To feel justified getting a taxi back from the shops sometimes -DH seems IABU

[ladyattheback]

How many of you do this - especially if you have pain issues and don't run a car?

I've been happily married to DH for 28 yrs. Neither of us either run a car nor have a driving licence, neither of us ever got a driving licence, so not had anything confiscated (could be part of his concern but he won't say).

We live in Greater Manchester, with really great bus connections (probably because of that and budget plus we never learned), so never been a worry getting the children about (no Mum and Dad taxi service with our DC). Supermarket groceries are no issue - we largely have those delivered.

During the last few years, I'm finding it harder physically to get about as soon as I have a few bags of shopping I would usually manage on the bus. I'm not especially large - a size 14 though approaching 50 it would be nice to lose a bit of weight.

I've chronic pain issues - spine, hips, shoulders etc. Once or twice I've felt like giving up and getting a taxi back part way. I'm then wasted for the next couple of hours after getting back. It's not the walking that bothers me so much, it's as soon as I'm bearing weight. So far - no cab until last weekend, and I never heard the last of it from DH - what a waste of money etc.

I've been thinking about getting the bus out lately, doing the 20 min walk out, then about in the stores and coming back in a cab. For example, tins of paint and bulky items can be on the heavy side. The retail park that has all I need in one fell-swoop has many of the places I would visit in one place, but it's a 6 mile trip home in a cab.

AIBU to 'treat' myself on occasion to this, or is DH right it's too much? Is he afraid I will be judged getting into a cab and people will suspect I must be getting into a cab because I've had a licence taken away? I've never been able to drive due to a sight restriction, but DH has never been inspired to learn. We are entering our 50's now so that is unlikely to change.

I'm sick of ordering online and getting 'unpredictable' quality delivered by Amazon - I'd like to be able to bring some purchases home from in-store.

DH will rarely be seen out shopping - can't stand it. I'm not the biggest shopper, but sometimes we need to get it in?

I do have friends that drive, though don't want to ask - they don't go in for the same items as me - I also prefer not to spend all Saturday shopping - if I can get out on a weeknight and do click/collect I'd rather do that.

You take a taxi home after the shopping or your dh does the shopping on a set schedule and including the heavy items. His choice. He can let you know this evening what he prefers.

This!

I can’t believe he expects you to lug heavy items home on the bus with the excuse that he’s crap at DIY!

Taking a taxi is not a treat and you don't need to justify it either.

The money that comes into your household is yours to spend too is it not?

You say you love your husband very much, does he love you as much? I ask because if he does and he cares about your health and welfare he wouldn't even blink an eye at you using a taxi.

My husband would be suggesting/insisting I got a taxi back in your circumstances, my health and comfort would be the priority not the cost of the taxi.

I find this really strange that you’re this worried about this - and particularly that you’re worried others will think you’ve had a licence taken away if you get a taxi 🤷‍♀️😳 No one is going to give it any thought whatsoever. At all. You’re massively overthinking this.

Do you and your dh have your own spending money? Dh and I pool all our income - he works, I don’t, but we give ourselves the same and set amount of spending money into our own bank accounts to spend as we wish. If you could do this he literally has no say / knowledge of what you do with your money.

What a strange and obscure notion that anyone would think you'd had your license taken away. Nobody in their right minds (or even not in their right minds) would look at someone getting a taxi and assume they'd lost their license, not for a single second. Do they also think the same thing about people on buses or trains?

He doesn't get to tell you how to get about. Particularly if he's not prepared to go out and do the shopping himself.

Is he afraid I will be judged getting into a cab and people will suspect I must be getting into a cab because I've had a licence taken away?
does he think only banned drivers use cabs? that's very odd

It's not relevant to the taxi question but I have a little rucksack that folds up into its own pocket (the Vango ones are good). It is so much easier to carry things this way.

Or just go for a proper rucksack and use it as your bag.

