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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My horrible neighbours are back, feel desperate

220 replies

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:05

This isn't really an AIBU more a "how the hell am I going to cope"

in the Summer of 2022 the horrible house next door to me was sold at auction and I was initially so relieved thinking that someone had bought it and was going to do it up. It had gone to rack and ruin over the past 6 years or so wiht a bad landlord, a horrible tenant who was rude to everyone who asked him to tackle the broken fences, the brambles and massive buddleia that took over the tiny back yard and encroached into the communal entry making it very difficult to get bins in and out. Oh was I happy when the house was sold. New landlord arrived and spent 4 days whitewashing it and then the same weekend the new tenants arrived. They are Roma and they live a very alternative life style which is the best way to express how they are. They have filled the back yard with scrap, they broke the communal gate which I paid to replace, they then broke that, they broke into my back yard and took my bin, went through my gardening box, they shout and yell til about 2am. They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her. I guess they managed to do all the fraud stuff by using the correct ID for their address and then saying they had moved. Anyway that is just a snapshot of the hell, there is the flytipping, the constant noise, ask them politely to keep it down and they swear at me, they chuck bin bags out on the street. I cannot use my back yard due to the constant noise, I used to have a pretty little garden out there but have given up now. This winter they must have had a blocked drainage pipe which they then tampered with and all their bath water was running out into my yard! Reported all the issues to the council who did an inspection and said there were "significant issues" and they were taking action. That was nearly 20 months ago! Suddenly at the start of December 2024 they vanished, all the curtains went, all the furniture went and I thought they had done a runner and was so relieved. My mental health began to improve, I felt relaxed at home, I enjoyed Christmas and even began to think about doing up my back yard for the Summer. Tonight I saw lights on, hear shouting and see that they or other friends/family are back. Feel hopeless and depressed, can't afford to move and anyway who would buy my house other than another slum landlord? guess I am just venting as i am so upset . I have made numerous reports to the council and to the police (forgot to say they were doing what looked like drug dealing for a while, people knocking on the door and small packages and cash being exchanged) it is a row of terraces that open onto the street so things are very visible. Feel hopeless, they made my life wretched and now they are back. It is a two up two down and they sometimes have as many as 10 adults in there, last year I caught them just about to take my mothers day flowers off the step, they called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I have asked them not to shout all the time.When it is really bad I have to wear earplugs in the kitchen In despair about having to endure it all over again.

OP posts:
Startrekkeruniverse · 16/01/2025 23:25

get the press and local councillor involved op.

PrincessofWells · 16/01/2025 23:26

@lifeonmars100 if you aren't getting any action, it really is worth making a formal complaint about the council's lack of action. Use the formal complaints process and make individual complaints about the licensing dept and Environmental Health.

They have to follow their complaints process and if not upheld finish up with the local government ombudsman. The LGO is also able to command a course of action.

I would avoid mentioning they are Roma, it's irrelevant.

In parallel you should ask your local councillor to call and lay it out before them.

There are other routes you could take, but these for you, will be expensive unless you have legal experience.

locomotive98 · 16/01/2025 23:28

I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like any resolution is likely to take a long time, and even if they leave of their own accord, there's no guarantee that the new tenants will be any different. Could you afford to sell the house for a low price at auction or to a property buying company and still be able to buy somewhere new? That's what I would do, even if I had to move to a different area or a smaller house. Your mental health comes first.

Wishing you luck.

PrincessofWells · 16/01/2025 23:28

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Don't be ridiculous and keep your racism to yourself.

JMSA · 16/01/2025 23:31

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lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 23:32

LuluBlakey1 · 16/01/2025 23:17

I work for our Local Authority in School Improvement. We find them harder to deal with than any other group- the men in particular.

