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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My horrible neighbours are back, feel desperate

220 replies

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:05

This isn't really an AIBU more a "how the hell am I going to cope"

in the Summer of 2022 the horrible house next door to me was sold at auction and I was initially so relieved thinking that someone had bought it and was going to do it up. It had gone to rack and ruin over the past 6 years or so wiht a bad landlord, a horrible tenant who was rude to everyone who asked him to tackle the broken fences, the brambles and massive buddleia that took over the tiny back yard and encroached into the communal entry making it very difficult to get bins in and out. Oh was I happy when the house was sold. New landlord arrived and spent 4 days whitewashing it and then the same weekend the new tenants arrived. They are Roma and they live a very alternative life style which is the best way to express how they are. They have filled the back yard with scrap, they broke the communal gate which I paid to replace, they then broke that, they broke into my back yard and took my bin, went through my gardening box, they shout and yell til about 2am. They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her. I guess they managed to do all the fraud stuff by using the correct ID for their address and then saying they had moved. Anyway that is just a snapshot of the hell, there is the flytipping, the constant noise, ask them politely to keep it down and they swear at me, they chuck bin bags out on the street. I cannot use my back yard due to the constant noise, I used to have a pretty little garden out there but have given up now. This winter they must have had a blocked drainage pipe which they then tampered with and all their bath water was running out into my yard! Reported all the issues to the council who did an inspection and said there were "significant issues" and they were taking action. That was nearly 20 months ago! Suddenly at the start of December 2024 they vanished, all the curtains went, all the furniture went and I thought they had done a runner and was so relieved. My mental health began to improve, I felt relaxed at home, I enjoyed Christmas and even began to think about doing up my back yard for the Summer. Tonight I saw lights on, hear shouting and see that they or other friends/family are back. Feel hopeless and depressed, can't afford to move and anyway who would buy my house other than another slum landlord? guess I am just venting as i am so upset . I have made numerous reports to the council and to the police (forgot to say they were doing what looked like drug dealing for a while, people knocking on the door and small packages and cash being exchanged) it is a row of terraces that open onto the street so things are very visible. Feel hopeless, they made my life wretched and now they are back. It is a two up two down and they sometimes have as many as 10 adults in there, last year I caught them just about to take my mothers day flowers off the step, they called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I have asked them not to shout all the time.When it is really bad I have to wear earplugs in the kitchen In despair about having to endure it all over again.

OP posts:
localnotail · 17/01/2025 07:19

Hwi · 17/01/2025 07:15

Nothing you can do, I am afraid and if you as much as open your mouth to say anything, you will be labelled 'racist' and it could be very serious, please bear it in mind. My line of work would not even entertain any investigation into 'who said what', one 'racist' word would be enough to finish off a career. Be very, very careful.

I think them being Roma has nothing to do with it - OP needs to concentrate on their awful behaviour, reporting someone for being antisocial and breaking laws is not "racist".

Notmydaughteryoubitch · 17/01/2025 07:22

In terms of progressing with the local authority I would absolutely get a councillor or MP involved, if they get on your side they will be pushing strongly with council and some can be very persistent.

westisbest1982 · 17/01/2025 07:29

Sooner or later they will realise it’s you that’s reporting them, if you carry on with this. I would feel very frightened in your vulnerable situation.

I’m amazed this scuzzy landlord is still operating after you’ve reported him several times for tax evasion.

There’s not going to be an easy answer here. You can’t sell up via an estate agent because the dispute will be on record and will deter potential buyers. I agree with others that selling via cash only is the best option.

Hwi · 17/01/2025 07:29

localnotail · 17/01/2025 07:19

I think them being Roma has nothing to do with it - OP needs to concentrate on their awful behaviour, reporting someone for being antisocial and breaking laws is not "racist".

Sorry, I stand corrected. I see what you mean - when I read it first, I thought they were typical Swiss neighbours.

Coffeesnob11 · 17/01/2025 07:31

I am so sorry this is happening.
Can I suggest that now you have officially complained by email you ring everyone once a week. Don't worry about being unpopular the council and the licensing place, they don't need to love you, they just need to do something.
Secondly, and I am sure you have, can you record dates and times of everything in a log?
Thirdly, can you set up cameras (inside so they can't get to them) for your property so it records the noise and any trespassing?
Lastly, book a meeting at your local mp's surgery, let them see the stress and concerns on their face.
You have a right to live in your own home peacefully.

RhathymicandMaenadic · 17/01/2025 07:34

BeethovenNinth · 17/01/2025 04:38

Why are these people living here?

oP - somehow you have to move. I’m so sorry.

