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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My horrible neighbours are back, feel desperate

220 replies

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:05

This isn't really an AIBU more a "how the hell am I going to cope"

in the Summer of 2022 the horrible house next door to me was sold at auction and I was initially so relieved thinking that someone had bought it and was going to do it up. It had gone to rack and ruin over the past 6 years or so wiht a bad landlord, a horrible tenant who was rude to everyone who asked him to tackle the broken fences, the brambles and massive buddleia that took over the tiny back yard and encroached into the communal entry making it very difficult to get bins in and out. Oh was I happy when the house was sold. New landlord arrived and spent 4 days whitewashing it and then the same weekend the new tenants arrived. They are Roma and they live a very alternative life style which is the best way to express how they are. They have filled the back yard with scrap, they broke the communal gate which I paid to replace, they then broke that, they broke into my back yard and took my bin, went through my gardening box, they shout and yell til about 2am. They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her. I guess they managed to do all the fraud stuff by using the correct ID for their address and then saying they had moved. Anyway that is just a snapshot of the hell, there is the flytipping, the constant noise, ask them politely to keep it down and they swear at me, they chuck bin bags out on the street. I cannot use my back yard due to the constant noise, I used to have a pretty little garden out there but have given up now. This winter they must have had a blocked drainage pipe which they then tampered with and all their bath water was running out into my yard! Reported all the issues to the council who did an inspection and said there were "significant issues" and they were taking action. That was nearly 20 months ago! Suddenly at the start of December 2024 they vanished, all the curtains went, all the furniture went and I thought they had done a runner and was so relieved. My mental health began to improve, I felt relaxed at home, I enjoyed Christmas and even began to think about doing up my back yard for the Summer. Tonight I saw lights on, hear shouting and see that they or other friends/family are back. Feel hopeless and depressed, can't afford to move and anyway who would buy my house other than another slum landlord? guess I am just venting as i am so upset . I have made numerous reports to the council and to the police (forgot to say they were doing what looked like drug dealing for a while, people knocking on the door and small packages and cash being exchanged) it is a row of terraces that open onto the street so things are very visible. Feel hopeless, they made my life wretched and now they are back. It is a two up two down and they sometimes have as many as 10 adults in there, last year I caught them just about to take my mothers day flowers off the step, they called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I have asked them not to shout all the time.When it is really bad I have to wear earplugs in the kitchen In despair about having to endure it all over again.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 17/01/2025 18:09

Please don't waste your energy any further on how it affects them or trying to encourage them to see the light and change their ways. They won't. Concentrate on you and how it affects you.

It looks like you've tried to resolve this for ages and it's no better. I think you need to move. I know it's hard. I'm still upset I had to move and lose money to do so but my health couldn't take it. No one understands how miserable it is until they've lived through it. I had platitudes and advice and love and light vibes and they served no purpose.

locomotive98 · 17/01/2025 18:25

Normally councillors are helpful in getting issues resolved - they will pressure council management to do something. I would chase the councillor and ask for a written explanation as to what is being done - or why nothing has been done. Getting the press involved might be the next step if you want to pursue it.

But as I said before, I think you have a long battle ahead of you and no guarantee of a successful resolution. I would do everything I could to move out of the area, no matter the cost.

BoldBlueZebra · 17/01/2025 18:34

I used we buy any house to offload a heap of shit I bought with the worst neighbour on earth and his crackhead sons and unlicensed untrained xl bullys that he just let out the gate. It was worth every penny to just come home at night and know I could get on my drive without confrontation and go out my garden gate to walk my dog without fear of his loose bully running in the lane

Greywhippet · 17/01/2025 18:37

Mingenious · 17/01/2025 09:40

There is quite some difference between thinking people you don’t like for spurious reasons should be round up and murdered, and believe that people who move to another country and cause nothing but problems there should be deported.