The men are truly misogynistic, one of my mates has to walk past a group of them to get to her corner shop and they block the pavement, When she asked them to move they called her a "bitch cunt"! I live in a really racially diverse area, and have never known anything like this group of people, the rudeness, the anti-social behaviour, the spitting, the lttering, the lack of respect for anything and anyone. Apparenlty taking female children out of school at the end of primary education is very common as evidenced by the missing girl who had been registered as living at my house. Poor little thing, who is not going to get a full education and has no choice in the matter

OP posts:
ArtTheClown · 16/01/2025 23:36

I am so, so sorry for you. Our home is meant to be our sanctuary, when it isn't it is immensely stressful and distressing. And authorities seem so toothless, and law abiding people are just left to suffer.

A friend is a teacher in an area in a cachment area where there are many Eastern European Roma and was punched in the face by a parent, in addition to numerous verbal assaults and threats.

Anxious89 · 16/01/2025 23:36

OP you have my sympathies - I have been in this situation and it made me the closest I have been to suicidal, no one understands until they experience it themselves

Tale all your energy and emotion and divert it into action - report, report, report EVERYTHING. Record and take photos of everything, email everyday, make phone calls and follow up constantly - council, councillors, police, your local paper. You have to become impossible to ignore to force them to take action.

You deserve to be happy in your home. Wishing you luck 💐

Beeinalily · 16/01/2025 23:37

PrincessofWells · 16/01/2025 23:28

Don't be ridiculous and keep your racism to yourself.

Perhaps you'd like to swap houses with the OP?

ArtTheClown · 16/01/2025 23:37

On a practical note, in some areas you can sell your house to your local council to use for social housing. Might be worth looking if that is viable.

RhannionKPSS · 16/01/2025 23:37

I’m sorry you are in this situation, in your place I would sell and start again elsewhere. Your mental and physical health is far more important than anything else

LuluBlakey1 · 16/01/2025 23:38

Not only girls but boys too and when we try to make arrangements to discuss attendance concerns the men are horribly disrespectful to female staff and to their own wives.

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 23:38

locomotive98 · 16/01/2025 23:28

I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like any resolution is likely to take a long time, and even if they leave of their own accord, there's no guarantee that the new tenants will be any different. Could you afford to sell the house for a low price at auction or to a property buying company and still be able to buy somewhere new? That's what I would do, even if I had to move to a different area or a smaller house. Your mental health comes first.

Wishing you luck.

I live in a very cheap area, in a two up two down and I am retired now so really trapped, i am in despair, struggled so hard as a single parent to buy my house, do it up and maintain it, feel like my whole life has been an utter waste. This lot moved in about three months after I retired and it has ruined this time for me, was looking forward to doing a bit of gardening and decorating,, reading and relaxing and now when the noise is bad I can't use the back of the house. Very depressed

OP posts:
MargotMoon · 16/01/2025 23:42

OP, this sounds intolerable. I would cut my losses and explore selling, by hook or by crook. Can you try and get an ASBO in the meantime??

TypingoftheDead · 16/01/2025 23:44

This reply has been deleted

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Plenty of English natives are just as antisocial, too?

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 16/01/2025 23:47

Flyingcarpetintraining · 16/01/2025 22:57

It sounds like a horrible situation for you to be in. I really hope the council step up soon and do something about them.

if you suspect the landlord isn’t paying tax, perhaps HMRC would be interested. Might be worth a call to them. Doesn’t necessarily immediately help with your problem though, unfortunately.

HMRC are definitely going to be interested in tax fraud.

Go that route, it's worth a try.

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 23:48

I know someone who lived next door to a similar family and went through the same sort of stuff as me then one day they had gone and they never came back. When the people next door to me went about 7 weeks ago and the house was emptied I began to hope that maybe the landlord was finding it all too much trouble and evicted them, the lad I used to speak to had no idea about tenants' rights and did not even know who the landlord was so I gave him his name and address. Guess I just feel crushed as I thought things were going to change for the better. How wrong i was

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · 16/01/2025 23:48

I second getting on to your MP,ours was excellent with an issue I had.

Keep on at the council,document every little thing with times and dates.

oakleaffy · 16/01/2025 23:50

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:52

No, they pay the rent in cash, found this out when I was talking to one of the kids, 14 year old lad, very bright, excellent English and kept out of school to interpret for the rest of them. We have a sizable Roma population where I live and this is how they tend to live, renting out properties in dreadful condition, living in a cash only economy, dealing scrap and drugs. The landlord will doubtless have many such houses and is making a nice living off renting them out for cash and not paying tax.

