Anyone else feel that time is running out

[Rankandfile]

For the last 8 years or so I’ve had this feeling that time is running out, along with a load of regret that I didn’t do more / make different choices. For perspective, I’m 55 this year, have a successful career, love my job, head a department, lived abroad from 30-52 (one year travelling and the rest working) and have 2 teenage kids. I just can’t shake off this feeling that I wish I was in my 30s or 40s and that I’ll blink and be too old to do anything!! Talk me out of this ridiculousness.

I feel the same, have felt like it for some time. But also, I know lots of people living near me in their 60s and 70s and several in the past year have lost their DPs, or they themselves have become ill. My DH isn't well and it's affected our travel - haven't had a holiday for years and I feel like I'm treading water. It's just dawned on me that I might have to look after him at some point. I also want to visit Scotland/Peru/Japan, do the Santiago trail, etc etc but time is running out. Pray for good health in your retirement so you can do stuff! But also, start now - bell ringing or belly dancing or whatever you've always fancied. But I think the most important thing is to keep up social relationships with friends and family.

I'm 45 in four days and have been feeling this since about 42.
Namely, fear that my 82 yo abusive parent won't die quickly enough, so I can take my inheritance, move back to my country of origin (without husband) and finally start living the way I want.
Without other people's faces in my home.
No children.
Dire, I know.

Yes I feel like this too but completely stuck to do anything about it. I'm 42 and completely lost in life. I love my DC and provide a comfortable lifestyle but I am lost and empty and scared of the time ticking so quickly. I am separated and feel I am failing in every way. I can't go forward or backward but the time just keeps on flying by.

Sympathise with everyone feeling like this.

Thank you for replying. The utter exhaustion which is stopping me from adding “sort divorce” to my task list. The fear. The fact I will lose out financially and break my kids’ hearts. The first thing I need to do is sort myself out- I think I need HRT for perimenopause. I need to keep
working with my weight loss mentor to get healthier and I am hoping I am about to get a new job. Once I have worked on me, let’s see how I feel about the rest.

I get like this. It scares me because I feel I'm living the best days of my life with my close family and friends all well and happy.
I know it won't stay like this. I hope it's a long, long while before things change but it scares me anyway.

Sympathies to everyone on this thread who feels like this. It is frightening and I wish I had more constructive things to say. Least we know we are not the only ones.

But I think the most important thing is to keep up social relationships with friends and family.
Yes I agree with this but for me I'm starting again from scratch. Realised my marriage was very bad and my family of origin extremely toxic. So I'm without DH, without a supportive family and never had many friends ever. I'm slowly building up some friendships. Definitely at Christmas time it all hit home how lonely I am and I wonder how the rest of my life will be now. Failing DC massively as I can't even give them a good social life and support network.

53, 54 next birthday.
Just been diagnosed with cancer number 4. I will be lucky to see 55 at this rate!

Do what you want to do, don't hold back, life is short. Life each day as if it is your last! 😊

Oh God, I feel exactly the same. I'm 51, backed the wrong horse 30 years ago which (although now divorced and remarried) absolutely trashed my career/financial prospects. Lost 3 friends to cancer in the past 2 years, another is terminally ill. People keep dying, my parents are getting old and frail, I can't do enough for them as I can't not work (self employed, can't possibly afford to retrain, can't even afford to take any time off.)

I too envy my lovely dds in one sense for having it all ahead of them, though they don't know that obviously.

I'm basically worn out from 30 years of chronic health problems and an abusive marriage on top of financial worries and general parenting. Menopause is biting, and I can't shake the feeling that I made all the wrong decisions and wrecked all the potential I had. I married then stayed with the wrong guy who absolutely drained me in every possible sense. Yes, I'm still here but I'm on such a treadmill and there's no time, money or headspace to get enough of an overview to make changes.

Yeah, you're far from alone, OP!

I’m 37 but feel the same. Genuinely feel like I wasted a decade from 22-32 and now feel paralysed with fear over enjoying the rest. Basically constantly in an existential crisis.

exactly the same. I wasted years 20-34. Got to be the best version of myself from now on 💪 it’s scary!

