To feel justified getting a taxi back from the shops sometimes -DH seems IABU

[ladyattheback]

How many of you do this - especially if you have pain issues and don't run a car?

I've been happily married to DH for 28 yrs. Neither of us either run a car nor have a driving licence, neither of us ever got a driving licence, so not had anything confiscated (could be part of his concern but he won't say).

We live in Greater Manchester, with really great bus connections (probably because of that and budget plus we never learned), so never been a worry getting the children about (no Mum and Dad taxi service with our DC). Supermarket groceries are no issue - we largely have those delivered.

During the last few years, I'm finding it harder physically to get about as soon as I have a few bags of shopping I would usually manage on the bus. I'm not especially large - a size 14 though approaching 50 it would be nice to lose a bit of weight.

I've chronic pain issues - spine, hips, shoulders etc. Once or twice I've felt like giving up and getting a taxi back part way. I'm then wasted for the next couple of hours after getting back. It's not the walking that bothers me so much, it's as soon as I'm bearing weight. So far - no cab until last weekend, and I never heard the last of it from DH - what a waste of money etc.

I've been thinking about getting the bus out lately, doing the 20 min walk out, then about in the stores and coming back in a cab. For example, tins of paint and bulky items can be on the heavy side. The retail park that has all I need in one fell-swoop has many of the places I would visit in one place, but it's a 6 mile trip home in a cab.

AIBU to 'treat' myself on occasion to this, or is DH right it's too much? Is he afraid I will be judged getting into a cab and people will suspect I must be getting into a cab because I've had a licence taken away? I've never been able to drive due to a sight restriction, but DH has never been inspired to learn. We are entering our 50's now so that is unlikely to change.

I'm sick of ordering online and getting 'unpredictable' quality delivered by Amazon - I'd like to be able to bring some purchases home from in-store.

DH will rarely be seen out shopping - can't stand it. I'm not the biggest shopper, but sometimes we need to get it in?

I do have friends that drive, though don't want to ask - they don't go in for the same items as me - I also prefer not to spend all Saturday shopping - if I can get out on a weeknight and do click/collect I'd rather do that.

Why wouldn't you get a taxi if you had a lot of shopping?
Seems perfectly normal to me.

I don't do taxis myself. I have a shopping trolley I wheel out for the weekly shop and I've used my doggy stroller before for allsorts of things (taking big bags to the charity shop, picking up DIY supplies and giant bags of compost.....rarely used it for the dogs though!LOL).

Of course use a taxi but if you order from better sites than amazon, you can get exactly the quality you desire

I think I know what you mean OP about lugging shopping home. I think it's going out for one or two manageable items and ending up with the whole shop in your bags! Therefore you didn't order the two items online but still have a ton of stuff to get to your house.

Of course you get a cab Uber or whatever works for you. Why the heck not? Pay no heed to your DH just do your own thing.

I am a similar shopper. Go out for one thing and end up with the shop. My intention is not to take the car to get some exercise by walking into town or the local retail park for little bits and pieces, but now and then can't manage the heft of my unintended purchases and hop in a cab.

I've taken to bringing a fold up backpack with me now. As pp said, for heavy but not too bulky items they are brilliant if the straps are comfortable on your shoulders. I regularly carry about 10kilos back (walking) and hardly notice it on my back, but if I were to carry it in a shopping bag I'd be half dead. I also have a backpack with wheels which is a terrific piece of kit also. Not remotely resembling those tartan shopping carts that women of a certain age use, oh no I couldn't possibly! I'm 67 going on 68 BTW 😊

How I understood it, this isn't about regular grocery shopping, they have it delivered, this is about bigger items for the house which the OP wants to choose at a shopping center, because the items delivered from Amazon have inconsistent quality