Sorry but where do you actually think Roma people are from. Do you think they are immigrants?! Read a book

lifeonmars100 · 17/01/2025 18:37

BoldBlueZebra · 17/01/2025 18:34

I used we buy any house to offload a heap of shit I bought with the worst neighbour on earth and his crackhead sons and unlicensed untrained xl bullys that he just let out the gate. It was worth every penny to just come home at night and know I could get on my drive without confrontation and go out my garden gate to walk my dog without fear of his loose bully running in the lane

that sounds horrific, what a terrible thing to go through

OP posts:
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 17/01/2025 18:43

If you can evidence 3 complaints, to 3 agencies (council, police etc) within 6 months then you can request an ASB Case Review (sometimes called a Community Trigger). It's usually a good way to get the council to act because they have to publish how many reviews they are subject to.

It'll being the relevant council depts and police to the table to discuss a resolution and create an action plan.

Do other neighbours complain? If so, you may want to discuss setting up a residents association. Cllrs tend to give them more attention than just a singular person.

Mingenious · 17/01/2025 19:09

Greywhippet · 17/01/2025 18:37

Sorry but where do you actually think Roma people are from. Do you think they are immigrants?! Read a book

The Roma that have ruined a whole town here are Eastern European, couldn't tell you where exactly but they aren’t British.

BoldBlueZebra · 17/01/2025 19:19

we buy any house and their ilk may be complete scammers and rip off merchants but I couldn’t in good conscience sell that horrid house with the neighbour from hell to someone I had met - it was a family sized house and I couldn’t live with myself if someone with little kids moved in there. As it is the people who bought it from we buy any house are as bad as he is so it feels like karma

ArtTheClown · 17/01/2025 19:21

Sorry but where do you actually think Roma people are from. Do you think they are immigrants?! Read a book

OP is referring to Eastern European Roma so yes they will be recent immmigrants.

Iknjtjumpers · 17/01/2025 19:34

I can’t imagine how awful this must be for you. It makes me thankful to have quiet neighbours. It would be my worst nightmare and my heart goes out to anyone in your position.

Friends of mine lived next door to a problematic family and it eventually forced them to sell up and move. They moved to their lovely forever home and they probably wouldn’t have done so if their situation had not given them the push. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

JMSA · 17/01/2025 19:57

Fuck that. They either contribute to our society or, at the very least, live peaceably alongside their neighbours. Or return them to where they came from.
Anyone who would argue otherwise is a mug of the highest order.

I really, really feel for you OP Flowers

Ohnobackagain · 19/01/2025 18:01

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 17/01/2025 18:43

If you can evidence 3 complaints, to 3 agencies (council, police etc) within 6 months then you can request an ASB Case Review (sometimes called a Community Trigger). It's usually a good way to get the council to act because they have to publish how many reviews they are subject to.

It'll being the relevant council depts and police to the table to discuss a resolution and create an action plan.

Do other neighbours complain? If so, you may want to discuss setting up a residents association. Cllrs tend to give them more attention than just a singular person.

Not sure if you saw this @lifeonmars100

Welshmonster · 21/01/2025 00:22

Report the children you see out of school to the local authority designated safeguarding officer as this should make them get off their butts if only to support the children.

it’s a safeguarding concern.

sarah419 · 21/01/2025 05:55

sorry to hear :(( any way you can make their lives difficult? take videos? call police on them regularly? keep annoying the council - literally call them every day?

BuildbyNumbere · 21/01/2025 07:01

Are the rest of the neighbours not complaining also, can you not all get together and keep complaining to the council … also environmental health. Also might be worth getting CCTV if they are coming into your garden or shouting abuse you can report to the police.

