To feel justified getting a taxi back from the shops sometimes -DH seems IABU

[ladyattheback]

How many of you do this - especially if you have pain issues and don't run a car?

I've been happily married to DH for 28 yrs. Neither of us either run a car nor have a driving licence, neither of us ever got a driving licence, so not had anything confiscated (could be part of his concern but he won't say).

We live in Greater Manchester, with really great bus connections (probably because of that and budget plus we never learned), so never been a worry getting the children about (no Mum and Dad taxi service with our DC). Supermarket groceries are no issue - we largely have those delivered.

During the last few years, I'm finding it harder physically to get about as soon as I have a few bags of shopping I would usually manage on the bus. I'm not especially large - a size 14 though approaching 50 it would be nice to lose a bit of weight.

I've chronic pain issues - spine, hips, shoulders etc. Once or twice I've felt like giving up and getting a taxi back part way. I'm then wasted for the next couple of hours after getting back. It's not the walking that bothers me so much, it's as soon as I'm bearing weight. So far - no cab until last weekend, and I never heard the last of it from DH - what a waste of money etc.

I've been thinking about getting the bus out lately, doing the 20 min walk out, then about in the stores and coming back in a cab. For example, tins of paint and bulky items can be on the heavy side. The retail park that has all I need in one fell-swoop has many of the places I would visit in one place, but it's a 6 mile trip home in a cab.

AIBU to 'treat' myself on occasion to this, or is DH right it's too much? Is he afraid I will be judged getting into a cab and people will suspect I must be getting into a cab because I've had a licence taken away? I've never been able to drive due to a sight restriction, but DH has never been inspired to learn. We are entering our 50's now so that is unlikely to change.

I'm sick of ordering online and getting 'unpredictable' quality delivered by Amazon - I'd like to be able to bring some purchases home from in-store.

DH will rarely be seen out shopping - can't stand it. I'm not the biggest shopper, but sometimes we need to get it in?

I do have friends that drive, though don't want to ask - they don't go in for the same items as me - I also prefer not to spend all Saturday shopping - if I can get out on a weeknight and do click/collect I'd rather do that.

YANBU

Occasional taxi is cheaper than running a car

And if he isn't the one carrying everything home, he doesn't get a say

I fail to see why it's any of his business.

My friends who don't drive use taxis all the time - no-one ever would think it's because they've had their licence taken away, lots of people don't drive! Your plan sounds perfectly sensible, just do it and ignore him, especially if he won't get off his backside to help you.

YANBU, and if your OH thinks you are, let him get the fucking shopping and lug it all back.

If he doesn't like you getting a cab, he can go and get the shopping, or STFU.

He is utterly ridiculous.

You’re getting a cab, not a private jet.

Its never crossed my mind to assume someone using a taxi must have had their license taken off them. Just… a million other reasons to use a taxi aren’t there.

Thank you, the DIY is largely left up to me when I get home with said items, since he claims I am better at it than him - sometimes he holds up the other end of an item I'm putting up, changes a lightbulb, but it's all he's done. He's good at washing up though...😂

Of course. Get on uber and bolt apos.
Use a taxi when it suits you.
Your dh is not the boss of you.
Running a car would cost 1 to 2k a year so put that amount to taxis.

That's what taxis are for.
Loads of older people bus in and taxi home with shopping.
If I couldn't drive I would definitely do it.

Send your dh into town to get tins of paint, see how he manages home on a bus.

This.
With knobs on that you can bring home in the taxi.

as a similar aged person who has permanently wrecked their spine from lifting stuff and would pay all the money in the world not to suffer with it now, I 100% say you carry on with using taxis, your older age and spine will thank you so much for it.

YANBU
I don't give a thought to why people get taxis.i am London based and it's expensive to own a car, a taxi when needed is much more convenient
As pp said, if he doesn't like it he can carry stuff himself.

Doesn't stop him helping to carry it though.

And saying you're better is a ploy to get you to do it.

It's not your DH's place to dictate what mode of transport you choose.

And to echo all the other PPs- if he's got a problem with it, he can do the necessary shopping instead.

I cannot comprehend the level of twattery that some men sink to.

I get to pick the wallpaper and he has to live with it if he does not come out with me.
Thank you so much everyone, I think I have my answer right there. One of the reasons I posted is that my parents didn't drive or ever use cabs either for shopping. They killed themselves using bike panniers, and thought it kept them fit. I've been taken off my bike too many times living in GM, and the potholes are a nightmare on the spine.

Well why doesn't he come with you and carry all the heavy items?

I can't think of anyone who would think that you had lost your license and that's why you've got a taxi! That is just crazy thinking.

You can get DIY stuff delivered too. I'm redecorating my house and don't drive, I just buy stuff off Amazon and B&Q. I personally hate being in taxis so I would never choose to get one unless desperate. But in your situation especially with chronic pain, get a taxi if you want to and it makes things easier.

When our youngest went up to high school and I no longer had a school run, I decided to give up my car and walk everywhere. It did me a world of good, lost loads of weight etc but it did occur to me about six months in, that the neighbours might think I had a ban! 😂

Get a taxi. If your OH is bothered so much, tell him to do the bloody shopping!!

HIBVVVU! Get your taxi and don't worry about it! He'll be thankful when your back still works in 10 years' time!

Brilliant comment @Feelinadequate23 , I will tell him exactly that next time I step out of one!
I love him so much (after 28 years, that's hopefully proven) though he really has always been funny about spending money - that will put it into context for him and put him in his place - thank you 😀

Did it actually do them any harm though, or did it in fact keep them fit? I'm not saying you're wrong to get a cab, but I don't think there's anything wrong with using bike panniers either and it seems unlikely to have been making them less fit!

If money is his worry, you should do a quick calculation of how much you've saved by not having a car over the last 28 years - you will find you have a very very large budget for taxis! Don't forget paying for the car, petrol, MOTs, services, repairs, insurance. I reckon c.£4k per year!

It was making them ill in fact (certainly not initially, but once they were older (cardiac/spine issues etc).

YANBU - no way would I be hauling tins of paint or a full week of shopping on the bus. Why doesn't your husband come with you to help you carry things?