Get yourself a funky shopping trolley

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hoppa-Lightweight-Shopping-Foldaway-Guarantee/dp/B0CZF3XHH6/ref=mpssa111?crid=33RL6HLEICV4G&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FrTKJY0olfXnxScnXkleZpqmicPoxODN0Kh9GYok7rRZeYAPRDM2lSO22xV2pxK-5vpttNgxlJTELQCQflJbMZKL9BYZyBwWdpJeTfmyepYEQR6pnwosmDsH7kn7LjYt9Fx9XrDPNfEvRP8h0p87NpFCqTkxkSg67f39iecPr24fOHRW7kK5cfICni8M8HoXmt9eJBZC6em-ZvQAqSjyEQ.64vNZnZ-aTMIOccC59kaLW3qIoRrKlmbBikwHFC4yc4&dibtag=se&keywords=shopping+trolley+funky&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1737148622&refinements=pp_85%3A20930949031&sprefix=shopping+teilley+fu%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-1

When my kids were young (about 45 years ago) I used to get the bus into town weekly with my two, wheeled shopping trolleys, load them up and do the journey in reverse. Lifting them on and off the bus and hauling them up the steep hill to the house ruined my shoulders! When it got too much I used to get a taxi back once a fortnight, to my door, which made a huge difference, but my shoulders were never the same again!

Definitejy get a cab, but i would also see a private physio about your back pain. Not so that you can carry bags, just for quality of life.

@VonHally I bought my dm one, plain black, very modern and she's never used it. She asked me if I thought she was old! She's 82.

I don’t drive I get ubers practically every day - probably will use them less when the weather is better!

He has a choice

1. He can go and get what's needed
2. He can come with you to do the carrying
3. He can let you go and gets what's needed and not concern himself with how you are getting to/from tge shops unless he opts for 1 or 2 above

He can carry the shopping back to your house if he’s that bothered about you getting taxis
does he not care about you at all

What is he expecting you to do? Carry on with the shopping and be in pain because he has silly ideas? He can either help you or let you get a cab when you need it. He doesn't get to stay at home while you shop for necessary and heavy house hold items and then complain about the cab you got because you didn't want to come home exhausted and in pain.

Literally no one notices or thinks of reasons why people get taxis!
I own a car but I use Uber a lot as I like a glass of wine, never even thought to think any of what you have.

Im 64 and use a pushchair, much better than pulling a trolley behind and much easier to get on the bus. I take my pushchair everywhere with me just so that I know I can shop to my hearts content and not have to worry about the weight. Having said this if you want to get a cab home then absolutely do so. When I had children at home and done the big shop I always used a cab home. Look after your joints!!

YANBU, and if he wants you to carry on doing all the shopping he should accept that you're going to get taxis sometimes.

I have never once loked at someone getting in a cab at the shops and thought bet they have been disqualified from driving. Wouldn't judge anyone for getting a cab that needs one , look after yourself and get the cab

I get taxi's all the time, especially from shops like Aldi. I don't think any one will judge you

I'm.of the generation where a racist seems a luxury, however in these circumstances it's a necessity. I would not struggle.

He should be so grateful you are doing the shopping and DIY that he pays for the taxis.

I'd be inclined to get heavy items delivered, as you do for grocery shopping. Before I could drive I used public transport a lot, taxis were really only for times/places not served by taxis or other random odd occasions, certainly not routinely. It's up to you what you spend your money on, but once you start getting taxis more and more they start to become more appealing than waiting at a bus stop.

Typo? 'Racist'?

She's already said they get groceries online mostly.

I had to quote this in case you edited.😂Assume racist should be taxi, but it did make me laugh.

OP, you have a disability, your chronic pain/ spine issues impact you being able to go out shopping and bring back heavy things. And that's OK.

Your DH needs to accept this. Sometimes there are costs to being less able. Either he should come out and help you carry the bags, or you get a taxi.

Don't accept his nonsense about this, it's your body, you only get one and you need to look after it.

Also this!

That's a very strange thing to think that you would be judged for getting a taxi.

I'm in my 30's and get taxis when I need/ want to.