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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My horrible neighbours are back, feel desperate

220 replies

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:05

This isn't really an AIBU more a "how the hell am I going to cope"

in the Summer of 2022 the horrible house next door to me was sold at auction and I was initially so relieved thinking that someone had bought it and was going to do it up. It had gone to rack and ruin over the past 6 years or so wiht a bad landlord, a horrible tenant who was rude to everyone who asked him to tackle the broken fences, the brambles and massive buddleia that took over the tiny back yard and encroached into the communal entry making it very difficult to get bins in and out. Oh was I happy when the house was sold. New landlord arrived and spent 4 days whitewashing it and then the same weekend the new tenants arrived. They are Roma and they live a very alternative life style which is the best way to express how they are. They have filled the back yard with scrap, they broke the communal gate which I paid to replace, they then broke that, they broke into my back yard and took my bin, went through my gardening box, they shout and yell til about 2am. They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her. I guess they managed to do all the fraud stuff by using the correct ID for their address and then saying they had moved. Anyway that is just a snapshot of the hell, there is the flytipping, the constant noise, ask them politely to keep it down and they swear at me, they chuck bin bags out on the street. I cannot use my back yard due to the constant noise, I used to have a pretty little garden out there but have given up now. This winter they must have had a blocked drainage pipe which they then tampered with and all their bath water was running out into my yard! Reported all the issues to the council who did an inspection and said there were "significant issues" and they were taking action. That was nearly 20 months ago! Suddenly at the start of December 2024 they vanished, all the curtains went, all the furniture went and I thought they had done a runner and was so relieved. My mental health began to improve, I felt relaxed at home, I enjoyed Christmas and even began to think about doing up my back yard for the Summer. Tonight I saw lights on, hear shouting and see that they or other friends/family are back. Feel hopeless and depressed, can't afford to move and anyway who would buy my house other than another slum landlord? guess I am just venting as i am so upset . I have made numerous reports to the council and to the police (forgot to say they were doing what looked like drug dealing for a while, people knocking on the door and small packages and cash being exchanged) it is a row of terraces that open onto the street so things are very visible. Feel hopeless, they made my life wretched and now they are back. It is a two up two down and they sometimes have as many as 10 adults in there, last year I caught them just about to take my mothers day flowers off the step, they called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I have asked them not to shout all the time.When it is really bad I have to wear earplugs in the kitchen In despair about having to endure it all over again.

OP posts:
RhathymicandMaenadic · 17/01/2025 04:19

oakleaffy · 16/01/2025 23:56

Oh no, I didn't read that you actually owned your house..

Could you sell to a slum landlord?

No one else will want to buy it with neighbours like that...

Try and find a 'middle class' area and live there, where people tend to keep themselves to themselves and are quiet.

Plenty of your 'undesirable types' live in 'nice middle class areas'
I think the phrase you are looking for is a 'Security patrolled gated community where no riff-raff get to ener' as a place to live.

RhathymicandMaenadic · 17/01/2025 04:26

oakleaffy · 17/01/2025 00:14

You should have seen London... it was really awful with drunkenness, filth and littering, defecating and urinating openly {women too} and trash all over Park Lane. Aggressive begging &c.

Well, that news will upset those telling the OP to move to a 'naice middle-class area'!!
I think you may have omitted the bit where they are actually living in tents on Park Lane, rather than in a proprty let by a 'slum landlord'. Context is everything; a lack thereof causes racism, prejudice and hysteria.

user1492757084 · 17/01/2025 04:28

Call the Police when they trespass or steal things, call council every time they break a sound curfew.
Take video evidence, take notes. Keep hastling landlord, every time.
Eventually they might move on or change their ways ....

RhathymicandMaenadic · 17/01/2025 04:28

Oh dear, @AInightingale !

RhathymicandMaenadic · 17/01/2025 04:32

For the confused...
The term Gypsy comes from “Egyptian” which is what the settled population perceived them to be because of their dark complexion. In reality, linguistic analysis of the Romani language proves that Romany Gypsies, like the European Roma, originally came from Northern India, probably around the 12th century.

BeethovenNinth · 17/01/2025 04:38

Why are these people living here?

oP - somehow you have to move. I’m so sorry.

Adamante · 17/01/2025 04:46

Not sure what is achieved by having to announce their ethnicity though

I knew I’d find this kind of posturing on this thread as soon as I read the OP and saw she had mentioned they were Roma 🙄. Cultural groups sometimes exhibit specific behaviours that are common to that group. It is NOT racism or bigotry to observe that. Pretending it is, is one of the ways we are being forced to accept behaviours that disrupt and damage our society. It’s that kind of virtue signalling that enabled The Rape Gangs to continue unchecked as they have. I’d be embarrassed to come onto a thread where an OP is struggling so much and give them a little luxury belief based telling off like that.

Guavafish1 · 17/01/2025 04:50

Call the council to get advice

Beeloux · 17/01/2025 05:18

So sorry OP this sounds like utter hell. Why are they allowed to get away with it? Treating the place like an utter pigsty.
A family member owns a fishing farm and Roma people were pinching the expensive fish. When reported to the police, family member was told they couldn’t do anything because in their culture they can take from the land. Hmm

Littlegirlscanbemean · 17/01/2025 05:25

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 16/01/2025 23:55

So sorry for you @lifeonmars100 ! Write to your MP, cc to your local councillors and your Safer Neighbourhood Team (SNT), and also cc the Council's Anti-Social Behaviour Team.

In your initial email, list your grievances, the number of times you've tried to get the authorities involved, and attach photos and video clips.

