Wanting to be alone all the time and irritated - perimenopause??

[Orchidsunlight]

Can anyone relate, I am late 40's and recently apart from being irritated a lot i find i just crave to be alone, is this normal? I have a house full of husband and 20 somethings and i feel like screaming , people everywhere, making noise, making all sorts of food in the kitchen, everyone asking me to remind them of things etc, I just want to be alone and sit with a glass of wine and a book, or something on tv i like. My real dream is to live alone in a cottage by the sea, just me my books, my candles, a nice bottle of wine in the fridge, doing what I like, when I like.
Is this normal as i feel quite fed up lately with people around me all the time at home...

lol yanbu. I hear you! I'm an introvert anyway but perimenopause has pushed me further into this camp. Meaningful connection is lovely and satisfying still isn't it, but the constant people hanging off you needing things is stifling. I get really irritated by being needed at all now, then a bit affronted if I feel unwanted too. Bounce between over-demand, and perceived rejection. Boom yourself a cottage / books/ wine for a weekend/ week if you can and get it out of your system for a bit. Solidarity!

Can't tell you how much I relate to this! Same age, same situation (younger kids). All I want is to be on my own. I think about it a lot.

I found the book Wise Power fabulous on this aspect of menopause, a very affirming perspective. By Alexandra Pope from Red School. What you're experiencing is very normal and important!

Early 40s and totally relate also. I presumed it was just having young kids with constant needs and demands 🤔

I was in this situation and now have a silent, peaceful house. I’ve come to realise this is how I shoukd have been living all along! Ditched the men, just me and my son, decorated in a calming way… bliss 😂😂

Absolutely relate. If I had the money I would book myself a little holiday. Just me.

Also relate. Always the life and soul of the party but that took all of my social battery. Now I honestly just want my jammies, wine and a book. Solidarity

I'm currently sitting at the kitchen table quietly fuming that DH is sitting in my comfy chair. He was going to go and watch TV. In another room. Where I am not. Yet there he is.

Yep.Im 44.
I HAVE to have my half hour with coffee before I get my dc up then go to work with hundreds of other kids.
I used to get 4 hours a day alone when I worked pt.I really miss it!

I have no idea if I'm menopausal (I still have the implant in, so don't get periods anyway). But if I am menopausal, then my biggest symptom is wanting to be alone ... and avoiding social events at all costs.

That’s normal, I suspect that wanting but not getting it is normal as well 😞

Oh gosh thank you, sat here with my glass of red in peace finally, worried id get flamed but so relieved people can relate, I am finally alone tonight, the 20 somethings are out and dh watching something in another room.

I often get up early so i can get me time, pottering with a coffee

Late 30s here and no idea if I am perimenopausal, but I totally agree. I go to bed early just to get my own space!

Oh yes. Early 40s here and completely relate. If only someone had warned me in my 20s to squirrel money away so I could have a secret mum-cave dug into the garden.

someone told me to read 'Ladder of Years ' by Anne Tyler:

One warm summer's day at the beach, forty-year-old Cordelia Grinstead, dressed only in a swimsuit and beach robe, walks away from her family and just keeps on going.

Im going tom my library when the kids back at uni / work to get this

I think it’s because your oestrogen levels fall and ‘don’t give a fuck takes over’…

Late 40s yes it took hold. I am an extrovert but I suddenly could not listen or tolerate other people’s noise or thoughts. Longed to be on my own at home, nowhere else will do and hear nothing but my own thoughts.

Aftet decades of motherhood etc I am just running out of interest - I just want to read, feel relaxed and not speak to a soul.

Is it really wrong to admit that a part of me has always felt like this, since becoming a mum?!

thats it, the nurturing side has gone down after years of doing it and i just want to do my thing , not care for others??

not at all, some of us always like to be alone

Are you me?! I just took myself out for the day to a lovely historic town. Five hours alone. Bliss.
You are being true to yourself and thankfully that’s one of the bonuses of being a bit older

I'm 49 and I literally couldn't agree more with what you're describing. I've always been an introvert, but I've reached a whole new level of craving solitude. Even with DH, who is utterly epic. I had to walk out of the room the other day because he was eating an apple and I couldn't stand the noise.

I also lolled at the poll result.

Yep same here. 44 and mostly just want to be at home alone watching any old crap I fancy on Tv and doing my crochet with my cat next to me.

Yes, I’m craving the life you’ve described!

It’s not so much DH / DS themselves… But the chaos, mess, dirt, noise, general needs of them (well, DS is 4 TBF).

I’d love the house to be one cupboard for their crap. And everything else to be a lovely haven for my lifestyle.