'These people....'
Wow

Mingenious · 17/01/2025 07:37

Greywhippet · 17/01/2025 06:52

That’s because it is racist. You want the government to deport the Roma population???

If they all behave in a way that’s detrimental to people and communities that they live near, then, ummmm, yes?!

anterenea · 17/01/2025 07:38

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GivingitToGod · 17/01/2025 07:40

Endofyear · 16/01/2025 22:59

So sorry you're having to deal with this OP 😔 not sure what to suggest really, can you get together with other neighbours to complain en masse to the council? I would keep reporting all incidents to council and police, put cameras up if you can and film them/record the noise they are making at night. Call the police immediately for any threatening behaviour. Hopefully if you and other neighbours complain enough, the council will have to do something.

This. My heart goes out to you OP
I don't agree with selling your property at auction or on webuyanyhouse.com, you will get significantly less than market value.
Please explore the route of a collective complaint to council and environmental health, this may make you feel more empowered 🙏

Wonderi · 17/01/2025 07:41

They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her.

These things are fraud and illegal.
Keep reporting them to the police.

Keep a log and when you report them to the police, give them the landlords details.

If the landlord is getting stick for these people, then he may kick them out because it won’t be worth the hassle.
If he’s being dodgy, which I’m sure he is, then having the police etc contacting him is going to cause him problems.

If the young lad is ok, I would keep a relationship going with him.
He is going to get older and have more say over what happens in their home.
If you have a good relationship with him, then it will may help resolve issues in the future.

iwasntexpectingthatoops · 17/01/2025 07:41

@kindlypudding

We have had village meetings which included the parish council and police about the antisocial behaviour in our once quiet village. We all know it's about that family but it is rarely said

The police have basically said to just call them when anything happens and eventually they will move on. That just moves the problem to another area.

We have all witnessed the police outside their house and they shout and scream and the officers. The kids throw stones and run around them and the police don't do anything.

They appear to not have any sort of work apart from collecting scrap metal and other people's property. I do not understand how they are allowed to remain in this country. The men are in and out of prison, the women beg. They bring nothing to our society. Everyone is afraid of them. We shouldn't be made to feel like this in our own country.

My neighbour is Romanian and she said they're worse in Romania and they live separately to the Romanian people, it's pretty interesting really

Clarefromwork · 17/01/2025 07:41

Sorry if already suggested but could you put some cameras up as evidence of their behaviour?

So sorry you are going through this and I hope you managed to solve it soon

Vulvasaur · 17/01/2025 07:46

This reply has been deleted

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Roma people are not from Romania ffs they are a distinct ethnic group. I have NEVER seen such disgusting racism on mumsnet as I have on this thread. I have reported the comments about 'scum' etc. Honestly appalling

flyinghen · 17/01/2025 07:47

Honestly, if I were you I'd sell it to another slum landlord. If the price is right they'll buy it and then move.

Sorry you're going through this is sounds awful Sad

ForSparklyLemonLurker · 17/01/2025 07:49

Lots of virtue signalling. It's true,whilst not all of Roma folk are like this, it's pretty much 98% of the time.
There's one who begs outside the shops in town saying she's homeless and hungry. She looks very well fed and this cold weather wouldn't affect her at all.

Kindling1970 · 17/01/2025 07:49

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Please don’t lump all Roma in together. My dad’s side of the family are Roma and are lovely. All work, pay tax and live quietly!

flyinghen · 17/01/2025 07:50

Or as someone else said, we buy any house. Honestly just anyway to sell my house I would be gone!!

Wishing you luck!

Nonaynevernomore · 17/01/2025 07:51

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You understand wrong, educate yourself.

OP, nothing but sympathy and a handhold.

keep battling.

Blueglazzier · 17/01/2025 07:52

I couldn't pass on by and not say a few words to you . I had horrible neighbours attached to me for 6 years . Awful, but nothing like your horrible neighbours . Mine moved on and the relief I felt exhausted me . I hope with all my heart they move away and decent living respectful people move in . You poor soul 💔

Vulvasaur · 17/01/2025 07:52

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You're endorsing using dogs to attack roma people and put them in hospital? I'm going to request this thread be taken down. I really feel for OP but the ethnic origin of the neighbours is not relevant and this thread has become pretty fascist

whyhere · 17/01/2025 07:54

Haven't time to read the whole thread, so apologies if this is repetitious.

In my experience in these and similar circumstances, the answer is for you to become so much of a nuisance to 'the authorities' (police, landlord, other bodies) that their lives are made easier by responding to you than by ignoring you.