Then be the squeaky wheel that gets the grease - follow up every week asking what they're doing about it, attach the original email and attachments. Keep going, give it three weeks then threaten going to the press and on social media. You don't want to go to the press as you definitely don't want to be publicly identified as the complainant, this lot are menacing and could be dangerous. Keep emailing, keep demanding answers, and don't hesitate to call 101 to record events and get CAD numbers, or straight to 999 if you feel threatened.

The suggestion of approaching the council's social housing department or local housing associations about buying your property is also worth looking into if only to have options to consider. Best of luck..💐

Agree with your advice.

OP. I'm sorry you are going through this. Try installing security cam (but put it indoor overlooking your garden for privacy rule ) as to record evidence.

It will do nothing if you write the the landlord. The landlord is "in the business", he/she has the ability to get anyone to collect rents by cash from these people,meaning that he/she could have been connected with their criminal activities. Great job for reporting to HMRC.

Barney16 · 17/01/2025 06:11

As someone has said try your MP. Make a formal complaint to your local council using their complaints procedure. You will find it on their website. Then send a copy of your complaint to your MP. In the actual complaint you make write please note I have sent a copy of this complaint to xxx xxx name of MP. Document everything, if nothing else it will make you feel purposeful. Chase up the complaint regularly. If you haven't already contact a solicitor that specialises in housing. Sometimes your house insurance has legal cover so check. A solicitors letter to the landlord may be effective.

localnotail · 17/01/2025 06:20

This is so horrible! Poor OP. All I can say, keep the record of all the crap they are up to and keep complaining. Dont give up.

To clarify to those who dont know - Roma are not Romanians, they are what in my country is called Gypsies. They are a nomad type group living in every country in Europe, and they behave the same way everywhere. They also have a distinctive look, a bit Mediterranean? Not sure about their origins but they are stereotypically known for theft, begging, trickery and being very loud and messy - but also their music. They are obviously different from Travellers here but live a similar lifestyle as in they exist "outside" of the system - cash economy, limited involvement with schools, work odd/ illegal jobs etc.

user1471538283 · 17/01/2025 06:24

I'm so sorry. I sold my house to get away from 2 awful neighbours and it did such a number on my mental health it took me years to recover.

You could give it one last try to get them gone. Go to your MP, noise abatement, environmental health and the police. In my city I've found that whatever you do doesn't stop it though.

Get an estate agent round for a price and if it's at all suitable move.

SleepyHippy3 · 17/01/2025 06:26

AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 16/01/2025 22:21

Pray. Honestly

What?

Nat6999 · 17/01/2025 06:27

The city I live in has an area which is mainly Roma people & it has become a virtual no go area, rubbish piled up in gardens & on the streets, even the police avoid it. I feel for you having had awful neighbours, which ended up with me exchanging my lovely council house for a flat. Contact your MP & councillors & keep on at them.

ThejoyofNC · 17/01/2025 06:33

Oh great, another gypsy bashing thread.

What has their ethnicity got to do with anything?

Do you even know who/what Roma are?

localnotail · 17/01/2025 06:49

ThejoyofNC · 17/01/2025 06:33

Oh great, another gypsy bashing thread.

What has their ethnicity got to do with anything?

Do you even know who/what Roma are?

This got nothing to do with "bashing" Roma or their ethnicity. But socially and culturally, they often do behave like this - I grew up in an Easter European country and they were exactly as described on here - noisy, loud, messy, law breaking - and not good neighbours. These are obviously the ones that are visible, I'm sure there are Roma who are not like this at all.

TheaBrandt · 17/01/2025 06:51

Utter sympathy we had similar but not as bad but it’s terrible for your mental health. Lived in a lovely Georgian maisonette but the landlord next door let to council tenants. Gangsta rap undesirables hanging round swearing drugs shouting fights in street large out of control dogs no one worked. We moved were going to anyway but this brought the decision forward. Wasn’t as bad as yours though.

Greywhippet · 17/01/2025 06:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

That’s because it is racist. You want the government to deport the Roma population???

missdeamenor · 17/01/2025 07:06

Flyingcarpet mentioned Inland Revenue, and in my experience, landlords like this only take notice if they think money might be lost. Gather as much evidence as possible and tell the landlord his property is being damaged and will be worthless if they're allowed to stay. It's a nightmare, but keep fighting.

Take action anonymously as these people are dangerous.

Pat888 · 17/01/2025 07:06

In the past like 50 years ago you’d get a gang of local toughs to go round and duff the men up, likewise paedophiles , I’m sure everyone will come on clutching their pearls but what can you do nowadays , they have human rights on their side. Do anything yourself .as Demonstrated by post above - you’re the racist who would end up in gaol.

Easipeelerie · 17/01/2025 07:14

My priority in your situation would be to move as any intervention is not going to happen quickly enough.
My fantasy priority would be to rescue the 14 year old boy and help him get into education.

Hwi · 17/01/2025 07:15

Nothing you can do, I am afraid and if you as much as open your mouth to say anything, you will be labelled 'racist' and it could be very serious, please bear it in mind. My line of work would not even entertain any investigation into 'who said what', one 'racist' word would be enough to finish off a career. Be very, very careful.

localnotail · 17/01/2025 07:17

Greywhippet · 17/01/2025 06:52

That’s because it is racist. You want the government to deport the Roma population???

Roma were one of the ethnic groups rounded up and killed off by Hitler so they had their fair share or horror and sadness. Also, they dont have a specific Roma country, they live all over Europe.

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