How awful, @lifeonmars100
There was a big hoo hah in the news last year about some of this demographic being extremely problematic to live around, and almost a no go area for police.

Is there any way you could move? Preferably to a more middle class area where the landlords won't rent to troublemakers?

Location is everything.

At least if you rent, you don't have to worry about selling.

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 23:52

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 16/01/2025 23:47

HMRC are definitely going to be interested in tax fraud.

Go that route, it's worth a try.

Already reported him! bet he has loads of dodgy properties all over the place and deals in cash, he lives in a very nice, very expensive 5 bed and 3 reception room property in nice ground, bet he could get about 100 tenants in there given he can cram 10 people into a two up two down.

OP posts:
CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 16/01/2025 23:55

So sorry for you @lifeonmars100 ! Write to your MP, cc to your local councillors and your Safer Neighbourhood Team (SNT), and also cc the Council's Anti-Social Behaviour Team.

In your initial email, list your grievances, the number of times you've tried to get the authorities involved, and attach photos and video clips.

Then be the squeaky wheel that gets the grease - follow up every week asking what they're doing about it, attach the original email and attachments. Keep going, give it three weeks then threaten going to the press and on social media. You don't want to go to the press as you definitely don't want to be publicly identified as the complainant, this lot are menacing and could be dangerous. Keep emailing, keep demanding answers, and don't hesitate to call 101 to record events and get CAD numbers, or straight to 999 if you feel threatened.

The suggestion of approaching the council's social housing department or local housing associations about buying your property is also worth looking into if only to have options to consider. Best of luck..💐

oakleaffy · 16/01/2025 23:56

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 23:38

I live in a very cheap area, in a two up two down and I am retired now so really trapped, i am in despair, struggled so hard as a single parent to buy my house, do it up and maintain it, feel like my whole life has been an utter waste. This lot moved in about three months after I retired and it has ruined this time for me, was looking forward to doing a bit of gardening and decorating,, reading and relaxing and now when the noise is bad I can't use the back of the house. Very depressed

Oh no, I didn't read that you actually owned your house..

Could you sell to a slum landlord?

No one else will want to buy it with neighbours like that...

Try and find a 'middle class' area and live there, where people tend to keep themselves to themselves and are quiet.

Singasongofsixpence24 · 17/01/2025 00:01

Personally I'd be hanging the Evil eye amulet (somewhere obvious to you neighbours) to reflect back all that misery and negativity to it's source!

Black candles, herbs in bowls, crystals, tarot cards on the window sills or garden table.

Psychics monthly magazine or some such accidently blown into their garden.

If you dont care about other neighbours go out in your garden under the full moon and draw a circle in chalk and with weird symbols inside it. Fill the circle with candles, crystals, herbs in bowls, a skull symbol if you have one etc (for curses dont you know! )

For inside I would buy some recordings of monks chanting and play it nice and loud.
Even nice chanting for peace by Buddhist monks can sound unsettling if you don't know what it is.

Be the weird creepy neighbour!

YOU don't have to believe it for it to work IYSWIM.

Amybelle88 · 17/01/2025 00:02

Singasongofsixpence24 · 17/01/2025 00:01

Personally I'd be hanging the Evil eye amulet (somewhere obvious to you neighbours) to reflect back all that misery and negativity to it's source!

Black candles, herbs in bowls, crystals, tarot cards on the window sills or garden table.

Psychics monthly magazine or some such accidently blown into their garden.

If you dont care about other neighbours go out in your garden under the full moon and draw a circle in chalk and with weird symbols inside it. Fill the circle with candles, crystals, herbs in bowls, a skull symbol if you have one etc (for curses dont you know! )

For inside I would buy some recordings of monks chanting and play it nice and loud.
Even nice chanting for peace by Buddhist monks can sound unsettling if you don't know what it is.

Be the weird creepy neighbour!

YOU don't have to believe it for it to work IYSWIM.

I love this 😂😂😂