Phone calls, emails, letters, more phone calls, lots more phone calls..... I'm sure you get the idea. You shouldn't have to, but with all services hugely stretched these days, it's the only thing that works. Good luck!

Blinky21 · 17/01/2025 08:01

I've dealt with violent abusive neighbours. It makes my blood boil that local authorities can't deal with people who make others' lives a misery. I would be reporting everything to police as antisocial behaviour, every time. It was the police antisocial behaviour team who evicted my neighbour after taking him to court. I'd also be writing to you local councillor, going to your MP's surgeries. Do other neighbours have a problem with them, if so get them to write too

Waytooearlytogetup · 17/01/2025 08:05

It is worth keeping pressure up on the landlord. You can check if a mortgage is held on the property and by which provider and then start complaining to them too. Most mortgages will have some sort of a clause about illegal activities (and you dont know what was stated in the application so there could be mortgage fraud too) that would enable the pulling of a mortgage. Then keep reporting to the Police and give the mortgage company the stats on Police reporting. If mortgage company doesn't do something, threaten them with FCA as if your neighbours are drug dealing their rent money is technically criminal cash flow.

Benefit fraud is another potential option if you see the neighbours working.

Go down the route of trying to force the Council to buy ypur property. Indicate you'll take them to the Local Government Ombudsman with the support of your MP if they don't do something, then actually do it.

But tbh, you are vulnerable and in your position I'd move.

Partylikeits1985 · 17/01/2025 08:06

lifeonmars100 · 16/01/2025 22:05

This isn't really an AIBU more a "how the hell am I going to cope"

in the Summer of 2022 the horrible house next door to me was sold at auction and I was initially so relieved thinking that someone had bought it and was going to do it up. It had gone to rack and ruin over the past 6 years or so wiht a bad landlord, a horrible tenant who was rude to everyone who asked him to tackle the broken fences, the brambles and massive buddleia that took over the tiny back yard and encroached into the communal entry making it very difficult to get bins in and out. Oh was I happy when the house was sold. New landlord arrived and spent 4 days whitewashing it and then the same weekend the new tenants arrived. They are Roma and they live a very alternative life style which is the best way to express how they are. They have filled the back yard with scrap, they broke the communal gate which I paid to replace, they then broke that, they broke into my back yard and took my bin, went through my gardening box, they shout and yell til about 2am. They used my address to claim benefits, take out a phone contract and open a bank account, I found this out when I started getting all the debt collection letters, they used my address to register a female child in school and then took her out of school and the attendance officer came to my home looking for her. I guess they managed to do all the fraud stuff by using the correct ID for their address and then saying they had moved. Anyway that is just a snapshot of the hell, there is the flytipping, the constant noise, ask them politely to keep it down and they swear at me, they chuck bin bags out on the street. I cannot use my back yard due to the constant noise, I used to have a pretty little garden out there but have given up now. This winter they must have had a blocked drainage pipe which they then tampered with and all their bath water was running out into my yard! Reported all the issues to the council who did an inspection and said there were "significant issues" and they were taking action. That was nearly 20 months ago! Suddenly at the start of December 2024 they vanished, all the curtains went, all the furniture went and I thought they had done a runner and was so relieved. My mental health began to improve, I felt relaxed at home, I enjoyed Christmas and even began to think about doing up my back yard for the Summer. Tonight I saw lights on, hear shouting and see that they or other friends/family are back. Feel hopeless and depressed, can't afford to move and anyway who would buy my house other than another slum landlord? guess I am just venting as i am so upset . I have made numerous reports to the council and to the police (forgot to say they were doing what looked like drug dealing for a while, people knocking on the door and small packages and cash being exchanged) it is a row of terraces that open onto the street so things are very visible. Feel hopeless, they made my life wretched and now they are back. It is a two up two down and they sometimes have as many as 10 adults in there, last year I caught them just about to take my mothers day flowers off the step, they called me a "mother fucking cunt" when I have asked them not to shout all the time.When it is really bad I have to wear earplugs in the kitchen In despair about having to endure it all over again.

Quite a bit of criminal behaviour going on there. Have you involved the police?

JohnofWessex · 17/01/2025 08:06

RhathymicandMaenadic · 17/01/2025 04:19

Plenty of your 'undesirable types' live in 'nice middle class areas'
I think the phrase you are looking for is a 'Security patrolled gated community where no riff-raff get to ener' as a place to live.

Edited

In Gated Communities its all too often the riff raff that are inside the gates!

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