FunFinch · 21/01/2025 09:21

You have my sympathy. I brought my first home which was also a 2 up 2 down terrace years ago, the neighbours were lovely but after a few years they sold up to a Polish landlord who rented to an older Polish couple. We didn't think anything of it as they were in their 60s so wrongly assumed they would be quiet and normal. Unfortunately they were massive drug users and ravers, they would rave for 24hrs straight. If they weren't raving they were drilling, hammering and just constantly noisy. Whenever we left the house they would stare out the windows, or come outside to smoke and say things in their language and spit on the floor it was so unnerving. They would purposely park they're car across our parking spaces so we couldn't park outside our property and just made it very obvious they didn't want us there. We were there over covid and it made me so ill as we couldn't escape them and they started having more and more people round and they would party on our lawn at 4am with booboo. We rang the police several times as it was covid and they weren't interested. Eventually we decided to put the house up for sale and luckily managed to sell to the same landlord. We do wonder if the tenants had been put up to it to force our hand as it turned out the landlord owned a few properties on the estate.
I think sadly for you there are only 2 options, put up with it and hope they move on, or sell up and move yourself. Personally after being through it, I would sell up and move and that way you can have a complete fresh start. It's just so unfair people get away with being so selfish, inconsiderate and damn right nasty.
You may be lucky and the awful landlord might want your property when it's up and you can have a quick sale.

DraigCymraeg · 21/01/2025 13:16

What about the police?

GrandmotherStillLearning · 21/01/2025 13:33

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:05

This isn't really an AIBU more a "how the hell am I going to cope"

in the Summer of 2022 the horrible house next door to me was sold at auction and I was initially so relieved thinking that someone had bought it and was going to do it up. It had gone to rack and ruin over the past 6 years or so wiht a bad landlord, a horrible tenant who was rude to everyone who asked him to tackle the broken fences, the brambles and massive buddleia that took over the tiny back yard and encroached into the communal entry making it very difficult to get bins in and out. Oh was I happy when the house was sold. New landlord arrived and spent 4 days whitewashing it and then the same weekend the new tenants arrived. They are Roma and they live a very alternative life style which is the best way to express how they are. They have filled the back yard with scrap, they broke the communal gate which I paid to replace, they then broke that, they broke into my back yard and took my bin, went through my gardening box, they shout and yell til about 2am. They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her. I guess they managed to do all the fraud stuff by using the correct ID for their address and then saying they had moved. Anyway that is just a snapshot of the hell, there is the flytipping, the constant noise, ask them politely to keep it down and they swear at me, they chuck bin bags out on the street. I cannot use my back yard due to the constant noise, I used to have a pretty little garden out there but have given up now. This winter they must have had a blocked drainage pipe which they then tampered with and all their bath water was running out into my yard! Reported all the issues to the council who did an inspection and said there were "significant issues" and they were taking action. That was nearly 20 months ago! Suddenly at the start of December 2024 they vanished, all the curtains went, all the furniture went and I thought they had done a runner and was so relieved. My mental health began to improve, I felt relaxed at home, I enjoyed Christmas and even began to think about doing up my back yard for the Summer. Tonight I saw lights on, hear shouting and see that they or other friends/family are back. Feel hopeless and depressed, can't afford to move and anyway who would buy my house other than another slum landlord? guess I am just venting as i am so upset . I have made numerous reports to the council and to the police (forgot to say they were doing what looked like drug dealing for a while, people knocking on the door and small packages and cash being exchanged) it is a row of terraces that open onto the street so things are very visible. Feel hopeless, they made my life wretched and now they are back. It is a two up two down and they sometimes have as many as 10 adults in there, last year I caught them just about to take my mothers day flowers off the step, they called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I have asked them not to shout all the time.When it is really bad I have to wear earplugs in the kitchen In despair about having to endure it all over again.

Can you move at all and just give it up ?
Fraud is fraud so every letter you get put in another envelope with a note and return to sender saying they live next door at number 4 and are fraudsters. It does work. Go to police too on line and email everything. They won't do a lot but will archive and it builds a picture .

Failing that hire a hit man

ladyofshertonabbas · 21/01/2025 13:39

This is awful, so angry for you. I second suggestions of auction/ webuyanyhouse, MP, crystal amulets to maybe freak them out a bit. I hope people are along with more helpful and detailed advice.