I had a cancer scare last week. A lump in my breast has appeared and I’ve been in shock. It really gives you tunnel vision, makes you realise what matters (and who!) and shocks you into action.

Haven’t been given the all clear yet as waiting to be seen but oh my god, it is terrifying!

I think it is normal. When we are young we "know" cognitively that if we are lucky we get 80 years, with poor health and old age at the end. But emotionally the full understanding of that doesn't hit until we get into our fifties and understand that we have used up two thirds of our healthy years, and probably the healthiest ones, and we still have a lot of work to do with our dwindling resources.

Time is running out but regret about the past is pointless, concentrate on the decisions you make now.
Personally I have started taking my health seriously to give me the best chance of good health in old age, I nurture my relationships, take as many holidays/see new places/try new things as I can.
I say no to things I just don’t want to do, take pleasure in all the little things, accept I can’t fix everything and I certainly can’t fix anyone. I’ve just stopped sweating the small stuff and try to see the good in every day.

I have a coworker who is in her sixties. she goes on hiking trips and does long distance swimming in open water. She is not young, but definitely not too old to be doing things. I think her age makes it even easier, because she hardly has any obligations beyond her work.

Yes. But also I think that time is running out on the human race because we have totally fucked over the earth. It's scary.

I’m 50 and haven’t experienced that yet, hope I don’t!

If there are things you want to do, is there a way you can work toward them?

Generally I like being older and feel more contented and self assured as I get older. I lost my dbro in a really tragic accident which made me re evaluate what is important to me, I’ve made some changes and I am fortunate to be at the stage financially that I can get on with doing the things I really want to do; mostly traveling and lots of meals out with friends.

I think things generally get easier when dc become more independent and you can focus more on yourself. That’s been my experience anyway.

I thought it was an age thing (56) but I'm sad reading the posts from those in late 30s/early 40s. I do think the world has changed a lot (not for the better) though, since I was late 30s/early 40s.

That sounds like a sensible plan to take things one step at a time.

I really hope things work out well for you and that you find yourself in a much happier place in the years ahead.

I am also about to turn 46 but I have had this feeling for about five years. I have primary age kids and the way they soak up all my time makes me absolutely despair. I think of the time I wasted before I had them and panic. It's a terrible, paralysing feeling.

Yes it's definitely a 'thing' amongst my friends - we are all on the wrong side of 55 😜

I'm Feeling really aware of time that's gone and what's ahead.
Knowing time is running out as our parents age. That's really hard to shake out of my head. That feeling that something bad is coming in the next few years.

Yeah. I only recently realised what I wanted to do when I grew up (I’m 46) and spent the first half of my life drifting and essentially living for other people, or at least making decisions about my life that were based on choices other people were making. I really feel that time is speeding up, I feel like an old person when I say “gosh, it’s 2025 already, it seems like only yesterday we were celebrating the millennium” but it’s TRUE 🤣

All that said, I’m now trying to live my best life every day. Sometimes that means letting go and being reckless or throwing caution to the wind, sometimes it means planning for retirement, which still feels like denying myself the money that I could use now, but I don’t want to be too poor if I get a retirement to actually enjoy it.

I don’t know if that helps you, @Rankandfile , but I certainly don’t think you’re unreasonable to feel that way.

I never get this phrase of ‘live each day as if it’s your last’. What does it even mean? I mean, who can actually do this, if it was my last day, I’d spend it hugging my DD, crying & drinking Prosecco. But it’s just not practical to do this due to work, walking the dog, putting fuel in the car, sorting DD’a life admin out & various other daily jobs that need doing!🤔

Wishing you the best with your cancer diagnosis💐

I feel the same and I’m in my 40s. I struggle with the idea of getting old and think that when my elderly parents die I will be the next in line. Christmas/new year always makes me question my past life choices and whether I’m on the right path/making the most of it. I’m not paralysed by these thoughts but they’re definitely there…

I've felt like this since my teens and I'm mid 30s now. It's the realisation for me that there is so much of life to see, touch, experience and none of us can do it all in one lifetime.