It might help when it's that in between in terms of can you manage or not so they are less frequent and you can keep up your walking to maintain some fitness..

Might not be point of thread but have you got a shopping trolley for things like this
depending where abouts you are in Manchester I’d be tempted to opt for bus or tram instead of a taxi

Is he afraid I will be judged getting into a cab and people will suspect I must be getting into a cab because I've had a licence taken away?

the over-thinking is on another level! People take cabs all the time, no one cares WHY

Of course if you don't want or can't book a delivery - sample the products in shops and order the full product later, you'd be nuts to carry everything yourself.

Personally I begrudge paying for taxi so I can see your DH's pov - I feel a bit of triumph in lugging home an Ikea shop on the tube even though we don't have a problem paying for cab fares. But then I'm lucky not to have pain issues and I also get free public transport so there's a bigger cost differential.

I would look into any ways to get financial support with taxis - my mum has bad foot pain and gets PIP and a taxi card to put towards taxi fares. And consider items that would help you transport by pushing/pulling rather than carrying (I've used our buggy without a baby in it to push big shops home, and also pulled small bits of furniture strapped to rolling trolley I got in Ikea).

Yep.

I would order bulky items online as I couldn’t justify the costs of a taxi on the regular.

Quite a few younger people I know have never learnt to drive including one of my sons, they think nothing of hopping in ubers even when not lugging heavy shopping! They live in cities, not worth the expense, hassle of parking ect. As soon as you drive a car out of the garage it depreciates by at least £1000 and continues to do so every year, insurance, road tax, MOT at least another £1000 plus fuel..........your positively saving money by taking the odd taxi🌻

@pernet
There's no triumph in making life difficult and potentially injuring yourself or others lugging furniture on public transport.
There's no shame in using a taxi.

Depends a lot on the cost - it's £40 to get a taxi home for us vs £3 on the bus, only one road available from the city centre home so using a cab would be pretty wasteful, it's a 5 minute walk from the bus stop home, so justifiably I would only take a short cab home. I'm the same age and bigger so I do get the "not getting younger" feeling but I'm quite capable of walking around the city and carrying a few bags

20 min walk carrying food for 2+ people isn't enjoyable. Food is heavy. Definitely book taxi unless DH does the hauling. He could get a little trolley.

I've never once seen someone get in a taxi and wondered if they have been banned from driving. Maybe just me but it seems ridiculous that the thought would cross anyone's mind. If you can afford it there's nothing wrong with getting a taxi. Especially with tins of paint and bulky items, no way would I be carrying them home.

Lol at this. Hardly anyone gets banned from driving. There are tens of thousands of people with more than 12 points who still have their licence. And doubtless loads more who drive illegally

What a strange post. My DH wouldn't care or question me getting a taxi.

If it’s not an issue financially then I’d say it’s fine, but if money is tight then no.

Your DH sounds like a misery.
If you can afford it, go for it.
Even my dad (who was an epic penny pincher Yorkshireman) used to say it would be cheaper to get a taxi when needed than keep a car if it was just for shopping trips.

You should get your groceries delivered. But of course it's fine to use a taxi sometimes. I only ever really either walk short distance or taxi further. Due to my disabilities. It's still cheaper than running a car.

While I totally do not begrudge you getting a cab when you have heavy stuff, I have to ask, so you know what’s causing all that chronic pain in your body when you’re in your 40s? Do you have a diagnosis?

If it costs loads to get home vs a £3 bus ticket and you're going to the shops several times a week... then he might have a point.

Could you use a wheeled trolley, there are much nicer ones than the old granny shoppers in tartan wipe clean fabric these days.

But if its a reasonable cost, I really can't see how getting a taxi back is a problem, certainly don't see why anyone would judge or come to the conclusion you're getting a taxi because you've had your licence taken away for committing some horrific driving crime. Surely anyone who knows you knows you can't drive, and anyone who doesn't, really doesn't matter!