Widower2014 · 21/01/2025 13:55

Everytine they are screamed n shouting, ring 999 and report domestic violence.
Ring crimestoppers for the drug dealing
If kids there ring social services
Get the owners phone number and ring him everytine it kicks off
Report the fraud and identity theft as well

Cicicampbell · 21/01/2025 14:13

Ah that's awful. I would report the issues to the anti social behaviour team at you local council. Locally we have them and there is multiple people present, MH, police, environmental health, housing agencies. Keep a diary and keep reporting. It takes a long time to gain the evidence together enough to take action, but it does happen. Good luck.

Tolkienista · 21/01/2025 14:29

user1471538283 · 17/01/2025 18:09

Please don't waste your energy any further on how it affects them or trying to encourage them to see the light and change their ways. They won't. Concentrate on you and how it affects you.

It looks like you've tried to resolve this for ages and it's no better. I think you need to move. I know it's hard. I'm still upset I had to move and lose money to do so but my health couldn't take it. No one understands how miserable it is until they've lived through it. I had platitudes and advice and love and light vibes and they served no purpose.

@user1471538283 what great advice, your message says it all.
This poor woman is in a living nightmare, she's done everything she can & it's time to put her mental health first and simply move.

lifeonmars100 · 21/01/2025 14:31

Thanks everybody for all the useful advice .

I have been in contact with the council via their Selective Licensing department for over 2 years now and have all the emails

I have seen my local councillor
I have kept all the letters relating to the various frauds
I have reported the drug dealing and verbal abuse to the police
Enviromental health are aware of the issues
Other neighbours find them very problematic and are sorry for me being next door to them, people especially dislike the rubbish and the noise. I don't know if they would complain though
I have written to the landlord on three occasions, I would love to obtain his phone number but have no idea how to do this
Moving isn't really an option as my house is of low value in a bad area and I am retired so no chance of increasing my income.
I had a look at the companies who buy property for cash, they offer 80% of the market value, my house is only worth about £150k which means that I would not have sufficient to move to a better area where most small house like mine start at about £200k
I get so depressed, worked hard as a single parent to pay for and renovate my home. It was a struggle at times and now feels as if it was for nothing.

OP posts:
Porkychops · 21/01/2025 14:35

My friend had a landlord lease his house to.someone who ran a bail hostel, eventually he went round and confronted the landlord in person.and the landlord got fed up of the.moaning and eventually re let it to a normal person
Would this be an option? Or spamming landlord with recorded delivery letters?

Tolkienista · 21/01/2025 14:37

lifeonmars100 · 21/01/2025 14:31

Thanks everybody for all the useful advice .

I have been in contact with the council via their Selective Licensing department for over 2 years now and have all the emails

I have seen my local councillor
I have kept all the letters relating to the various frauds
I have reported the drug dealing and verbal abuse to the police
Enviromental health are aware of the issues
Other neighbours find them very problematic and are sorry for me being next door to them, people especially dislike the rubbish and the noise. I don't know if they would complain though
I have written to the landlord on three occasions, I would love to obtain his phone number but have no idea how to do this
Moving isn't really an option as my house is of low value in a bad area and I am retired so no chance of increasing my income.
I had a look at the companies who buy property for cash, they offer 80% of the market value, my house is only worth about £150k which means that I would not have sufficient to move to a better area where most small house like mine start at about £200k
I get so depressed, worked hard as a single parent to pay for and renovate my home. It was a struggle at times and now feels as if it was for nothing.

@lifeonmars100 How desperately sad your plight is & how utterly unfair the situation you envisage going forward.
I know what it's like to live next to difficult neighbours it literally rules your life and overtakes every waking moment. Horrendous.
I can only hope and pray that something happens to return you to a way of life that you can live with in peace and quiet.
Thanks for sharing your story.

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