How much input do you have in your partners wardrobe/appearance

[User09678]

AIBU to wonder how much input you have in how your partner dresses and presents themselves?

Do you have none at all? Down to not even expressing preferences (yes/no stubble, nice shirt, where are those shoes?) do you compliment what you like, ignore what you don't. Do you even notice? Like if they totally let themselves go at what point would you say something or they maybe went in some weird direction...

Or are you quite active in encouraging them to wear what they like, assuming they do too. Are they quite happy to accept suggestions, do you buy them clothes, do you buy ALL their clothes?!

And vice versa I suppose!

My husband has good taste but somehow over the years, clothes shopping has become one of my household tasks. I’ll usually browse online, show him and he’ll yes or no the items. He wears whatever is comfortable and available. He couldn’t care less what I wear, though he will compliment me when I get dressed up. I don’t control him FFS but he hates shopping and I don’t. I also know what suits him after 20 odd years.

None, other than a fresh supply of boxers and socks at Christmas (he has a preferred boxers brand).

i might spot the occasional shirt for him, but always send a photo and ask first.

He has two looks though, scruffy metalhead and exceedingly smart suited and booted, which he does very well. Can’t do ‘smart casual’ to save his life. Refreshes his supply of band shirts/hoodies at an annual event we go to.

We both hate shopping and go only if after something specific (and takes me if I can use my discount for him). Is very particular.

I buy my DH shirts as presents but other than that I am not getting involved.

DH doesn’t tend to buy new clothes unless the existing ones are falling apart.

I tend to be the one who goes “to the shops”, so I’ll ask him if he needs anything. And very occasionally socks or underwear or T shirts will be added to the list. He does have some favourite shops and brands, so I stick to those if I can.
I used to let the dc choose the colour, they had a preference when little for bright colours, which DH embraced enthusiastically. So now if I’m unsure I just choose the cheeriest colour available.

He buys things that need trying on like trousers or shoes, but tbh I am usually there too because he will have joined me on a shopping trip rather than going shopping alone.

I don’t have any input over when/where/in what combination he wears his existing clothes.

Not much, but he will drag me round shopping (I never do that to him) he's generally much better turned out than me and is much more vain too

I did briefly date a guy once who was in his 40's. Been single his whole life (constant short flings, but never lived with a woman).
His dress sense was so bad, he had a good career but was so cheap about what he wore (& cheap in generally to be honest). Not quite in football shirts territory lucky (probably was too tight!)
He could have looked amazing if he had a glow up via a boyfriend/girlfriend.
But he was tall and great in the sack so I guess he didn't feel the need, always could pull and wasn't interested in nice restaurants etc so quite happy and I think unaware that his clothes were so horrid, might have been part of his strategy to get women to undress him as quickly as possible

He is a Professor of science and is the living embodiment of a stereotypical academic. As long as clothing is warm or cool when needed and suits the job he gives zero shits.

The man has an amazing body, he is older now, still running and rowing on his rowing machine and as slim as when he was 27. He had an actual six pack, it’s softened now. He is tall and has an athletic body type. I thought well he looks dreadful wrapped up, yes it’s that bad but I just let him get on with it. He was dressing like a 60 year old man when I first met him. I have bought him some decent clothes for when we go out, it’s a bit like dressing a toddler.

He had many matching jumpers and trousers, and has worn them to work over the last 30 years, replacing when very worn out. Good old M&S so eternally dull and uninspiring they have sold the same stuff for that long. Einstein apparently had all matching suits and shirts all hung up in unison, it’s in a similar vein I suppose.

@ViciousCurrentBun I think we're married to the same man.

None. We both have very casual styles and hate clothes shopping - I pretty much live in athleisure - so we're on the same page really. I think he looks as attractive in a T-shirt and tracksuit bottoms around the house as when he's scrubbed up in a suit once in a blue moon.

He had long hair before he met me and I have made it clear that if he'd had it when we met, we wouldn't have got together. That's about it. He hasn't let his hair grow out since.

There's a vague unspoken agreement that both of us are more attracted to fit, athletic bodies, but we both keep ourselves in shape for ourselves rather than because the other one demands it.

Oh god so often I catch a glimpse of us in a window and realise we're accidentally matchy-matchy from head to toe. Mortifying. No one warned me about that aspect of long-term relationships.

Some input because DH would go out for a meal in his painting clothes if he could.

Dh hardly ever buys clothes now, unless it’s a bog standard replacement of e.g. M&S trousers. If he needs anything, I’ll usually buy it. He’s red/green colour blind, which doesn’t help.

He made some disastrous buys in the past - the sort of thing that made me say I absolutely wasn’t going to be seen dead with him in that. A number of things were eventually given away, unworn.

My husband is a grown man who can dress himself and I liked what he wore the night we met. He doesn’t tell me what to wear and often says I look good so I dont think he minds. If I see the socks or underwear he likes on offer I pick them up but I won’t choose his clothes anymore than he would choose mine. Though he has bought me jewellery before and he always gets me things I like.

None really. He can wear what he likes . We’ve been married 30 years and I honestly can’t say I’ve ever seen him wear anything I don’t like. He doesn’t buy lots of clothes but does spend a lot when he does and some of his stuff he’s had for years. My husband is a workaholic though so I rarely see him out if his work clothes (he’s a builder) .

None to his anc he has none to mine.

it wouldn’t even occur to me.

Only in as much as I might buy him a new shirt or jumper as a gift. And vice versa. We know each other's style and taste though, so buy each other things we know they would like. And have no hesitation letting the other know if they have picked something disastrous

The only time we might consult each other is if we are going to a formal event like a wedding. DH will wait to see what I'm wearing and then might pick a tie or shirt to coordinate with me or at least aim not to clash with me!

I always thought it was cute that older couples twinned 😂

Now I know they’re probably walking along gently arguing about who put on their green jumper first and feeling a bit silly 😂

I buy and tell him everything to wear. Not on a daily basis but his wardrobe is organised into:

"Stuff I can wear to go out with wife during day (and a separate evening section"

And

"Shit I can wear anytime but I know she won't acknowledge me in the street"

He has no interest in looking anything other than a hobo and I have no interest in going out the house with someone in badly fitting, ball sack on display sports wear.

So that's the compromise. One side of the wardrobe normal human. The other half, WOULDNT GET ACCEPTED BY THE CHAZZER (and we know this because when he finally retired his check shirts from the 80's and he took them to the chazzer they said 'oh the rag bin is full' and he was most put out)