s years. Enjoy them 💐

Really interesting to read all these responses. I suppose if I examine the feeling (and it’s not a “logical” feeling) it’s less about what I’ve achieved and more about wanting more time to do more! At the same time, I know of people who’ve not made it to this age … in fact a very close friend died at 34 (I was 40 then) from ovarian cancer. So rationally I know I’ve had a great life, career, married a narcissist but hey getting out of that finally after 15+ years … just want more time!!! Maybe it is about finding a purpose, finding my freedom from this wretched man, and doing all the travelling I plan to do.

I'm glad you posted this because I feel the same. I'm 50 this year and it's as though I've realised I won't be here forever. When you're younger life stretches ahead of you but reaching this age made me realise I don't know how long I've got left and I want to make the most of every moment. Nobody talks about this and it's not something I can talk to parents about because they're in a worse position than me.

I’m afraid I feel it too. 64, semi retired but could completely retire tomorrow if I wanted, but have 95 year old father to parent. When he was my age he was retired and travelling the world, which was my plan. I wanted to buy a house and live in Greece but the longer this goes on for the less likely my chance of doing it. I’m trying not to be bitter. Appreciate this sounds heartless but whatever I do - and I live 100 miles away - is never enough.

@JustMeAndTheFish if whatever you do is never enough then you just need to do what suits you. Carve more time out for yourself. Reduce or stop work.

I'm 60, and yes, conscious that time is running out. Basically I just ignore it and carry on. I started doing weights to maximise the healthy/strong years I have left, but that's it.

I often feel like that, because it is, from the moment we’re born!

These lyrics by Bonnie Rait from her song "the nick of time" express some of the thoughts that have been shared on here:

A friend of mine, she cries at night
And she calls me on the phone
Sees babies everywhere she goes
And she wants one of her own
… She's waited long enough, she says
And still he can't decide
Pretty soon she'll have to choose
And it tears her up inside
… She is scared
Scared to run out of time
… I see my folks are getting on
And I watch their bodies change
I know they see the same in me
And it makes us both feel strange
… No matter how you tell yourself
It's what we all go through
Those lines are pretty hard to take
When they're staring back at you (oh, oh, oh)
… Scared you'll run out of time
… When did the choices get so hard

I like to think that it means to think about all the lovely positive things you have in your life, like your DD and how much you love her, and a lovely dog, and a car and a roof over your head. You’re so lucky to have those things. Tell your DD you love her, or that you’re proud of her for a, b or c. Make a fuss of the dog. If the bills are paid and you’ve got food in the cupboard then treat yourself to that thing that would make your heart happy. Use your fancy bubble bath. Wear your best clothes. Use your best china. Tell your friends you love them and make the effort to se them more, even when you can’t be arsed. Take up that hobby you’ve been telling yourself for years that you’ll do one day. Jump on a train and take yourself off for an adventure. Eat the bloody cake.

And, conversely, clear out the crap in your life. If it’s an unhappy marriage or relationship, end it. Life might be harder for a while but you’ll always be happier without it dragging you down. Friends are selfish piss takers? Get rid. Boss is an arse? Fill in that application form. What have you got to lose?

Another thing that's weird is this. I had a particularly bad life. Im 40. No one loved me . I had severe abuse from every single adult in my life when I was a child.

I often wish that life was all over. My brother is the same. He had the same terrible unloved childhood, that I had. He has told me that he often wishes that life was over. He often says "whats the point". We are both in huge emotional pain every single day. I don't have children.

A woman in our local community has just died aged 35. She had a really good life. She was a mum, she had two small children that needed her.

Why did she die. When she wanted to live for her children?

Why are me and my brother alive, when we both want life to be over.

It makes no sense. There's no fairness for anyone

I know what you mean and between me and husband have lost all our parents over the last three years apart from my dad who left when I was five (I’m now 60) so was never close, so really have those intimations of mortality but life can be short or long and we have little control. I’m trying to just enjoy what have. I could be on my own like my mum very shortly or could have a great life ahead. X

You are very articulate and eloquent. That is something special.

I love this, thank you! Perfectly explained! I don’t stay in relationships or jobs that don’t work for me. I enjoy my life & we go places, I love my DD& dog & my friends, I treat myself, I’m grateful & I guess i’m just happily plodding along then living like it’s my last day! I was thinking maybe I should be doing something more exciting, I’ve never got this phrase!

I think once you hit a particular age, whatever milestone that may be for you, it’s natural to start reflecting and wondering how it all went by in such a rush.
Some of us wake up in hospital after a close shave and a bit of an epiphany. Some of us,sadly, start to lose folks we love/ worked closely with and so on.
I think what it really emphasises is to live each day and find enjoyment where you can, and not to put stuff you want to do off for another time. Seize the day now.

I also feel that euthanasia should be available for people who've suffered from child abuse.

I see my brother cry terribly every week. Because he had such a terrible abusive childhood. He doesn't want to live.

When I look at him I think- it's not fair to make him live.

I do get what you mean OP. I often think oh I'll do xyz and then think what's the point I'm too old and time is running out . I'm 59 btw.
Then I look at people in their 70's / 80's still totally engaged in life . I mean today we have a new 78yrs American president , we have pensioner actors still at the top of their game ,

I think it's totally a mindset . As society values older people less then I think we can fall into that eg I won't get a new job because I'm 63 or whatever and actually your chances can be less than a 33 rocking up to interview .

I'm currently spending 3 months in Goa. I'm not a beach person, but I love the culture, food and people. Spending time here and making new friends makes me feel like the best version of myself. I'm 65. I do yoga and fitness stuff. I live a single life by choice, and have two boys who came into my life through fostering in my 50s, and they are now in their 20s and an amazing support for me. I also have rescue dogs and volunteer in animal welfare here in India. There are women and men, both older and much younger than me. We are experimenting with a different kind of life. I'm so grateful to be here and to be able to do this (on a very tight budget)!
We suffer a lot from stress in Western culture and finding ways to have a break from that, for our physical and mental health, is essential.
Find things that work for you: join the walking group in Scotland, insist on a 4 day week, stop bending over backwards to please people who are impossible to please.
It's fine if your friends and family don't support you in this. It's your life. Live it your way. You Will find your people. And you Will find yourself

My time truly is running out!

I choose not to have regrets - it is a waste of the time left.

A decade ago i had an appointment with a Pension advisor. He asked how i saw my retirement. I told him what i wanted and he pointed out that most people are really socially active for the first 5 years, meals and outings every week, couple of big holidays a year and a weekend away every couple of months. Then for the next 5 years all of that is cut by half as they tire or just get fed up travelling. Then they are too ill or tired to do much. What i am getting at is we don't need as much as we think we do when we retire, so if you can just do what it is you want to do now. It really doesn't matter if you are living in a one bed flat when you are 70 or Eastbourne on a coach tour is your idea of travel. Go and do what you want whilst you still have your health.