Wanting to be alone all the time and irritated - perimenopause??

[Orchidsunlight]

Can anyone relate, I am late 40's and recently apart from being irritated a lot i find i just crave to be alone, is this normal? I have a house full of husband and 20 somethings and i feel like screaming , people everywhere, making noise, making all sorts of food in the kitchen, everyone asking me to remind them of things etc, I just want to be alone and sit with a glass of wine and a book, or something on tv i like. My real dream is to live alone in a cottage by the sea, just me my books, my candles, a nice bottle of wine in the fridge, doing what I like, when I like.
Is this normal as i feel quite fed up lately with people around me all the time at home...

Here is my fantasy alone home! I have actually spent a week here pottering when it was a holiday let, it was so lovely making a cup of tea by the kitchen window watching passers by pop into the village shop next door then taking my little dog for a walk around the village and stopping at the pub for refreshments!
I just love the simple quiet life of a small but gorgeous home that doesn’t take too much looking after and pottering to my hearts content.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/145174028#/media?activePlan=1&id=media9&ref=photoCollage&channel=RES_BUY

This is the thread for me, hello. I’m 51, on HRT, and hate everyone. I have a people-y job (teaching) and when I get home I just want to stare at junk telly and not have to speak to anyone.

My DP usually works abroad about 40% of the time which works perfectly because I have time by myself, start to miss him, love having him home until he starts to irritate me, then another trip is just round the corner. For operational reasons he’s been UK based since his last trip in October, and also (screams) mainly WFH - it feels like I never have the house to myself. Tomorrow he’s off at a sport thing all day until about 8pm and I am so looking forward to it!

my adult kids and husband comment i am a bit grumpy , i feel bad about it but cant help it, just need to be alone in my own space

once the kids have left home im moving to my 1 bed cottage on the coast

So many relatable comments on here.
Please say hello to my tiny but perfectly formed dream home

Obviously designed for solo living

Well I’m 40 and only live with my partner and I feel like this 😂 I do actually intend to buy my own place, I’m so over sharing with someone

ps don’t think it’s anything to do with hormones in my case, I’ve felt like this for some time 😂

Omg would recommend everyone on this thread to read this book.
First time I read it in my 20's I enjoyed as an excellent Anne Tyler book (which it is). On re-reading a number of times in 30's and 40's it only ever gets better for all the reasons people have articulated on this thread.

Yes!! And then I feel guilty. Haha

DH has just done 5 night shifts, so I've had evenings to myself and the bed to myself and it's been bliss. He's back today and although I do miss him desperately I also enjoy being alone.

I do have teens, but they are very self sufficient at least.

I sometimes travel with work, and get to stay in hotels. My boss always worries about me needing to do it and I reassure her she doesn't need to worry, I actually quite like not having to deal with the husband, kids and pets and it's just me, my book and a glass of wine on the company account!

omg YES

Have ordered the Anne Tyler book. Now I need some peace to read it

It’s a downside of having children later in life.

I’m 52, have been feeling less maternal (after being a very maternal mum) and craving alone time (despite being an extrovert) for at least 3-4 years… but I’ve got a 14 yr old who still needs a mum! There are three years between him and his older brother, and I do feel bad that he often gets this irritable and exhausted version of me.

I like my alone time and always have. I live in a house of 3 only kids so everyone likes their quiet alone time.

But interesting to read the comments- as I think my nurturing side is more than in my 30s not less. I think perimenopause is a time of reflection and assessment and these days women have choices to change their life at this crossroads.

Solidarity 👊

Am reminded of this thread 😂

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/5193542-yup-ive-made-it-folks?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I am so glad I found this thread! It’s not talked about enough, are we supposed to be feeling ashamed of wanting “me” space? Stuff that! I’ve had thirty years of involved parenting/nurturing already, and still have primary aged children though no live-in partner thank goodness. I find gardening helps a lot.

Ha can totally relate. Supervised my then 15 year old a few years ago on a trip with her mates I was just there to check in on them and be on hand. Meant I stayed on my own in a tiny airbnb on the harbour front in the south of France in june. I think about this trip every day and realised I enjoyed it more than the rowdy girls trips and family holidays I always go on..

thank fully i had mine in my mid 20's , i know a friend of mine who had hers later , said by late 40's her daughters hormones were going one way, and hers the other !

Does anyone take or considered hrt??? not sure if i should discuss with GP:

hot a lot
no period now for 5 mths
irrtated a lot / short fuse normally placid
want to be alone as per the post

love this , who is this mumsnetter i love her

I know! I was a little worried she never made it to her meeting, but I'm not sure she would have minded

Def see gp to chat about HRT.

And do not feel guilty for carving out some 'you' time. My dc are older now and flying the nest, soon to be replaced with caring for elderly parents. So get yourself levelled out with HRT and make the most of putting yourself first whenever you can!

been out all day with my young adult dd old sorting uni food etc and all afternoon i was a bit grumpy and couldn't stop thinking of getting home and having my cup of tea and a potter, my family are noticing im more snappy i just cant seem to help it,, will discuss with a gp.

Husband is the best, told me to book a night away by myself whenever i want, now on booking.com..........................

I feel this a lot too. I need space and alone time. Fortunately I only work 4 days, so get Mondays to myself. It's a godsend.

Result!!

Ok I have bagged myself a cheap Travelodge room and dinner deal for £50 so im off soon for that, im sooooooo excited, my husband has been great and said if we can, i should do it once a mth, he totally gets it!